new to any kind of defense, help please

new to any kind of defense, help please

This is a discussion on new to any kind of defense, help please within the Defensive Knives & Other Weapons forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; to be truthful, because i'm generally surrounded by people- i have an enormous amount of family: i'm related to most people where i live and ...

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Thread: new to any kind of defense, help please

  1. #1
    New Member Array starnorma's Avatar
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    Jun 2012

    new to any kind of defense, help please

    to be truthful, because i'm generally surrounded by people- i have an enormous amount of family: i'm related to most people where i live and they're the protective of family kind- i'm a bit too trusting-and most of my favorite customers at work are police officers- being able to defend myself was never a major concern in my mind. However I am now being stalked and the only thing I can defend myself at the moment with is the normal precautions about never being alone, being precautious even if it seems paranoid. I realize though, the time may come when I am completely by myself. I need advice: how can I quickly find something to defend myself with? A friend recommended pepper sprays, but the only thing I know about them is that you can get some at Walmart. I plan to start learning how to properly shoot a gun, but that might take me awhile. I guess I could just really use whatever advice you'd be willing to give me.

  2. #2
    VIP Member Array Spirit51's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
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    Knowing who is stalking you might help. You say you have a large family. Any of them know about guns? If not find a weapons instructor. Pepper spray is better than nothing, but you have to know how to use it too. You have contacted Law Enforcement....right? It won't keep you safe, but will start a record on this person. Here is one piece of advice....stay very alert and aware of who is around you and where you are. Try to avoid places that are isolated.

    You say you know Law Enforcement officers? Consult them about things to do and learning how to use a weapon. It doesn't sound like you have any time to spare. There are many women severely injured or killed by stalkers every year. Not trying to scare you, just trying to woman to another. I have been in your shoes....ex husband. Friend in Law Enforcement helped me pick out a gun from my late father's collection. I lived through it, so can you.

    That has been many years ago and now I own several weapons and the training and tactics to use them (thanks to my current (2nd) and final husband). Your ability to protect yourself will be a skill you will be happy you learned for the rest of your life. If I think of anything else....I will let you know. Keep alert and be safe and don't put off acting in YOUR best interest.
    A woman must not depend on protection by men. A woman must learn to protect herself.
    Susan B. Anthony
    A armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one has to back it up with his life.
    Robert Heinlein

  3. #3
    Array QKShooter's Avatar
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    Some good information from Spirit51.

    For "something" right away...give J&L Self Defense Products a call. They Ship FAST!

    The DPS Black Label spray would be a great choice.
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    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

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  5. #4
    New Member Array Charlie-Echo-Kilo's Avatar
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    In addition to the suggestions presented, have you considered a self-defense system or martial arts training?

    Krav Maga Association Of America Inc., Israeli Self Defense « Krav Maga Worldwide
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  6. #5
    Senior Member Array NH_Esau's Avatar
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    I'm assuming you've done the legal stuff - criminal complaints and restraining order. If not, talk to a police officer you trust and get that moving. While you're doing that, mention to him/her your concerns about self defense. They probably won't do this on an official basis, but you might just get one of them or one of their friends who is a self-defense instructor to spend some time helping you out. At the least, they'll point you to a good recommendation for self-defense training.

    As you learn about self defense, you'll also learn that the #1 best asset to have in a "situation" is a capable friend. You've got family, you've got friends, and you've got police officer friends/acquaintances - make sure they know of the threat and ask for their help... walking you to/from your car or home, keeping an eye out, being around when they can, etc.

    As far as objects to help out - if you don't, get a cell phone first. If money is tight, ask a friend for one of their old phones that is sitting in a bucket somewhere. If it can hold a charge and show a signal, it will still allow you to call 911. After that, I think start immediately with a self-defense spray and a serious small carry flashlight with strobe function (maybe the Streamlight 2L) that you can use both to illuminate the darkness and blind/disorient a threat. That will bridge the gap as you get some training and decide on carrying a firearm.

    If you do go the firearm route, I believe some states will prioritize your application if you have a valid threat. I don't know if TN is one of them. If it is, it likely will require a history of complaints and a restraining order if applicable.

    Hope that helps some.
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  7. #6
    sgb is offline
    VIP Member Array sgb's Avatar
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    You don't need to know
    Your States & Local laws can limit your choices, not knowing what your local is makes offering suggestions difficult. I'd suggest Fox Labs Pepper Spray and a solid Pocket knife like a Benchmade 551 or a ZT 350
    "There is a secret pride in every human heart that revolts at tyranny. You may order and drive an individual, but you cannot make him respect you." William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

    Best Choices for Self Defense Ammunition

  8. #7
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by starnorma View Post
    new to any kind of defense

    being able to defend myself was never a major concern in my mind. However I am now being stalked ...

    ... the only thing I can defend myself at the moment with is the normal precautions about never being alone, being precautious even if it seems paranoid.
    Welcome to DC. It's a place with lots of folks that have a lot of practical experience.

    If you're new to thinking defensively, thinking about your own security precautions, IMO you should FIRST have some serious discussions with people in your area know know about having a defensive mindset and taking practical defensive steps.

    How serious is the situation? Is this person a known quantity (name, location, history), or an unknown? Does this person know where you live, work, what you drive, your schedule, ... worse?

