Don't just walk in my house at 3 in the morning.

[ShadeDeciple]

so a few weeks ago, I'm sitting in my room, it's about 3 in the morning, roughly...I'm a pretty bad insomiac so I was wide awake but had all of my lights off and the t.v. going, tuned low as to not wake my mom a room over. well, I hear a wierd noise outside, sort of like footsteps comming up the steps to our porch...now at the time, we were living in a pretty rough neighbor hood, we were never personally messed with, but for example of how bad it was, a guy was beatten to death just 3 house up the street, and then another night the raped and beaten body of a woman was found in a nearby field, not even a mile away...so yeah...living there put me a bit on edge...so when I hear this noise, I imideitlly reach for my tanto lying just inches from me (there is at LEAST one knife within my reach at all times in my room) I started for the window to peek out at the front yard, but before I could I heard footsteps agian confirming that there was definitly someone on my porch, I slid into the living room silently pressing myself aginst the wall near the door as it began to open (the lock was broken and never worked right we were going to fix it, but never got around to it, we just ended up moving) as soon as the door was open I saw the dark siloutee of a man walking in, without hessitation, I lunged at him pinning him to the wall with my blade pressed into his neck... ... ...it was my mom's Boyfriend...who with a knife to his neck, was a bit stunned, and pretty freaked out...one slight slip and he'd of been my mom's recently decessed BF...I let him loose and he was a bit agitated at me, but tried to laugh it off a bit, which I would have NONE of it, if he thought HE was pissed he had NO idea how pissed I was that he walked into my house unannounced at three in the morning, mom's BF or not, he didn't LIVE there and had no right simply walking in, but in an effort to protect my life and my mother I could've easily killed him by acident, and then I would have been at fault...I went back to bed, the next morning my mom told him off for being upset that I almost killed him and for walking into our house at 3 in the morning, afterall it was his own fault for being stupid

if I had had a gun at the time, the man WOULD be dead right now...so thank god I only had my knife at the time I guess...

you do NOT just walk UNANOUNCED into ANY man's house at 3 in the morning, espically not one that lives in a neighborhood like the one I was in.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[bladenbullet]

i would suggest using your sleepless time to get your priorities in order like possibly repairing inoperative locks so you dont have to kill anyone who probably has permission to come to your house....nice that you always have a knife available but you would be better to protect yourself with the basics so you arent required to go to extreme measures....

he apparently wasnt walking into any mans house...he was walking into your mothers house and i'm guessing as he has probably been intimate with her (sorry) he is welcome there by her and she doesnt expect her son to kill him when he comes over....

[jeffsmith]

Turning on the lights May have been a Good Option too or Using a Flashlight

A BIG part of Situational Awareness is Knowing your Environment

You Acted without knowing the Full nature of the situation or your target

You may have been Legally Defending your Home

But had you Killed your Mothers Boyfriend, it Wouldn't have been Right

[TheShadow]

With him dead and you In prison... Mom's all alone In the bad part of town.

Strengthen the security of your home and for goodness sakes be careful out there!

[r0rtiz]

I hope that you are able to take constructive criticism well because you are going to get a lot of it after you original post. I don’t want to beat a dead horse my friend, but a good deadbolt lock would solve a multitude of problems. In addition, you mentioned that if you had been in possession of a gun that the boyfriend would be dead now. That seems a tad cavalier. Perhaps it is an age thing, but shooting at a dark silhouette is young and dumb. This could potentially be a field day for the DA and a nightmare for you. Please don’t infer that I called you dumb. I am merely pointing out that as you mature you may find that experience and the comments of other forum members have taught you some valuable lessons.

I recommend that BEFORE you go out and purchase a gun that you strengthen you situational awareness, i.e. locking the doors/windows and identifying your target.

