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Be your wife's bodyguard

3K views 35 replies 28 participants last post by  TN_Mike 
#1 ·
If you are like me, then when you go out to the mall or where ever, you are always paying attention to what is going on around you and your wife rarely is. She is focused on shopping or whatever.

I don't just carry a gun for my protection, it is for hers as well(I am not going to discuss additional people and children at this time due to the fact that I don't want to over complicate the discussion). My thinking is that if I am going to protect her, I might as well do it right. VIP style.

Basically what I am talking about is one man foot escort techniques. How to move from point A to point B and be in a position to respond to threats against her person. This is part art and part science. But here is some basic information on the subject and possibly drills to practice on the range.

one man vip protection - Google Video

Close Protection / Bodyguard Firearms Training

Basically I always stay behind her. That way nobody can sneak up behind her and attack her. If they do attack her from behind they would get a nasty surprise from me a short second later.

If a threat comes form the front I quickly step in front of her, usually from her left, which allows me to push her away or sweep my arm in front of her, while I draw my gun with my right hand.

After addressing the threat, either verbally, with martial arts, or with my handgun, depending on the situation, I quickly evacuate her from the scene.

If somebody is approaching or a threat presents itself to her right or left, say a guy eye balling her that is about to pass her walking in the opposite direction on her left side, then I will close in and casually move up to her left side. If I would have been in front of her, he might have passed me before he even gave her a look and then moved in to grab her or brush up against her or whatever.

Often I will move ahead when I see it is clear, to open a door or I simply reach around her to open it. Or I might move ahead if we are about to round a corner, to see what is on the other side before she dose, but then I quickly fall back in behind.

I guess it appears that I follow her around everywhere, but that is how I was trained to protect Very Important People(VIP'S).

I have had several instances when this diligence has paid off for me. It has not be so dramatic that I have had to use my gun, but it has been eventful enough that I certainly am sold on the idea. Everything from guys trying to bump into her and feel her up in extremely crowded places, to me keeping her from running into other people when she is not paying attention.

Let me know what you guys do and think about this subject.
 
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#2 ·
I work corporate security/personal protection and I often find myself falling back on my training when out and about with my wife. Like you, I am often only protecting her from bumping into others do to her lack of SA, but if a SHTF situation ever took place I would be in a position to effectively defend her from danger.
 
#3 ·
good topic, I use several of the techniques already mentioned.
 
#4 ·
My wife is very independent. That's why she has a CCL of her own and carries a gun herself. When we are at the mall shopping or anywhere else we both point out things and people to be alert about.

Since I can't always be with her I like to use this theory.

I can be your personal security and save you for a day. Or I can teach you how to protect yourself and save you for a lifetime.
 
#13 ·
I agree, I've been married a long time and I've essentially been my wife's personal bodyguard. About a year ago she got her CCL so I've been "attempting" to coach her about SA. Lately, when we went somewhere together, if I saw something/someone that should be a concern, I'd ask her about it later.

For instance: We had just stopped to fill up with gas, and she went inside the convenience store for a coke. I'm gassing up the car and watching her and everything else. She safely returns, we get in the car and leave, and I say:

Me- "Did you see that scruffy-looking guy hanging out by the pay phone"?

Her- "No"

Me-"He was just about 10 feet from the door, standing on the other side of the pay phone, I was watching him and guessing he was going to try and hit you up for a dollar"

Her-"No I never saw him"

Me- "hmmmm" :tired: (33 years of marriage tells me not to push this further)

Her-"I didn't see him because I wasn't really looking for anyone. I feel very safe when you're with me. I am much more careful when I'm alone though."

Me-"OK, thanks for the compliment, and I'm glad you feel safe, but I really would like for you to help me watch also. Two pairs of eyes are better than one pair".

So lately I've been working on keeping her alert and cautious even when we're together. Currently she is doing much better, I notice she is beginning to pass my "test questions". I never fully realized I had "lulled" her into feeling safe, and she turning off her SA as a result of my presence.