    Some things to consider:

    • Involve your family/friends, letting them know you're concerned and have this situation. They can be a crucial support network, but having their additional eyes/ears can help.
    • Keep your "radar" detector up, watching for anyone paying attention to you or your movements, anyone strange around your home, car or place of work. Work hard on being aware of the situation, where you are and who/what is around you. Pay attention to the little hairs rising on the back of your neck, as an indicator.
    • Change up your normal routine. Patterns get noticed, and they can be taken advantage of. Mix it up. Don't follow the exact same time patterns, or path to/from places you visit.
    • Notify police of the situation, including any facts you've got about the person and history.
    • Consider living and driving with relatives or lose friends, at least for awhile.
    • Where possible, go around with at least one other person, at least for awhile.
    • If you use a car and park outside, don't do that.
    • Lock all doors/windows.
    • Do NOT answer/open your door to unknown persons. Be aware of who's at your door prior to answering/opening. Take pains to have your family/friends call you first before coming over, and even calling when arriving. The point being, if someone's stalking you then the last thing you want to do is to open the door and have him/them quickly get in and overpower you.
    • Be aware of changes in your environment: footprints in the yard, strange people/cars around, etc.
    • Consider one or more appropriate defensive tools: a decent pepper spray; a decent knife.
    • If doing pepper spray, don't just get a single little canister. Get a few, test-driving it to know how it works and how to deploy it, and to ensure you have one wherever you are.
    • If doing a knife, consider getting at bit of decent introduction into knife defense. A little time/effort to do, but knife defense isn't as simple as you might think. As well, it can be taken from you if you're unprepared and incapable of retaining it. Think about that.
    • Be armed inside your home. A home invasion isn't as difficult to achieve as one might think. All it takes is a willingness to break a window or deliver a heavy kick to a door.
    • If you don't have a motion-sensing type warning device in your home (ie, an alarm with perimeter and motion sensing), consider adding one or more simple portable motion-detection alarms here and there at key spots. Such things can help give you time to react, if caught at home.

    Some reading material might be worth reviewing:
    ShooterGranny likes this.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: Why the Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).

  9. #8
    VIP Member Array miklcolt45's Avatar
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    @ Wits' End
    Read this. Talk to Limatunes. She is on this forum.

    Limatunes' Range Diary: Abuse, Abduction, Self Defense

    Read the link on preparing.

    Very good info in the posts above.

    Pray toward heaven. Row toward shore.

    God bless.
    Last edited by miklcolt45; June 19th, 2012 at 07:57 AM. Reason: Add link
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  10. #9
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  11. #10
    Member Array Aphdmansoc's Avatar
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    Do you have the mindset to use lethal force? If yes, good. Now all you need to do is look over what is at your disposal. In your house you have knifes. A lot of people would be squeamish in using a knife. Got to know yourself. Knifes are up close and personal and can be taken away from you. There are legal restrictions on type and length of blade of knife that you are allowed to carry. A cop or internet search should be able to answer what is legal in Tenn. The following video should be useful:

    Baseball bat, shovel, fire place poker, broken bottle get the idea look around for things in your environment that can be used...they are not your first choice but at least you will know you are not completely helpless. Trick is to upgrade from these possibities to more effective tools...firearms.

    You have been given good advice. Since you have relatives I would think that one of them would lend you a handgun preferably, a revolver a 38 caliber would be a good choice, to tide you over till you can buy your own. Meanwhile find someone who will help you to shoot.Practice and use defensive ammo - Jacket Hollow Point - for self-defense not target ammo.It will not take you very long to become proficient enough to protect yourself at typical self-defense distances 15 feet or closer. Your are not aiming to be a target shooter. Your learning to shoot for self-defense. Make this clear to who ever is assisting you. Not a bad ideato have two guns...this way you can "hide" one in your place while keeping one with on you or next to you.

    Do you know who is stalking you? If you do that should make it a little easier to protect yourself. A dog could be a good early warning system to alert you to someone lurking outside your place. This would buy you time to call for assistance and get in a good defensive position.

    For legal reasons no one can recommend that a friend or relative resort to street justice but its been known to happen. You need to get help...police, legal, family, friends and ultimately yourself. Get yourself a knife and carry in your purse or in pocket. If you go to a sporting store they can help you select or do a search in this forum or internet.

    Good luck and do not dilly dally...the life you save may be your own.

  12. #11
    VIP Member Array Yoda's Avatar
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    Your profile doesn't say but I am assuming you are female, if wrong I apologize.

    You do not mention your age, are you old enough to own/purchase a handgun? I again am guessing that you are relatively young, in the 17-23 range.

    I am also guessing you live with family (or you rent rather than own).

    Is the stalker one of your customers? If you know them have a restraining order drawn up.

    To defend yourself against a stalker you must have good situational awareness; that means you always pay attention to your surroundings and the people that are any where near you always looking for something that is not right.

    Kidnappers and other criminals are mostly opportunists, if you don't give then the opportunity they will find easier targets.
    Yoda, I am, yes.

  13. #12
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    Array gunthorp's Avatar
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    Lots of good information above.

    Nothing impresses a stalker like a big dog that enjoys going everywhere with you.
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    Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito.
    ("Do not give in to evil but proceed ever more boldly against it.")
    -Virgil, Aeneid, vi, 95

  14. #13
    Ex Member Array oldrwizr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yoda View Post
    Kidnappers and other criminals are mostly opportunists, if you don't give then the opportunity they will find easier targets.
    Yes, but by definition a stalker is obsessed with a particular person.
    limatunes likes this.

  15. #14
    VIP Member Array Yoda's Avatar
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    Agreed on stalker, for the OP, there is no magic bullet.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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  16. #15
    VIP Member Array paaiyan's Avatar
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    Good advice above. Keep trusted people close by, get yourself some good pepper spray at the least and think about something like Krav Maga.

    Most importantly, get yourself in the mindset. It's been said above but I'll reiterate it. You cannot effectively defend yourself, no matter what tools you have, unless you're in the mindset to do so. I wrote an article on why I chose Krav Maga and what it did to my philosophy on self-defense. Here it is, for what it's worth: Shadowsbane - Dispelling the Darkness: Self-Defense Philosophizing
    WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to literary devices not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.

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