[aric]

...it was my mom's Boyfriend...who with a knife to his neck, was a bit stunned, and pretty freaked out...one slight slip and he'd of been my mom's recently decessed BF...I let him loose and he was a bit agitated at me, but tried to laugh it off a bit, which I would have NONE of it, if he thought HE was pissed he had NO idea how pissed I was that he walked into my house unannounced at three in the morning, mom's BF or not, he didn't LIVE there and had no right simply walking in, but in an effort to protect my life and my mother I could've easily killed him by acident, and then I would have been at fault...I went back to bed, the next morning my mom told him off for being upset that I almost killed him and for walking into our house at 3 in the morning, afterall it was his own fault for being stupid


.

Learn from your mistake and NEVER fail to identify your target again.

[fatcat]

I hope that you are able to take constructive criticism well because you are going to get a lot of it after you original post. I don’t want to beat a dead horse my friend, but a good deadbolt lock would solve a multitude of problems. In addition, you mentioned that if you had been in possession of a gun that the boyfriend would be dead now. That seems a tad cavalier. Perhaps it is an age thing, but shooting at a dark silhouette is young and dumb. This could potentially be a field day for the DA and a nightmare for you. Please don’t infer that I called you dumb. I am merely pointing out that as you mature you may find that experience and the comments of other forum members have taught you some valuable lessons.

I recommend that BEFORE you go out and purchase a gun that you strengthen you situational awareness, i.e. locking the doors/windows and identifying your target.

If not a good deadbolt at the very least a hook and chain safety lock. They are cheap and easy to install. They not much good against a BG intent on getting in but they will usually prompt a legally entering person to say "hello the chain is on, can someone let me in?" ......

And if a BG is going to break your chain it makes a heck of a lot of noise and gives you warning.

[Hopyard]

OP wrote: " if he thought HE was pissed he had NO idea how pissed I was that he walked into my house unannounced at three in the morning, mom's BF or not, he didn't LIVE there and had no right simply walking in,"

Hmmm. This is a strange scenario. The man does not live in your house. He came there apparently without your mom--to whom he is not married---at 3:00 A.M. uninvited, unexpected, no phone call, no nothing. Is that the situation?

Was there a sensible reason for him to be there at all?

Not saying what you did was right or wrong, but wondering why someone not your close relative (yet), with presumably no reason to be at your home, came there unannounced.

Was there a reason mom might have sent him to check up on you? Was there a reason she might have had to have been especially concerned about you that night?

Something in this story doesn't add up. The only thing I can relate it to is that when my elderly mom lived about a mile from us, I would use the cell phone to call her before I entered her apartment. I didn't want to startle her by walking in on her. I didn't want to just knock or ring the door bell as I was concerned that might alarm her.

I can not think of any reason other than some unspoken concern for your safety of why another person would show up at your place at 3:00 A.M. Are you the kind who doesn't bother to answer you phone? Do you use caller ID to ignore calls from mom? Not saying you are, just wondering out loud as to how this situation makes any sense whatsoever.

[pcon]

In addition, you mentioned that if you had been in possession of a gun that the boyfriend would be dead now. That seems a tad cavalier. Perhaps it is an age thing, but shooting at a dark silhouette is young and dumb.

I don't think it's an age thing, I'm 26 and wouldn't just shoot blindly (forgive the pun). Again, to the OP, I'm not calling YOU dumb, just that the action of shooting without identifying WHO you're shooting at IS dumb. I'd encourage you to think a little more about what appropriate actions would be in another situation like that. Please don't think I'm trying to chastise you, I just don't want to read a thread about you being in prison or in a court case for a "faulty" shooting.

Oh yeah, I will beat the dead horse, get a good lock

[ShadeDeciple]

as I already said about the lock, we moved, we are no longer in the house with a bad lock, we are in a new house, new neighborhood, new locks, ect.

REPLACEING the lock was not the issue...i guess I should've been more through in my explanition...

the man was my mom's BF but they had only been together for a week or so, I dunno how it works where some of you are from, but dating someone for a week does not give you the right to just walk into thier house at 3 a.m. he wasn't expected, he didn't call, and he didn't even bother to knock, to ME that's a HUGE no no. he knew the lock was messed up too, not broken completely, but he knew how to manipulate it to opening it according to how the handle was twisted and worked

all I'm saying is he shouldn't have walked in at 3 a.m.

