Alternatives for wife

Alternatives for wife

This is a discussion on Alternatives for wife within the Defensive Knives & Other Weapons forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Hiya there, I carry everywhere except work - where I have EDC knife in pocket and sometimes pepper spray. My wife comes from a thick ...

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Thread: Alternatives for wife

  1. #1
    Member Array ping.brady's Avatar
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    Alternatives for wife

    Hiya there,

    I carry everywhere except work - where I have EDC knife in pocket and sometimes pepper spray. My wife comes from a thick anti-gun family background, but she has come a long way. She hasn't shot yet and I'm not wanting to push her into anything either. She knows I carry just about anywhere, but still asks me occasionally if I have "it". Mainly while at a grocery store or other public places where someone acting irregular catches her eye. She'll instantly look at me and quietly ask. I see it coming since I'd be watching this person and in tune with the situation long before her, so I usually smile at her or nod discreetly. Later in the car or at home she has mentioned how she feels safe knowing I have it. She also admits she is still scared of guns in general, which I can understand, and we are gradually working on converting her fear of firearms into respect for firearms.

    Few weeks ago, we had a "bump in the night"; I cleared as usual and damn near shot the cat (not really, but have considered it). The next night, we talked about it. She brought up how she occasionally feels a less safe when I am away on my hunting/camping/outdoorsy manly type weekend trips. She even expressed interest in additional training on a firearm of mine before my next trip.

    Even if I get her to go out shooting and start building familiarity and competency, it'll be a long time before she has a Kahr or snubby in her purse. Again, I don't think it's wise to push her into it - especially since her interest is growing organically I would however like to find some intermediate solutions she can use to protect herself and our kids when I am not around. I got her some pepper spray, but am afraid since her SA isn't as good about something like this, and that the 1.5 year old will get his hands on it from her purse.

    Any pseudo kid proof solutions out there I'm missing? Thought of getting a taser type product, but with each attempt to research, I get lost with what features, voltage, safeties, etc is right for us.

    Any insight to alternative protective weapons for women who aren't ready for a firearm?

    Thanks,
    Live Smart!


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array chiefjason's Avatar
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    With a taser you will have to figure out how the state view it. Is it a weapon? Can it legally be concealed? All that stuff. Pepper spray is good. They make impact weapons that can mount to keychains. You can use keys in a pinch too. My wife asked for a knife for Christmas. Her only reason was as a last ditch weapon, so I think she is capable of using it if she needs to.

    And keep nudging her towards shooting more. I asked my wife to go to the range every time I went. It took 6 months or so, but she finally came along. She had no experience with guns. She now has her CHP, 2 handguns, and a shotgun.
    I prefer to live dangerously free than safely caged!

    "Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun. And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son." Josh Thompson "Way Out Here"

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    Get her started with a CO2 pellet handgun or .22LR handgun like a Buckmark or Ruger
    Magazine <> clip - know the difference

    martyr is a fancy name for crappy fighter
    You have never lived until you have almost died. For those that have fought for it, life has a special flavor the protected will never know

  4. #4
    Distinguished Member Array kapnketel's Avatar
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    The only kid proof way is to have a safe of some sort, even if for pepper spray. How about taking her trap shooting? While not a carry weapon, it will help her get used to firearm safety, the noise and all but making it a bit of a game and a couples outing. I Agee with your approach of taking it slow.
    I'd rather be lucky than good any day

    There's nothing that will change someone's moral outlook quicker than cash in large sums.

    Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.

  5. #5
    Member Array ping.brady's Avatar
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    Oh, and three weeks ago a childhood friend of hers died due to ND while showing someone his weapon. Let me tell you, she'd never been more interested in gun safety. For days, we talked about the details of how mine are stored, handled, etc. I stessed that if the operator followed 4 basic rules, no one can get hurt. Since our kids arent qualified as safe operators, I welcomed the safety inspection for how accessible, or not accessible, they are. We found a few improvements to how the night stand weapon could be better protected (layered safety).

