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Horseplay-Did I overreact?

3K views 42 replies 38 participants last post by  grouse 
#1 ·
I would like your opinion about how I reacted to this situation.

I moved into my home about a year and a half ago, I live north of the Tampa Bay area. The homes are very close together. I live on a corner lot with only one neighbor on one side, I met my neighbor before I bought the home, and from that time on I thought I was lucky to have him as a neighbor.

While he and I were standing in my driveway, he was describing a story when he reached in his pocket and pulled out his hand gun, he then waved the gun back and forth while continuing to tell the story. When he was waving the gun back and forth. The gun was pointed at me several times. When he put the gun back in his pocket. I explained to him, quite calmly, that what he did was something I did not like, and not to do it ever again. He said he was sorry, but not to worry as there was no bullet chambered. I reiterated what I had said. He said sorry and okay.

Months later, I am returning from the store (Walmart) where I had purchased an air soft handgun (I plan on shooting the squirrels that torment my cats). I see my neighbor, we say hi and start talking about stuff. He goes into the side entrance of his garage which is mere feet, say, about 4 feet from the edge of my driveway and returns with a fishing rod and reel. I say that's a great rod and reel. It even has braided line on it. Everything is great. His son was visiting and he told me he had to go back inside to do something with the son. Just then his son comes out of the side door and smacks my neighbor on the arm with a cardboard tube from a paper towel roll. At least that's what I think it was, and he said come on dad lets go, and as he turned to walk deeper into the garage. My neighbor took the rod and made the motion of stabbing him in his but while saying this sure would hurt. In a very short moment the son returned to my view as he was still in the garage and my neighbor was in the doors threshold. The son has a handgun pointed at my neighbor's head (his father) and I am pretty much in the line of fire, looking down the barrel of his gun. It look like a Kel Tec PF 9. I quickly stepped to the side and out of immediate harms way. The sun made the joke that this sure would hurt. Since I could not see him any longer. I assumed he put the gun away and went back to whatever he was doing.

My memory is a little blurred. At this point because I started to get very angry. I remember something like my neighbor saying sorry and me saying that was totally messed up. Not only did he put you in danger. I was in danger as well. He went back inside and returned just a moment later apparently trying to apologize some more (this is where I feel I may have overreacted or not) , I told my neighbor. I did not want to discuss it any further, I said he's lucky I'm not calling the police and to please stop talking to me now, because I am very angry. And we've had a good relationship and I may say something that I shouldn't. I turned and walked into my home.

I just feel maybe I was a little hard on him for his son's actions. He has been out of town since this happened and I have not spoken with him. I'm not as angry as I was. Or let's say I am more calm now.

Did I overreact. Should I just told him, hey, do you mind not pointing a handgun at me?

Thank you for any comments and suggestions.
 
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#3 ·
It's hard to say. From what I've heard on your side, you certainly had reason to be upset. But to determine if you put it out there correctly only you know.

The fact that have doubts may be your answer.
 
#5 ·
I don't think you overreacted at all. I would have called the police anyways -- you never know what the son's intentions were. Plus, now it's personal because you have been put in harms way on more than one occasion by this family.

People who don't respect guns shouldn't own them.
 
#7 ·
no.....as much as it "sucks" to may have "hurt" a relationship.....something not right in that house. that child does have the respect of a firearm and neither does your neighbor....my children would NEVER EVER touch one of my firearms even if sitting on the table more less to play a joke with it!!

somethings not quite tightened down enough when that family was built. Time to just be neighborly and wave but stay away...going to read about that house someday in the news.........

I would stay away as best you can personally as he may be "sorry" when he had it out of his pocket but hes not teaching or knows good fireams practice...

If you want to really be freinds maybe you offer for you and he and his son to say take the hunter safety course together and try to educate him without angering him......either that or stay away!!

just my 2 cents. ive seen on a much more mellow scale children not having the respect as good as they should with firearms and When I look over and see the parent..I know exactly why....

Its why I don't hunt with a neighbor of mine down the street anymore.

or maybe the basic pistol course if none are hunters...but some..to try and teach him......maybe he was never taught right etiher.......
 
#29 ·
no.....as much as it "sucks" to may have "hurt" a relationship.....something not right in that house. that child doesn't have the respect of a firearm and neither does your neighbor....my children would NEVER EVER touch one of my firearms even if sitting on the table more less to play a joke with it!!

.... Time to just be neighborly and wave but stay away...going to read about that house someday in the news.........
+1 to that!
 
#8 ·
I would recommend a firearms safety class to them & let them know that once they have completed it you would be happy to associate with them again. Until then, even though you enjoy their company, you are having a very hard time feeling safe around them in light of recent events.
 
#31 ·
I agree with this. I'd explain nicely that until the father could demonstrate that he had gone through some sort of legitimate firearms safety training, I couldn't feel safe being near them. Especially since the kid pulled one out, and the father was waving one around.
 
#10 ·
Since it seems like you can communicate with them,you may need to get both father and son together and go over firearm safety,go on the internet and dig up stories where people were killed with "unloaded guns" and in some cases the shooters were given prison terms,also reiterate the fact that you never point the muzzle of a gun at anything you don't want to destroy,It sounds to me like they take firearm safety way to casual.
 
#11 ·
Two immature jerks; father and son. Take them for what they are. If you want to be friends expect stupid stuff.

What they do isn't right of course, but I'd rather have neighbors who joke around than ones who want to fight about everything.

Ratchet it back and just try to stay cool around them and fergetaboutit.