I've read all the previous posts and thanks for all the good information presented. I'm mentioning my wife's situation in order to remind you husbands to encourage your wives to continue to be diligent even when you are present. :hand10:
 
#5 ·
That second video was some very dangerous techniques. My instructor would have my ass if I did that. You COVER your principal, why would you push them away. There could be another unseen threat. You just left them out in the open. Also, they second guy in the detail could have very easily shot guy #1 since he was shooting from behind him. I hope they weren't paying for this "instruction".


That being said, I do behave like a bodyguard for my wife and son. Keep your eyes open and you gun hand free.
 
#6 ·
My girlfriend of six months plus has already learned which seat is mine in the restaurant according to tactical necessity, and she knows that when I grab her hand or arm and move her when we are walking or just standing somewhere it is for her safety either due to a possible threat I have spotted or just to keep her out of traffic Etc. She is ten years younger than I and still has a shiny pair of rose colored glasses. They are starting to lose their rosy tint very slowly but until then I consider myself her chauffeur along the Devils Highway. The great thing isshe is a country girl who loves to shoot and shows strong interest in obtaining her CHL upon turning 21. I am a gentleman to the core and feel it is my repsonsibility to take care of her when I am with her, and I and very honored to have the duty.
 
#7 ·
If a threat comes form the front I quickly step in front of her, usually from her left, which allows me to push her away or sweep my arm in front of her, while I draw my gun with my right hand.
I'll assume that this is a typo. I expect that you meant that you would step in front of her from her right so that you sweep with your left arm and keep your strong hand free to access your weapon.
 
#9 ·
Great info, thanks for sharing. It will certainly help me keep an eye on those most important to me.

One question, how would you modify this to fit walking around with my Wife and 4 kids? I mean, we have each hand full when moving around in a large crowd, and I normally lead since I can spot openings and can maneuver pretty easily. I know based on what you just shared I am basically leaving the family in a lurch. In less crowded areas we usually walk with Mom in front and the 4 kids in a line (by height, which gets us some funny looks sometimes) and then me bringing up the rear, more so to keep an eye on their hands and make sure they aren't pulling stuff off of the shelves.
 
#11 ·
If you are like me, then when you go out to the mall or where ever, you are always paying attention to what is going on around you and your wife rarely is. She is focused on shopping or whatever.

I don't just carry a gun for my protection, it is for hers as well(I am not going to discuss additional people and children at this time due to the fact that I don't want to over complicate the discussion). My thinking is that if I am going to protect her, I might as well do it right. VIP style.
I couldnt agree more. After 5 years my wife still hates me to carry a gun and I can not get her to understand this world is not as perfect as she has led herself to believe. I started carrying when my first son was born mainly for the protection of him and my wife.
 
#14 ·
While I also try to protect my wife, and myself, one can go too far, and miss the pleasure aspect of being with one's spouse. I usually walk NEXT to her, and often hold her hand. Remember to be her husband and lover FIRST, and her Bodyguard SECOND. The husband role is more critical, and more difficult.

The reality is that most of us are more likely to lose our spouse to a divorce (for not being a good husband) than we are to losing her from a felon's assault.

JERRY
 
#20 ·
I pretty much agree. Walk WITH her, spend time WITH her, hold her hand. Stay awake and if things set off red flags then I can switch things up. Usually it's husband first, but once things get to orange then I might have to be less than courteous with her and apologize for manhandling her into a safer location/position later.
 
#15 ·
I have *slight* issues with the videos, but the concept is OK.
I just have real issues with people thinking they are capable of doing these types of things and creating a false sense of security.
It takes a lot of work and training to adequately protect another human being alone.
 
#16 ·
Originally Posted by JudoJake

If a threat comes form the front I quickly step in front of her, usually from her left, which allows me to push her away or sweep my arm in front of her, while I draw my gun with my right hand.

Uhhhh . . . not sure how to say this, Jake, but man, if the way you chose to word your post is accurate (indicating that this sort of thing is a frequent happening), I'd suggest you take your wife to different places. :wink:


Seriously, man . . . just dogging on you a bit. I totally agree that I--as husband--am my wife's protector and should keep an eye out for her. I just thought your use of the present tense to describe a potential situation was a little too much Mall Ninja. :haha:
 
#19 ·
I'm sorry, but if my husband walked behind me, acting like a detached bodyguard instead of a loving husband I'd kick his butt.