    Anywho. My point is that her parents - anti-gun who knew the guy that died well- were now questioning why we even need guns in the house and how dangerous "they" are. Due to the sensative situation, I choose not to try and convince them of my views, or even educate them (conversation for when families arent grieving). My wife however, after having deeply quized me on our situation and my rules, fully understands and takes the position of "it wasnt the guns fault, <name> unfortunatly didnt have sufficient, or properly apply, safety training."

    Also, last year for my B-day, she planned and executed a secret getaway weekend that included a NRA event. While browsing the raffle pieces, she said several times how she liked the cowboy looking guns and the pink autos. So she has really come a long way... started with not being OK that i owned firearms and had in the house when we met.

    When she is ready, i'll borrow a friends .22 and maybe a .38 six-banger... if she demonstrates competency, i'll pickup a revolver she can handle. Then i gotta work on getting her to take a CCW class so she at least has the choice to carry

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array DanielC's Avatar
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    I just noticed where you live ping.brady. Maybe sometime we should get together and take the ladies to the range! hehehe

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array paaiyan's Avatar
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    I couldn't tell you your state laws regarding electronic stun weapons, but Oklahoma law says only that you can't use them against a police officer. Other than that it's actually completely silent on the matter. You might check into that and pepper spray. Fox Labs is what my wife and I carry for a non-lethal alternative.
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  8. #8
    Distinguished Member Array ErnieNWillis's Avatar
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    Alternative for wife

    Hand, inflatable.......woops I guess I should have read the story and not comment on the title first.
    daffyduc likes this.

  9. #9
    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
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    You're wise not to steamroll your wife into shooting. Good for you!

    At some point you might point her towards www.corneredcat.com/, a very fine website for women who wish to protect their family. From that site,
    This site is about women and guns, not about cats. But in a way, it's about the cornered cat in all of us. It's about the determination to get away from an attacker if you need to. It's about making the decision to say, "Not me. Not mine. Not today." And it's about the tools to make that decision stick.
    BTW, you said you might pick up a 38 for her... the big refrain here is to let her pick one out. I realize your plan is not to get her a carry weapon but rather one for plinking, but the advice might stand for that as well.

    If you're in the Lakewood area, you might look up www.ponderosafirearms.com. A good pal of mine is the gal who does their carving and leatherwork. I don't believe they stock firearms, but they can order you something or be the receiving FFL for a GunBroker deal or such.

    Wishing you the best!
    Recently updated website: http://www.damagedphotorepair.com

  10. #10
    Member Array dnilson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ping.brady View Post
    Oh, and three weeks ago a childhood friend of hers died due to ND while showing someone his weapon. Let me tell you, she'd never been more interested in gun safety. For days, we talked about the details of how mine are stored, handled, etc. I stessed that if the operator followed 4 basic rules, no one can get hurt. Since our kids arent qualified as safe operators, I welcomed the safety inspection for how accessible, or not accessible, they are. We found a few improvements to how the night stand weapon could be better protected (layered safety).

    Anywho. My point is that her parents - anti-gun who knew the guy that died well- were now questioning why we even need guns in the house and how dangerous "they" are. Due to the sensative situation, I choose not to try and convince them of my views, or even educate them (conversation for when families arent grieving). My wife however, after having deeply quized me on our situation and my rules, fully understands and takes the position of "it wasnt the guns fault, <name> unfortunatly didnt have sufficient, or properly apply, safety training."

    Also, last year for my B-day, she planned and executed a secret getaway weekend that included a NRA event. While browsing the raffle pieces, she said several times how she liked the cowboy looking guns and the pink autos. So she has really come a long way... started with not being OK that i owned firearms and had in the house when we met.

