My Significant Other Doesn't Want a Gun in the House - Page 5

My Significant Other Doesn't Want a Gun in the House

This is a discussion on My Significant Other Doesn't Want a Gun in the House within the General Firearm Discussion forums, part of the Related Topics category; Originally Posted by Steve666 Women are like guns... keep one around long enough and you’re going to want to shoot it! You haven't met the ...

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Thread: My Significant Other Doesn't Want a Gun in the House

  1. #61
    VIP Member Array gottabkiddin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steve666 View Post
    Women are like guns... keep one around long enough and you’re going to want to shoot it!
    You haven't met the right woman my friend...

    I love my guns, but I love my lady more. I've never tried it, but I bet it's very difficult and tad dangerous to cuddle with a shotgun.
    "He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." – Luke 22:36

    "If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so." – Thomas Jefferson


  2. #62
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    It's a process. Just start by explaining the need to defend home and family and that the gun can be safely stored, etc. This initial explanation can then be followed with more guns and ammo. Then a gun safe, followed by more guns and ammo. It worked for me!

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by madpinoy View Post
    I'm going through the same situation right now with my wife. 16 years ago when my first child was born, my wife begged me to sell all my handguns because she was worried about the children getting hurt or killed. After a long discussion and many arguments, I agreed to the terms. She agreed that when the children (2 boys, now 15 and 17) where old enough or out of the house, I can have my handguns back. I have read a lot of feedback regarding this issue and I know some people think I should have put my foot down and said NO WAY to my wife back then. After living without handgun for 16 years...I regret giving in to my wife's fear of guns. Fortunately, during those years...I never needed one, but looking back....those years where probably the most important times that I should have owned a handgun. Nights that I heared a bump in the night...I had nothing except my finger nails to defend my family if that was an intruder. Traveling during the many vacations we took as a family....felt vulnerable out there. I work at a place where we handle cash and sometimes I'm the only one closing at our property. I have forgoten the countless times that having a gun on my side would have given me some sort of hope if the **** ever hit the fan while at work. I missed not having a option to defend my self and my family.

    Fast forward,.... last year I decided to get my CCW even though I did not have a handgun. I told my wife my plans and she was ok with it, as long as I did not purchase a gun or have one at the house. A month after I recieved my CCW, I broke the promise I made 16 years ago and purchased a XD 9mm SC. Yes, I did not tell her. For almost a year I carried and stored this gun safely without my wife's knowledge until a week ago when she noticed the gun in side my waist band. She was furious to say the least. For days she did not want to talk about it and just stayed mad a me. Finally after several " I'm sorry honey" she was ready to talk. I said this time NOW WAY...I'm keeping the gun. I should have stood my ground 16 years ago, now I'm dealing with it again. She agreed that I probably needed a gun at work but not at home. I told her that I was going to take the boys soon to range and teach them gun safety and let them shoot the XD to satisfy their curiosity about guns, she was ok with that. As of today, that is where it stands, gun stays at work and when we travel it will be in on my side. I'm sure anyone out there who has been married knows what I mean by the word ..compromise. Our discussion if far from over, but for now this will work for me and for her. I know someday the XD will come home...along with the other's I plan to buy. After all , she said in one of our heated discussions, " you can have all the guns you want once the kids leave the house".
    Wow, sounds like a bad dream to me... I'm sorry, that is not compromise. I don't know what you call it, but that's messed up.
    mr.stuart and oneshot like this.
    -Bark'n
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    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

  4. #64
    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bark'n View Post
    Wow, sounds like a bad dream to me... I'm sorry, that is not compromise. I don't know what you call it, but that's messed up.
    I certainly agree with that!

    Once a viable compromise (one which is acceptable to both parties) is reached, both must be willing to accept the terms of the compromise as it was laid out originally. The problem here is the old enough/out of the house clause. You and I think they're "old enough," she apparently doesn't. And you breached the agreement by purchasing and carrying.

    It's time to re-negotiate... the world has changed (and not for the better) in 16 years. But you are negotiating from a bad position. You now have the onus of having to convince her just how much the world has changed, and why now is better than later.

    Good luck with that one.
    Bark'n likes this.
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

  5. #65
    Senior Member Array Inspector71's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by madpinoy View Post
    I'm going through the same situation right now with my wife. 16 years ago when my first child was born, my wife begged me to sell all my handguns because she was worried about the children getting hurt or killed. After a long discussion and many arguments, I agreed to the terms. She agreed that when the children (2 boys, now 15 and 17) where old enough or out of the house, I can have my handguns back. I have read a lot of feedback regarding this issue and I know some people think I should have put my foot down and said NO WAY to my wife back then. After living without handgun for 16 years...I regret giving in to my wife's fear of guns. Fortunately, during those years...I never needed one, but looking back....those years where probably the most important times that I should have owned a handgun. Nights that I heared a bump in the night...I had nothing except my finger nails to defend my family if that was an intruder. Traveling during the many vacations we took as a family....felt vulnerable out there. I work at a place where we handle cash and sometimes I'm the only one closing at our property. I have forgoten the countless times that having a gun on my side would have given me some sort of hope if the **** ever hit the fan while at work. I missed not having a option to defend my self and my family.