If I wanted a bodyguard I would hire one. I WANTED a husband! A man to love and to cherish me and to be affectionate with me. Sure, he can and does protect me, but while displaying that I am his mate, not his job.

I'm sure everything is well intended, but just be sure your wife (and I'm talking to all the married men here, not just the OP) is okay with that kind of arrangement before you start walking a pace behind her and treating her like a target instead of a woman you love.

When JD first got his carry permit, I'll be honest, he was.. well, a jerk.

He wouldn't let me hold his hand. He wouldn't look at me when I talked to him because he was "scanning for threats." He wouldn't let me hug him because I was inhibiting his draw or I might (GASP) cause some printing. Forget about me even WALKING on his strong side. It was like going out with robocop and I hated it.

It got to the point that if I wanted to have any fun with him at all I had to beg him not to carry, not because I didn't like him being armed, I just didn't like how he acted when he was armed. He acted like touching me would be a breach of some secret tactical code that would get us both instantly and horribly killed.

Luckily for me it was just the jitters of first time carry and he loosened up and laid back BIG time. He became 100% more enjoyable to be around armed and by the time I was old enough to get my permit he was as comfortable with me armed as he was unarmed.

If he reverted back to those old tactics in the guise of "protecting" me I think I would have to take a newspaper upside him head and remind him that while I appreciate his concern, I don't want the terminator, I want my husband!

I'm not saying that any of you are like this now, just cautioning you to find ways to defend your family while not making them feel like you are an impersonal bodyguard but still PART of the family you are trying to defend.

I appreciate my husband opening doors for me, but if he ran ahead of me to assess corners and then fell back behind me, and some of the other stuff recommended, he'd turn around and see that I was standing stock still with a look of, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?" on my face.

My husband is very vigilant of me and my safety (especially with his baby on board) and he DOES walk between me and the street. He will step between me and shady characters that may be passing and he has absolutely no problem guiding me away from things he might see as dangerous that I may have not seen, but he does it tastefully with the feel of a loving husband, not a bodyguard. When he switches sides with me he still holds my hand or puts his arm around me. When he alerts me to threats he does it by squeezing my hand and guiding me away, not just pushing me out of the way. When he moves between me and the street he makes sure to do so with a loving gesture.

I don't want him to treat me like a VIP, I want him to treat me like the woman he loves.

Typically, because we train and shoot and carry and discuss tactics together, we enter situations together and we dialogue about potential threats. Sometimes I see things he doesn't see, sometimes he sees things I don't see and we have ways of alerting each other, but on the times when I have not been so alert (say, when I was medicated out of my mind and shuffling along the Detroit airport to our next plane in agony) I was relying entirely on him to be my guide and guard and he took up the role with ease while still treating me gently and lovingly.

I guess that, in conclusion, I'd say it's a wonderful thing to want to protect your family and the people that you love, and I commend anyone who takes on that role and I agree that there are certain things that you can do to make that more possible and comfortable, but don't forget the emotional comfort of your family. Don't alienate them because you are trying to protect them. Some may be perfectly okay with it, but it may just emotionally push away the very people you are trying to protect.
 
#22 ·
I guess that, in conclusion, I'd say it's a wonderful thing to want to protect your family and the people that you love, and I commend anyone who takes on that role and I agree that there are certain things that you can do to make that more possible and comfortable, but don't forget the emotional comfort of your family. Don't alienate them because you are trying to protect them. Some may be perfectly okay with it, but it may just emotionally push away the very people you are trying to protect.
I deleted some of the stuff you wrote in the interest of brevity.

I have to ask. How did someone your age develop such insight, common sense, and ability to express herself? Most of us around here don't have that ability. I'm glad you do. I've only known a few people (3-4) in my life who have those qualities. They were all much older and more experienced in life than you are.
 