    When she is ready, i'll borrow a friends .22 and maybe a .38 six-banger... if she demonstrates competency, i'll pickup a revolver she can handle. Then i gotta work on getting her to take a CCW class so she at least has the choice to carry
    JMO, but as a woman, I can tell you that most of us don't have the same physical strength as men and therefore, can't handle recoil like guys can. For this reason, I WOULD NOT start her with a revolver!!!! I'd start her with a .22 or 9mm semiautomatic. A well placed head shot with a .22 can be lethal...at the very least it would probably scare someone away. I'm a dead shot with my G30, .45 ACP, but can BARELY handle my .357 revolver. In fact, I've started loading it with .38+P rounds and even with those, I'm not nearly as accurate as with my .45. You don't want her to be afraid to shoot whatever she gets. Plus, if she has something she can actually become proficient with, she'll enjoy it more, be much more likely to practice and learn how to really handle herself!

    Also, when enough time has passed and her parents start to give you a hard time again, talk to them about how safe guns are when you follow the rules, then remind them that home invasions are on the rise and ask them how they would feel if their daughter or grandchildren were injured, raped or even killed, etc., because you were gone and she was left unprepared and unprotected. Also, I've heard of gun safes that can be kept at the bedside and opened within a matter of seconds. I'm sure they'd be more comfortable if they knew the guns were in a safe.

    Lastly, I don't know how old your children are, but my Dad taught my sisters and I to shoot at a very young age. Whenever one of us was 8 or 9, he'd take us to the river and teach us how to shoot. I think we only shot .22s, but at that age, they felt like "weapons of mass distruction"!!!!! Not only did it remove ALL curiosity, but we didn't go NEAR his guns because we had respect for them and how dangerous they could be. Just something to think about. Of course, you've got to get the wifey shooting first.
    gunthorp likes this.

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ErnieNWillis View Post
    Alternative for wife

    Hand, inflatable.......woops I guess I should have read the story and not comment on the title first.
    We are sick individuals,You really gotta be careful when it comes to Titles.
    Make sure that you start her out on a 22 when she feels ready,maybe even a rifle,and outdoor range so she doesn't get jumpy from indoor gunfire.within a short period of time the next time there is a "bump" in the night,you may hear "I got Point cover my ass sugar britches"
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  12. #12
    Member Array DEATHMASTER's Avatar
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    Some great advice
    The 22 is my all time favorite gun.
    Shoot a lot for little
    More people should practice more even if it with a 22

  13. #13
    Member Array Jdschoolerjdsch's Avatar
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    Just curious, are less than lethal rounds like the shotgun bean bag available to consumers. My wife feels better shooting a couple bean bags first with a 00 buck as the 3rd or 4th round if needed. Anyone know of less than lethal pistol rounds?

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array daffyduc's Avatar
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    Alternatives for wife

    My wife also came from a very non gun friendly home. We have been together for 12 years. She shot her first hand gun 4 weeks ago. Other than that She had shot a 22 rifle in a mandatory hunters safety course in high school.

    I did not push, but I always made the door available. Finally one afternoon, I said honey, I'm going to sight my rifle in, want to come along? And although I had asked that same question hundreds of times before, she finally said "yes".

    Took her to an outdoor range on the farm behind our house. She started with my 9mm sig p250. After 20 rounds she asked what else she could shoot. I handed her the same p250 stepped up to the 40 cal however I swapped the frame down to the sub compact to fit her hand better. She shot another 15 rounds. She then moved on to my s&w K frame 38. After 12 rounds she wanted to go back the .40. She banged out a whole box of .40. Then she shot about 10 rounds of 30-06 at 100 yards. She even kept her target.

    Best day ever ;)

    My point is to be patient. She will come around when she is ready, however if you push her, that door will slam shut.

    Let her pick the pace.

    I have no advice to offer on pepper spray or stun guns unfortunately.


    "All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing."
    "People crushed by law, have no hopes but from power. If laws are their enemies, they will be enemies to laws; and those who have much to hope and nothing to lose, will always be dangerous." - Edmund Burke 10-08-1777
    "Ours is the only country deliberately founded on a good idea." ~John Gunther

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