It's Time to Face Facts, My Friend
At some point I think we all have to just face certain facts about our lives.
I came to terms a long time ago with the fact that I was not going to play major league baseball (that ugly realization began to set in when I was cut from the J.V.). Ditto with playing in the NFL, but it looked for a while I might at least get in some college playing time. My first marriage wasn't going to work out (for reasons that are mostly irrelevant here).
All facts. Not good, necessarily, but not necessarily bad, either. Just the way things were. Sources of great anguish at the time, some of them.
Now I have to face the fact that I am, like you sound you might be, a gun nut.
I have 12 Mosin-Nagants and roughly 11,000 rounds of ammunition for them in the back room of my house.
And two months ago, instead of deciding between which of the two pistols (Springfield XD45 and Kahr P45) I was considering, I just up and bought both. My (current) wife, whom I cherish for all sorts of reasons, just doesn't seem to care, either.
I had no reason to buy the guns. Up to now I have at least been minimally able to rationalize gun purchases. "Need one for this" "Need one for that".
Example: I recently "needed" for "truck guns"- a 10mm Witness and another Mosin. Witness because 10mm rounds have good barrier penetration records, and I might not be able to whip out my carry piece from its IWB or Smart Carry in time- it's a .45, and they don't have quite as stellar a record on barrier penetration. The Mosin 'cause if you can get to rifle in a gun fight, by all means you should. Both cheap, too. Not out a lot if the Toyota Power Machine falls into a sinkhole or something.
No more of that kind of shullbit rationalizing. Already had a carry piece (the Kahr P45 was being considered as a "really light, thin, easy to conceal carry piece"). Like I "needed" one of those in addition to my S&W 1911 sc (with its Wilson Combat Slim Line grips) because the Kahr was just a little lighter and smaller.
Already had a nightstand piece (the XD45 was under consideration as a high cap, tac light mountable nightstand gun). Held more rounds than my Sig GSR which rested by the bed, tac light installed. (along with some aftermarket grips to accommodate my girly-sized hands).
The rationalizing is just rationalizing.
I just liked the freakin' guns and wanted them. I acknowledge it. I admit it. Is this "rock bottom"?
Am I at the first step?
If so, I hope it is NOT the first step to "recovery".....