#21 ·
I do not like my wife in front of me, since a threat against me, which I consider a higher probability than a random attack against us, would slow down my response. An outright ambush is a lot harder to defend against if even possible.
 
#23 ·
Yea, I am right handed. I wrote that down wrong.

Good point about being a husband first. I agree with this. I have been married for going on nine years and don't plan on screwing it up anytime soon. However I don't think in this case you necessarily have to chose one or the other. When I am protecting her, it relaxes me and makes me more engaged in the present as well as paying attention to possible threats. I can't consciously shut off my training, I would have to do it on purpose, which would drive me crazy and not allow me to relax at all. I works for me and my wife. I am very casual and she doesn't get the feeling that she is being hovered over.

In regards to the videos. They were found on short notice and don't necessarily reflect the techniques I use or my exact training. However it dose allow people to see (to a degree) what I am talking about. Also keep in mind that I am not the subject matter expert in this, which is part of my reason for posting this and hearing what you have to say.

In regards to SIXTO. I agree that this takes a lot of training and practice to pull off perfectly. However since nobody else is watching over her, this is definitely a "do it yourself job."

I have been doing this for several years and have been a few places traveling, so yes I have a few stories, but nothing serious.

Thanks for the feed back everyone.
 
#24 · (Edited by Moderator)
Lima, you wrote;

My husband is very vigilant of me and my safety (especially with his baby on board) and he DOES walk between me and the street. He will step between me and shady characters that may be passing and he has absolutely no problem guiding me away from things he might see as dangerous that I may have not seen, but he does it tastefully with the feel of a loving husband, not a bodyguard. When he switches sides with me he still holds my hand or puts his arm around me. When he alerts me to threats he does it by squeezing my hand and guiding me away, not just pushing me out of the way. When he moves between me and the street he makes sure to do so with a loving gesture.
That's the trick. Sounds like he is doing it right. Let me say that all of your advice is good advise. However this isn't apples for apples because you look after yourself. Although I am very happy with my wife, and I'm not trying to make is sound like she is completely oblivious, she doesn't normally think about these things. I agree that it can be taken to an extreme. You have to find what works for you as a couple. My wife rarely even knows I'm doing it until I do step between her and a potential threat. At that point, she is happy that I am there.
 
#25 ·
If a bear attacks...... I'm betting I can run faster than my Ex. She's on her own.
 
#26 ·
When I think of JD and Lima walking down the street...I get a mental picture of Neo and Trinity from The Matrix walking in to save Morpheus.
 
#28 ·
I would argue that acting like a bodyguard attracts more undesirable attention than the potential benefits provide. It would probably be a good idea out of country, someplace no one should be going with their wife on vacation in the first place.

The best defense is to blend in and stay aware. If you have to draw your weapon to defend your principal, you have failed and should be fired if you survive. Just $.02 from a practicing EP specialist.
 
#29 ·
My wife's journey has not truly begun

I would be excited for one baby step from Mrs. Sojo.

She always seems to want to hold my strong hand at the exact time that someone who kicks up my alertness comes close by. It may make her feel safer, but absolutely kills my ability to react with my strong arm.

She also poo poos my trying for SA.

One situation, which I haven't shared before, shows just the situation I am in. We were traveling home from a relatives house. I stopped (Hershey, PA) to fill up the gas tank. She and our son in the car and I am pumping gas. A group of people around 20 yards away congregated around a SUV. There was some type of activity going on and the people had clothing on with sports team that was not from the Hershey area (they appeared to be visitors/travelers to me). As I was pumping gas, I saw the activity. Then I saw a marked police cruiser observing the activity. I kept (what I thought was) a keen eye on the activity and the police observing the activity. I did not see anything, so I payed for the gas and got in the car and pulled out.

Thinking I could have a talking point with my wife on situational awareness, I mentioned the group and the activity and the police cruiser and police observing the activity. Before I could finish my sentence she told me. ... I saw one person by the SUV pull his gun out from underneath his shirt (not sure if there was a holster), rack a round in, and then put his gun back under his shirt.