This reminds me of an incident where my wife's friend's husband, a retired Marine, came up on me from behind, grabbed me and demanded my wallet; of course he shoved his laughing face in mine quickly enough to prevent a calamity. Some folks just have odd ideas about what's funny.

And remember the rules of stupid. Bad things happen when you hang out with stupid people.
 
#17 ·
I honestly don't think you overreacted purly by what you have written. As for what you should do from here well I would stay away for at least a while.
 
#20 · (Edited)
This in in response to "Aiko"
The son is probably in his mid-to-late 20s. He owns his own small business.
It wouldn't matter if he was the Steve Jobs number one apprentice.

There are 4 simple rules to follow when owning/touching a firearm. Not that difficult.

Your choice. Either avoid them until one kills the other off in "Horseplay", or take it upon yourself to correct the dysfunction and educate them. If they start back talking about how safe they are with guns, and know what they are doing, then say your goodbyes, and go home.
 
#21 ·
Sounds like a dangerous household. If you value the friendship, maybe figure out some way to treat the guy to some firearms training. Pay for it yourself, say you won it in a lottery and can bring a friend and it won't cost him anything. Seeing as how you have to live next to the guy, it might be worth going to some effort that allows you to both forgive the guy AND heighten safety awareness in that household. (And after hearing some pointers from an authoritative third party, perhaps he would work on his son.) Just a thought.
 
#23 ·
My son (13) has medium access to some firearms in my home. In the event of a home invasion and I wasn't there to protect him I'd want him to have a chance to defend himself. Now if he were to ever come outside with one without my permission and especially point it towards another person he'd never handle one of my guns again. Not to mention be able to sit for a while.
 
#25 ·
A guy had just finished cleaning his gun, his wife walked into the house thru the side door and into the kitchen with groceries she had boughten. Husband, points gun at her (remember he just cleaned it) and says, if she was a BG he would be able to shoot her .... pulls the trigger.....

there was a round in the chamber, and he killed his wife..... a shot to the head.

You should take it VERY SERIOUSLY ! ! ! !
 
#26 ·
The next time you see him tell him why you think you may have overreacted, tell him you really care about him, his family and the safety of your family. Tell him you don't want to go to any funerals. Further contact with him in my opinion would be depending upon his reaction and willingness to follow through with your suggestions and concerns.
 
#27 ·
You reacted much better than I would have.

About a year ago, I was in a gun store in South Orlando and was talking with the owner about our favorite topic: Guns.
There were two "non-English" speaking customers taking a look at a new Glock 22. Both individuals were the type you just wanna get away from....loud, and brazen, and jabbering in a foreign language. Out of the corner of my eye I realize that one of the guys is sighting in the Glock on my back. I turned and angrily yelled for the man to quit pointing the gun at me. Obviously he understood English, because he told me to go F myself. I then explained to the store owner to request the gentleman quit sighting the Glock in on my back.....unless he wanted me to sight MY GLOCK IN ON HIS FACE....and mine was loaded. I turned and looked at the guy with the G22 and he slammed the gun down on the counter and huffed out of the store. The store owner apologized for the incident. I have not returned.....nor will I. This store seems to specialize in customers with absolutely no gun handling skills or gun safety knowledge. Good place to get shot.
 
#28 ·
You know what ...... I just thought of something really good you should tell your neighbor.....

I would talk to him about safety and then probably let him know I carry, and then ask how he would feel if I thought his son was going to kill him, so I drew my gun and shot his son. See if he still thinks it funny. Let him know, playing with guns, is not a joke... it can get someone dead.

You would have been legally justified if you believed his son was going to shoot him.
 
#30 ·
Considering there is no such thing as an unloaded gun and the OP was downrange of guns at multiple points in the story, I think anything short of drawing was likely an under reaction.

The son is 21, that's old enough to purchase and carry a handgun in every state that allows it; better gun safety is mandatory at any age, and if he can't handle it responsibly then he should not touch it and have someone responsible come pick it up and lock it away in a safe for him. Unfortunately when the father exhibited horrid gun safety earlier I think we got the tip that his complacency about handling deadly weapons was passed onto his son, so I don't expect that this is something that'll be corrected by them without outside help, be it getting training, or arrested or shot or an ND (which is a matter of when not if with them). Keep your distance, do the minimum needed to be neighborly, and given what you witnessed a phone call to the police is not unreasonable, especially when they sound careless enough to tell the responding officer, yeah he did it but its ok it was unloaded.
 
#33 ·
You did not overreact. Unfortunately, they are neighbors, but I disagree with the "friendly neighbor approach" regarding education, etc.

The son is 20 years old and points guns at people. Father waives a gun around and it's ok because it's "not loaded." Think on that awhile. They are very dangerous and irresponsible people, and education isn't going to help. It's not a knowledge problem, it's a moral/mental health problem, IMHO.

Be nice, polite and "neighbourly" but stay the hell away from them as much as you can. Another poster said that something like there's "something not tightened down in that family." Well put.
 
#34 ·
Well, what can I say? I think I've mentioned this before, but I hang around a variety of friends and acquaintances who have guns and most of them even have CHLs. My experience is that most of them are considerably more reckless with their firearms than I am. Whenever they are clowning around, I just make it known that I don't find it acceptable, even if it makes me a spoil sport. Now, when i say clowning around, none of my friends would ever do anything as ridiculous as what was described here (pointing a real firearm at somebody's head as a joke) they still do things not so safe. However, in my opinion it is better to try to be a good example than it is to disown them because of it. The same may be true with your neighbor. If you never speak to him again, how will you have an opportunity to help him better understand gun safety?
 
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