My Significant Other Doesn't Want a Gun in the House

This is a discussion on My Significant Other Doesn't Want a Gun in the House within the General Firearm Discussion forums, part of the Related Topics category; Well, there is always that saying, "It is easier to get forgiveness than permission." I suppose you used that philosophy here. I'm curious what her ...

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  1. #16
    Senior Member Array adric22's Avatar
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    Well, there is always that saying, "It is easier to get forgiveness than permission." I suppose you used that philosophy here.

    I'm curious what her complaint is. I know some women are afraid of accidental discharges, children getting hold of the gun, etc. But some women are afraid their boyfriends/husbands might become violent someday when they are drunk and/or angry and use it on them. So I guess you need to figure out which the issue is.
    "Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." -Plato

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  3. #17
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    As others have suggested, talk it out with her and find out what her issue with guns is about. She may have no experience with them, and just needs a chance to find out about them. The other possibility is she has at some point had a tramatic experience involving guns. If it is the second of the 2 your fighting a very tough up hill battle.
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  4. #18
    VIP Member Array livewire's Avatar
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    I bet her major issue is that you bought it without talking to her. I just got in hot water with mine for buying a new gun too. It was my [counts...] 8th. It wasn't the gun she had a problem with... it was the MONEY without telling her...

  5. #19
    VIP Member Array Thunder71's Avatar
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    Some people just don't like guns, period - and nothing you say or do will change that.

  6. #20
    Distinguished Member Array Stubborn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bark'n View Post
    The time to get all this hammered out is now, before you get married. Personally, I would never get involved with a person who is anti-gun right from the start. Guns are such an important part of my life, my future wife would have to at least understand that and not be under any illusions that she could effect change on my behavior after she gets the ring on her finger. She'd be finding a quick trip to the divorce lawyer once I found out about that hidden agenda.

    ^^^^^^this^^^^^^

    I always found a trip to the range was a GREAT second or third date, you can learn a lot about them.
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  7. #21
    Member Array Andriss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by livewire9880 View Post
    I bet her major issue is that you bought it without talking to her. I just got in hot water with mine for buying a new gun too. It was my [counts...] 8th. It wasn't the gun she had a problem with... it was the MONEY without telling her...
    I agree with this. If my husband goes out and spends hundreds of dollars on anything and doesn't tell me, then we have an issue. You should have talked to her before you did it, and hopefully you'll remember to do that next time.

    My advice is don't take her to the range and have her shoot just your weapon. Let her get a feel for what she may like, because if she doesn't like the way your revolver feels she may never come around to the idea of having one for her own protection.

  8. #22
    VIP Member Array Thunder71's Avatar
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    If neither of you have guns to start with its kind of hard to leave someone because you all of a sudden bring one home.

  9. #23
    Distinguished Member Array mr.stuart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopyard View Post
    You have some decisions to make about what is truly important in your life.

    Ask her to be candid about what she is fearful of, and then see if you can compromise in some fashion. Maybe she would be willing to let you have it after you complete some mutually agreed on safety training? Maybe she would be willing to let you have it if you limited carry to specific situations and places? Maybe she is just afraid that you will somehow get in trouble and she wants to protect you? You need to TALK. Then decide.
    Good advice,talk then YOU decide what is important.Relationships always involve compromise,and I do that well,but I will not be ruled by anyone,you decide.
    Pain is the best teacher,but nobody wants to go to his class.


    When the past smothers the present, there is only desperation. When the future absorbs the present, life stands still. In either case a decision must be made because you only live now and you are only what you are now.

  10. #24
    VIP Member Array SpencerB's Avatar
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    Not much else can be said. You are the man, protect the house and talk to her.

  11. #25
    EdC
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    Quote Originally Posted by K9Buck View Post
    Thanks guys! I'm keeping the gun and she knows it. I just want to make her feel better about it. I'll sign her up for some lessons at a range.
    Ok, just to make sure, you've talked about this, right? You're not just going to tell her "Honey, I've signed you up for some lessons at the range", correct?
    JOHNSMITH likes this.

  12. #26
    Distinguished Member Array ArkhmAsylm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by makensmoke View Post
    My first wife was a "closet" anti.....she was aware I owned firearms when we dated and even went shooting with me. After we were married (on our honeymoon) she DEMANDED that all firearms be sold because they were "EVIL". All went downhill from there the 2A was the tip of the iceburg....found out that there were a number of big issues. Children, Jobs, where to live, why MY friends could hang out....ETC. Didn't last long.....better talk to her now instead of having the issues I did. Makes for a bad divorce.

    My current wife is a 2A supporter with firearms of her own and her CHL. Makes life smoother if you talk to each other before the "I DO"
    Boy, the first wife sounds...evil!
    "Historical examination of the right to bear arms, from English antecedents to the drafting of the Second Amendment, bears proof that the right to bear arms has consistently been, and should still be, construed as an individual right." -- U.S. District Judge Sam Cummings, Re: U.S. vs Emerson (1999)

  13. #27
    Member Array K9Buck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EdC View Post
    Ok, just to make sure, you've talked about this, right? You're not just going to tell her "Honey, I've signed you up for some lessons at the range", correct?
    No, I haven't discussed it any further with her. Yes, I'm going to surprise her with a trip to the range but not just yet. I'll let it sink in a bit first.

  14. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by MattInFla View Post
    Lots of comedians here today.

    Talk with her, and figure out what her opposition is based on, and work it out together.

    My wife was anti-gun when we met. Today, she has her own, carries, and shoots IDPA.

    Matt

    Matt, ^^^^^^^^you sound as if ^^^^^^^



    YOUR SHOCKED!!!!!!!


    Please explore this Make a choice website with her and let it do the explaining and rationalization for you.

    I will bet you, as long as she's not related to Diane Feinstein, Chuck Schumer, or Hillary dillary Clinton, this will give her a different perspective on firearms.

    If she is not a dyed-in-the-wool believer in the RTKABA it will at least perhaps quiet the argument somewhat.














    Never argue with idiots - they'll drag you down to their level then beat you with experience
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  15. #29
    Senior Member Array Inspector71's Avatar
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    Since I'm no longer married, I shouldn't comment. Relationships are not my strong suit. Good luck to you K9!!
    If you can read this, thank a teacher. Because it's in English, thank a vet

  16. #30
    VIP Member Array shockwave's Avatar
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    First of all...

    Now there are a lot of women who are totally irrational about the gun issue
    A big -1 for that. There are a lot of people who are opposed to gun ownership - including several conservative guys I know quite personally. They just don't think that private citizens should have firearms. So I don't see this as a "woman" issue, per se.

    Also, we have to allow that the reason is that she just doesn't want to live in a house that has guns in it. Arguing against that may be futile.

    It's a mistake - and a huge one - to believe that there's some logical chain of reasoning that could lead a person from wanting to live in a gun-free household to embracing the firearm lifestyle. After all, to an extent, ownership is an admission that the "worst" could happen. Some people don't want to admit that.

    So unless you're some kind of probable target, my advice would be to get rid of the gun because you did not secure prior agreement on its necessity. You made a serious choice on behalf of your SO without her consent, and that is uncool. And then there's the point Andriss makes above about unilateral cash expenditures, which is no small item either.
    "It may seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first."

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