Whiskty Tango Foxtrot! I exclaimed that the situation could have turned ugly very quickly. Somebody pulling a firearm out of a position of concealment in public. (note: I am not against CCW at all. It is just that if a gun is coming out of concealment in public, it most assuredly is not coming out for administrative handling, but for self defense or offense in the case of a BG). And I want to be able to evacuate my loved ones from said area.

She just said, I knew he wasn't going to shoot anybody, what's the big deal. I mentioned how that it only takes a fraction of a second to point and pull the trigger. And mentioned that the car door and window is not any ballistic protection for her and our boy. Then the familiar eye rolling started from her.

So, to get back on thread. My wife's keen observations would be great to help us bodyguard each other; However, we need work on the risk assessment.

And anyone getting any semblance of co-operation with the dear spouse, be thankful for that. And go slow in pushing for more than the dear spouse is willing to give.
 
#30 ·
A group of people around 20 yards away congregated around a SUV. There was some type of activity going on and the people had clothing on with sports team that was not from the Hershey area (they appeared to be visitors/travelers to me). As I was pumping gas, I saw the activity. Then I saw a marked police cruiser observing the activity. I kept (what I thought was) a keen eye on the activity and the police observing the activity. I did not see anything, so I payed for the gas and got in the car and pulled out.

Thinking I could have a talking point with my wife on situational awareness, I mentioned the group and the activity and the police cruiser and police observing the activity. Before I could finish my sentence she told me. ... I saw one person by the SUV pull his gun out from underneath his shirt (not sure if there was a holster), rack a round in, and then put his gun back under his shirt.
Sure they weren't vice/narcs?:wink:
 
#32 ·
If you are like me, then when you go out to the mall or where ever, you are always paying attention to what is going on around you and your wife rarely is. She is focused on shopping or whatever.

I don't just carry a gun for my protection, it is for hers as well(I am not going to discuss additional people and children at this time due to the fact that I don't want to over complicate the discussion). My thinking is that if I am going to protect her, I might as well do it right. VIP style.
I feel I have a partnership with my wife and we look after one another. She carries a 1911. So do I.
 
#33 ·
Even though I started the thread, I'm going to get off topic a little bit. I took my wife and three kids out today and we went to a place with lots of shops and restaurants. I realized that I'm not really capable of dealing with much else than getting my children from point a to point b. VIP protection is not an option. I do good if I can just get them in and out of the car. Of course I have twin four year old boys and a one year old daughter. I can still pay attention to some degree, but I'm definitely occupied with just keeping them out of trouble. Keeping things out of my gun hand is nearly impossible. Now when it is just my wife, no problem. :boese51:
 
#36 ·
If you are like me, then when you go out to the mall or where ever, you are always paying attention to what is going on around you and your wife rarely is. She is focused on shopping or whatever.
Sorry friend but, my wife carries too and we are each others back up. When we go out to the mall or where ever it may be, since we have 5 kids, she and I are always scanning the area and keeping watch out for the scum bags. I have a friend who has been out with us and she said that if my wife and I just had matching sunglasses and ear pieces, it would look an awful lot like we were Secret Service protecting the Presidential family. :rofl:

You can't be too careful these days.

Even though I started the thread, I'm going to get off topic a little bit. I took my wife and three kids out today and we went to a place with lots of shops and restaurants. I realized that I'm not really capable of dealing with much else than getting my children from point a to point b. VIP protection is not an option. I do good if I can just get them in and out of the car. Of course I have twin four year old boys and a one year old daughter. I can still pay attention to some degree, but I'm definitely occupied with just keeping them out of trouble. Keeping things out of my gun hand is nearly impossible. Now when it is just my wife, no problem. :boese51:
Been there. I know what you mean. Since my wife carries too (XD .40sc) it does make it easier. We have a 17 year old boy, 13 year old girl, 12 year old boy and 6 year old twin boys. Just herding them all to the same spot is difficult enough, but you have to watch out for the scum bags. They see a family where the obvious protector, the Father, is pre-occupied with the kids as an easy mark.
Work on getting your wife more alert to her surroundings and maybe even carrying herself. having another person with you who is armed more than doubles your chances of both of you making it through a violent encounter alive.
 
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