    Fast forward,.... last year I decided to get my CCW even though I did not have a handgun. I told my wife my plans and she was ok with it, as long as I did not purchase a gun or have one at the house. A month after I recieved my CCW, I broke the promise I made 16 years ago and purchased a XD 9mm SC. Yes, I did not tell her. For almost a year I carried and stored this gun safely without my wife's knowledge until a week ago when she noticed the gun in side my waist band. She was furious to say the least. For days she did not want to talk about it and just stayed mad a me. Finally after several " I'm sorry honey" she was ready to talk. I said this time NOW WAY...I'm keeping the gun. I should have stood my ground 16 years ago, now I'm dealing with it again. She agreed that I probably needed a gun at work but not at home. I told her that I was going to take the boys soon to range and teach them gun safety and let them shoot the XD to satisfy their curiosity about guns, she was ok with that. As of today, that is where it stands, gun stays at work and when we travel it will be in on my side. I'm sure anyone out there who has been married knows what I mean by the word ..compromise. Our discussion if far from over, but for now this will work for me and for her. I know someday the XD will come home...along with the other's I plan to buy. After all , she said in one of our heated discussions, " you can have all the guns you want once the kids leave the house".
    Wow! Just wow! That's a really sad story! I just hope your luck continues to hold out. Good luck to you big blue neighbor and welcome!!
    If you can read this, thank a teacher. Because it's in English, thank a vet

  6. #66
    Distinguished Member Array DefConGun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inspector71 View Post
    Wow! Just wow! That's a really sad story! I just hope your luck continues to hold out. Good luck to you big blue neighbor and welcome!!
    Big blue? Don't you mean Orange? He's in TN.

  7. #67
    Senior Member Array Inspector71's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DefConGun View Post
    Big blue? Don't you mean Orange? He's in TN.
    I guess I'm going to have to check my reading comprehension skills. I could have swore madpinoy listed his location as KY. My sincere apologies to all the Big Blue Nation
    If you can read this, thank a teacher. Because it's in English, thank a vet

  8. #68
    Distinguished Member Array DefConGun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inspector71 View Post
    I guess I'm going to have to check my reading comprehension skills. I could have swore madpinoy listed his location as KY. My sincere apologies to all the Big Blue Nation
    No, that's my mistake...I saw your profile listed as TN...I don't know what I was thinking...I got turned all around...my mistake...sorry.

  9. #69
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    Tell her that you are strongly anti-shoe and she must get your permission before every shoe purchase...the tune will change.
    mr.stuart and C hawk Glock like this.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

  10. #70
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    Tell her, "too bad".

  11. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by K9Buck View Post
    I recently bought my first gun for self-defense, a .38. I informed my fiance of my purchase. She was not happy with the news. Can any of you offer some suggestions as to what I might say to her to help her feel better about this? Thanks in advance.
    Take her to dinner...not McDonald's..a nice place with real cloth napkins. Over dinner, explain that while you initially bought the weapon for self defense, there is now something even more precious than your own life that you must defend, and that is her. Explain to her that it's not self defense, because self defense is selfish. It's our defense, because you would be devastated if anything ever happened and you know that it could have been prevented, if only you had a gun. Hope you two have a happy life together.
    "The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come." ~ Confucius

  12. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by K9Buck View Post
    I recently bought my first gun for self-defense, a .38. I informed my fiance of my purchase. She was not happy with the news. Can any of you offer some suggestions as to what I might say to her to help her feel better about this? Thanks in advance.
    This is potentially a larger problem than the issue at hand. It is common that couples marry with very little actual understanding of themselves and/or each other. 50% of first marriages fail, 65% of second marriages fail, 75% of third marriages fail. It won't happen to me? Wrong! You need to spend all the time it takes to discuss all the serious and important issues of life to determine each others attitudes and values. You can weave discussions of guns in where it fits. What does marriage mean to her? What are the obligations, responsibilities and perks associated with marriage? These and many other questions will begin to uncover her opinions, thoughts and attitudes so that you can begin to realistically assess how much potential she has as a possible mate? I would read everything I possibly could and even solicit advice from others who demonstrate good judgement. Marriage has such a dangerous downside potential that it needs to be entered into with wise and careful thinking. The number one issue that leads to divorce today is financial irresponsibility. Frequently churches sponsor guidance and counseling that can reveal issues that will likely cause marital friction and divorce, before marriage occurs. Don't be foolish. Seek good guidance and save yourself untold grief. A woman that becomes unhappy over issues during the engagement period, seldom improves later. Respectfully offered for constructive consideration and best wishes to you.

  13. #73
    Member Array Illusive Man's Avatar
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    I didn't give my wife any say so. I'm the man of my home and protection of my family is my responsibility. Once my wife calmed down, I reminded her that if she were to hear noise in the middle of the night that she would expect me to investigate. Any man in such a situaion is going to arm himself (golf club, knife, baseball bat, etc). I told her that I choose to arm myself with a gun. I keep it locked up andd observe all safety rules. She finally understood when a man was shot dead in the middle of the street a stone's throw from my back yard. Ask her what her fears are and try to overcome them. Just reember if you give in to her on this the you will spend the rest of your relationship with her bossing your around.
    Glock 22 Gen 4 w/CBST
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    A man, without force, is without the essential dignity of humanity. Human nature is so constituted, that it cannot honor a helpless man, although it can pity him; and even this it cannot do long, if the signs of power do not arise.

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