I recently bought my first gun for self-defense, a .38. I informed my fiance of my purchase. She was not happy with the news. Can any of you offer some suggestions as to what I might say to her to help her feel better about this? Thanks in advance.
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I recently bought my first gun for self-defense, a .38. I informed my fiance of my purchase. She was not happy with the news. Can any of you offer some suggestions as to what I might say to her to help her feel better about this? Thanks in advance.
Yeah,just how significant is she?
Easy...replace her. Seriously, if you're fighting this battle now...it will only get worse.
You're going to have to put your foot down. If you are the man, It is your responsibility to protect her and yourself.
You and she must decide if you're going to protect with a gun or a phone call to 911
Tell her its much smaller than the next one, but bigger than the one after that.
Tell her to get over it. You have a gun and thats the way its gonna be. Probably should have thought how she would react when you brought it home first.
Lots of comedians here today.
Talk with her, and figure out what her opposition is based on, and work it out together.
My wife was anti-gun when we met. Today, she has her own, carries, and shoots IDPA.
Matt
Some people you may never change until it's too late.My wife loves to shoot and has her own guns
If she won't budge,you ain't said I do yet,plenty of women that believe in the 2nd amendment and enjoy shooting
Agree with Matt, find out why she is anti then talk it out with her. Usually people who are anti are so because someone told them to be. Just use reason and logic and if that doesnt work let her shoot one.
Tell her it was really for her.
You have some decisions to make about what is truly important in your life.
Ask her to be candid about what she is fearful of, and then see if you can compromise in some fashion. Maybe she would be willing to let you have it after you complete some mutually agreed on safety training? Maybe she would be willing to let you have it if you limited carry to specific situations and places? Maybe she is just afraid that you will somehow get in trouble and she wants to protect you? You need to TALK. Then decide.
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Advice from this married guy: "I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you about my plans before I followed through on them." The rest would be about how you want to make sure that you have reasonable protection available for your home...yada, yada.
Seriously, you didn't talk with her about this before your purchase? The fact that you are planning on marrying her would imply that you have much in common. Communication should be near the top of that list. I'm not sure of the timing here as I see that you posted back in May when the purchase was made, but this is only coming up now?
Depending on your experience with this or any other firearms, you'd probably be wise to have plans for training on the use of & ongoing practice with that purchase. I'd also suggest that you take her to an intro to firearms safety class to get her up to speed on safe handling. Share with her the news stories out there about people being victimized in & outside of their homes. Find out about the average time for police response in your neighborhood & help her understand how this purchase may afford you a margin of hope that you'll be able to stop or dissuade a BG from acting on his impulse. If you haven't already done so, get a safe to lock it in when you aren't carrying it, particularly when you son is in the home.
(I can't believe that I'm giving relationship advice! :blink:)
Thanks guys! I'm keeping the gun and she knows it. I just want to make her feel better about it. I'll sign her up for some lessons at a range.
Well, Matt has about the only good option at this point. It would have been much easier if she would have been on the same page as you to start with.Quote:
Originally Posted by MattInFla
I was lucky that my wife was rational and understood the importance of guns before we met. She was raised around guns and had two guns of her own before we met.
Now there are a lot of women who are totally irrational about the gun issue and if that's the case with your S.O. then it's going to be a problem. For me, that would be a deal breaker and I would not marry a woman who was totally irrational about guns. Because I know eventually it would destroy the relationship at some point down the road. So if that's the case with yours, better to cut the ties now and find someone else.
Now a lot of women resist guns and don't like them through sheer ignorance regarding guns, and believing a lot of the myths which surround guns. The reason is (through no fault of their own), they have no direct knowledge or experience around guns. In other words, she's bought into all the anti-gun hysteria, but has no facts regarding the truth. But if she's a rational person with common sense, then she can easily be converted merely by sharing the truth and facts regarding the importance of guns in the defensive role, and debunking all the other myths she has chosen to accept.
Just be sure you find out if she's one of the types who believes they can go along with your wishes now, but once you're married, they'll be able to change you or put their foot down. That is a recipe for disaster, and it's not gender specific. A lot of males hold that notion too.
The time to get all this hammered out is now, before you get married. Personally, I would never get involved with a person who is anti-gun right from the start. Guns are such an important part of my life, my future wife would have to at least understand that and not be under any illusions that she could effect change on my behavior after she gets the ring on her finger. She'd be finding a quick trip to the divorce lawyer once I found out about that hidden agenda.
My first wife was a "closet" anti.....she was aware I owned firearms when we dated and even went shooting with me. After we were married (on our honeymoon) she DEMANDED that all firearms be sold because they were "EVIL". All went downhill from there the 2A was the tip of the iceburg....found out that there were a number of big issues. Children, Jobs, where to live, why MY friends could hang out....ETC. Didn't last long.....better talk to her now instead of having the issues I did. Makes for a bad divorce.
My current wife is a 2A supporter with firearms of her own and her CHL. Makes life smoother if you talk to each other before the "I DO"
Buy a safe. It will put her mind at ease.