Hopyard, I LIVE with my mom, thus it makes sence for him to show up, NOT at 3 a.m. but still...

Aric, I DIDN'T kill him, and I DID properly identify him, he was identified as a man entering my house in the dead of night without reason. by all means though, feel free yourself to take the time to properly shake hands and introduce yourself to a potiental BG before you take defencive action.

the simple act of confronting him was my only choice as all I had was a knife, if he had been an actual BG and Armed with a gun, without my imediete responce, I could've been shot dead. ESPICALLY if I had a light on or had attempted to better identify my target past the fact that he was in a place he clearly did not belong.

anyways, my mom broke up with him shortly after all this, apharently SHE was ignoring his calls, I'm guessing that's why he showed up, the man was a wierdo...

perhaps saying he'd be dead if I owned a gun is a bit of a strech, because when it all went down, I had no intent of even killing him with the knife what I mean by saying that is that, walking into my house at 3 a.m. IF I HAD OF BEEN ARMED with a gun, would have been potientally dangerous for him.

if a man walked into one of your houses at 3 a.m. and you owned a gun can you honestly say there wouldn't be at least SOME risk of him being shot? as in NO ONE needs to simply walk into somone else's house unannounced

[Rmac58]

If I was in the same situation, be would be wounded at best.
No excuse folks, for just entering someone else's dwelling unless this is a normal routine, sounds like it wasn't.
All people in a household NEED to be informed of potential guests arriving in the dead of night, unannounced, quietly, etc.
A cute unannounced slip into the bedroom could have ended in tears.

[HKinNY]

Hmmm. This is a strange scenario. The man does not live in your house. He came there apparently without your mom--to whom he is not married---at 3:00 A.M. uninvited, unexpected, no phone call, no nothing. Is that the situation?

Was there a sensible reason for him to be there at all?

.

Yea, In his mind he was looking for a booty call

Glad in worked out and good luck with the new home.
PS are they still together?

[theghostrider]

as I already said about the lock, we moved, we are no longer in the house with a bad lock, we are in a new house, new neighborhood, new locks, ect.

REPLACEING the lock was not the issue...i guess I should've been more through in my explanition...

the man was my mom's BF but they had only been together for a week or so, I dunno how it works where some of you are from, but dating someone for a week does not give you the right to just walk into thier house at 3 a.m. he wasn't expected, he didn't call, and he didn't even bother to knock, to ME that's a HUGE no no. he knew the lock was messed up too, not broken completely, but he knew how to manipulate it to opening it according to how the handle was twisted and worked

all I'm saying is he shouldn't have walked in at 3 a.m.

Hopyard, I LIVE with my mom, thus it makes sence for him to show up, NOT at 3 a.m. but still...

Aric, I DIDN'T kill him, and I DID properly identify him, he was identified as a man entering my house in the dead of night without reason. by all means though, feel free yourself to take the time to properly shake hands and introduce yourself to a potiental BG before you take defencive action.

the simple act of confronting him was my only choice as all I had was a knife, if he had been an actual BG and Armed with a gun, without my imediete responce, I could've been shot dead. ESPICALLY if I had a light on or had attempted to better identify my target past the fact that he was in a place he clearly did not belong.

anyways, my mom broke up with him shortly after all this, apharently SHE was ignoring his calls, I'm guessing that's why he showed up, the man was a wierdo...

perhaps saying he'd be dead if I owned a gun is a bit of a strech, because when it all went down, I had no intent of even killing him with the knife what I mean by saying that is that, walking into my house at 3 a.m. IF I HAD OF BEEN ARMED with a gun, would have been potientally dangerous for him.

if a man walked into one of your houses at 3 a.m. and you owned a gun can you honestly say there wouldn't be at least SOME risk of him being shot? as in NO ONE needs to simply walk into somone else's house unannounced

I really don’t see why you did anything wrong. I guess some people just have to criticize others in order to bolster their own insecurities.

