Laziest gun in the world

This is a discussion on Laziest gun in the world within the Defensive Rifles & Shotgun Discussion forums, part of the Related Topics category; Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 6 shells, and noticing that ...

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Thread: Laziest gun in the world

  1. #1
    Member Array Olduser's Avatar
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    Laziest gun in the world

    Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 6 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business.

    While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house.

    After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadn't rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn't killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn't even loaded itself.

    Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and it's the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world.

    Alright, well I'm off to check on my spoons. I hear they're making people fat.

    "The only thing I'm an expert about is my experience."

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    Member Array niks's Avatar
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    You just wrote the ad to counter the anti's with. Artwork and all.
    Funkybassplayer likes this.

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    Member Array Regoria75's Avatar
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    My Glock seems to be pretty lazy too. It's not living up to the hype that media is giving all these guns... I'm very disappointed.

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    Senior Member Array bklynboy's Avatar
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    They are notoriously lazy. I keep threatening mine that if they do not clean themselves, they won't get any ammo for dessert, but they still refuse to pick up their brass and clean their lead deposits.
    Olduser and sixgun like this.

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    Distinguished Member Array Arborigine's Avatar
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    My bullets are stupid. I'd like to send them away, but they are a bit hard to replace right now
    I don't always have nothing to say, but when I do, I post it on Facebook.

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    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arborigine View Post
    My bullets are stupid. I'd like to send them away, but they are a bit hard to replace right now
    Until they're placed into the oven, at which point the little buggers get a mind of their own.

    Though, I've always thought my DoubleTap 9mm JHP 124gr +P's were pretty smart.
    BigJon10125 likes this.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

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    It's still there because you left the brake on.
    Olduser and Jeanlouise like this.
    Retired USAF E-8. Remember: You're being watched!
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

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    Senior Member Array IAm_Not_Lost's Avatar
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    My guns are on unemployment, and haven't paid rent in months. They just sit there in their nice padded safe-house being unproductive all day long.
    "Brilliant. So now we got a huge guy theory, and a serial crusher theory. Top notch. What's your name?" - Paul Smecker

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    Senior Member Array NCSoxFan's Avatar
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    You must not have purchased it from one of those evil gun shows. I think that's the magical combination required to give these guns the ability to function independently the way the media claims.

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    I think it is an epidemic amongst guns - none seem to be willing to do anything without someone helping them along...

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    Distinguished Member Array Rcher's Avatar
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    I wonder what the mail man thought ... "holy crap, where's that social security check? I know its here somewhere".
    "Government is not the solution to our problem; government IS the problem". - Ronald Reagan 1981

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    VIP Member Array sixgun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bklynboy View Post
    They are notoriously lazy. I keep threatening mine that if they do not clean themselves, they won't get any ammo for dessert, but they still refuse to pick up their brass and clean their lead deposits.
    Ya mine are just like teenagers. All they want to do is sleep in the safe and do nothing. They are a real bear to get them up to do anything.

  14. #13
    Member Array jhogan2424's Avatar
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    I have an identical Stevens to yours. I know they are of the "cheaper" variety but I love it.

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    Member Array Kutz's Avatar
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    I'm glad Rosie didn't break in & get to your spoons.

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    That was the absolutely the funniest thing I've read lately, my wife almost fell on the floor laughing. Thanks for the laugh

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