Based on the OP, it was clear that this man (mom’s BF) was not welcome at the time he came in. I don’t know about anyone else here, but if a person is trying to break into my house at 0300, I’m not going to worry about identifying him any more than necessary to know that it’s an unauthorized person. Like ShadeDeciple said,

“…and I DID properly identify him, he was identified as a man entering my house in the dead of night without reason.”

I find it very dubious that the detractors would have given more latitude to a stranger breaking into their house at 0300. Granted, a firearm completely changes the dynamics of the incident.

I am also seeing something here that it appears that those who are so quick to criticize are missing. This guy was crossing a serious boundary, and both ShadeDeciple and his mother were enforcing that boundary. Most adults know that it is improper to just break into another person’s home in the dark of night unannounced (without permission), regardless of what relationship one may have with the resident. The fact that he did so (without permission) after only one week of dating, and after not having his phone calls returned exhibits a serious red flag.

Important notes from the OP:
This guy obviously did not have permission (given or implied) to break in at any time. This is demonstrated by the mother’s reaction. He should have known better.

The BF tried to laugh it off when confronted with his transgression. This is passive/aggressive. He knew he wasn’t wanted there, so he decided to break in the dark of night. When caught, and facing serious repercussions, he tried to make light of the fact that he was breaking in someone’s place at an inappropriate hour, knowing full well that it wasn’t acceptable behavior.

Based on the OP, we know that breaking in at 0300 was not okay.

Important notes from ShadeDeciple’s second post:
We now know that not only was this man unwanted and unwelcome in that home, but that he most certainly knew it. If I go out with a woman, and she no longer returns my phone calls after one week, I take the hint and stop pursuing her. Chances are that she isn’t interested, and is hopping I’ll take the hint (more like a bus being dropped on him), and stop calling. If she is still interested, then she needs to brush up on her social skills, and I’m not interested in helping her with that. I most certainly don’t go breaking into her house, let alone at 0300. Any man who would break into the house of a woman, who is ignoring his calls (especially after one week) has got problems, and shouldn’t be trusted. When he does it in the dark of night, I find it very suspicious, and under the circumstances, it most certainly brings his motives for the evening into question (these are the actions of someone who could quite possible be abusive).

I don’t know how it is where some of the detractors live, but where I live, if a person gets shot because he was breaking into another person’s home in the dark of night, unannounced, uninvited, and unwelcome, then it’s likely that the prosecutor won’t bring charges. Around here, lethal force is justifiable if a reasonable person would fear rape, death, or great bodily harm. When someone breaks into a home they are not supposed to be in, then it’s reasonable that they present a danger to the resident (granted, this situation is a little more complicated because of the busted lock, and with a gun, it might be wise to inform that person that they have the wrong house. ). When defending one’s home with a gun, there is the advantage of maintaining a distance, giving the resident more options and time to identify the intruder. With only a knife to defend himself, the original poster’s options are limited. He doesn’t want to announce himself to the BG thereby loosing his element of surprise. The original poster knows that he is about to go hands on with an unidentified threat, and he needs to maintain as much advantage as he can, while controlling both the situation, and the intruder. He has no idea who the intruder is, nor does he know the intruder’s capabilities.

I think ShadeDeciple did an outstanding job (save for not fixing the lock). He did what he needed to do, and exercised enough restraint to ID the intruder before it escalated.

I do take exception to the statement that, “…if I had had a gun at the time, the man WOULD be dead right now”. I honestly can’t say for certain that it would have been manslaughter. The guy does sound like a stalker, and his actions would put him in a “dangerous” category. OTOH, I think what might nail the original poster is that, “had he known who it was before shooting, he probably wouldn’t have shot.”

[theghostrider]

Yea, In his mind he was looking for a booty call

Glad in worked out and good luck with the new home.
PS are they still together?

You might read his second post. It doesn't sound anything like what you suggest.

[Eagleks]

I don't know, anyone around my door @ 3 a.m.... isn't going to be met with a kind response. I think the guy was an idiot to come 1) without contacting someone, and 2) obviously she wasn't expecting him at that point. Kind of stupid for anyone to do.