Convincing Wife to Carry or...
This is a discussion on Convincing Wife to Carry or... within the General Firearm Discussion forums, part of the Related Topics category; Is a tough subject; how do you make someone ready for violence that has never experienced it or it's not part of their everyday life. ...
August 18th, 2012 05:48 PM
Is a tough subject; how do you make someone ready for violence that has never experienced it or it's not part of their everyday life. I don't think you can, remembers the old saying "necessity is the mother of invention". This is no different, if she feels safe in her world she will not change. do what I do and that is constantly bring "up what if's” when you see something wither it be on the news or in real life; it will turn the tables and she will see something different but you need to give her time... remember "men are hunters and woman are gathers" from the book... men are from mars, woman are from Venus
August 18th, 2012 05:48 PM
August 18th, 2012 06:40 PM
Thanks for all the replies appreciate it.
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August 18th, 2012 06:55 PM
My wife and I got our permits at the same time. She carries a Walther PK380, but not as often as I'd like her to. You can't make her see things your way. I understand the burden you feel to protect her, as this is something I often wrestle with myself. It would be so much easier if she would just take her gun with her whenever she leaves the house, but there's always an excuse. It pokes her in the side, she has the babies with her, it's too hot, she wants to lose weight first blah blah blah... I just hope she has it with her if something ever happens. Some women seem to be more comfortable with pepper spray or tasers.
August 18th, 2012 07:05 PM
That is an uphill battle but mostly it has to come from her. You can only try to convince somebody so much.
"Was there no end to the conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker?"
Revolvers, “more elegant weapons for a more civilized age.”
August 18th, 2012 08:03 PM
don't lose hope. over a 30-year span, my wife went from, "I don't like guns", to, "you can get one if you want", to, "do you know a good class i could take?" to, "do you have a gun i could borrow?" along the way, she also went from my wife, to my ex-wife, to my girlfriend. it's a long, ultimately happy story that's irrelevent to this discussion.
in her first class, and first time shooting, every group from 7-8 guns, from .22 to .45 was 1.5" to 2" except when she was shooting full power .357 Magnum. then her groups opened up to perhaps 3". yes, this was only at 12 feet, but i was impressed. because i knew the instructor, i was allowed to sit in on the range session.
she has since found another woman colleague to shoot with, and she has my loaded Colt Detective Special in a fast access box in her home. she has talked about getting her CPL, but has not yet done so. i remind her about this from time to time.
August 18th, 2012 08:20 PM
My wife is all for carrying. She only wants the time to take the class and some range time with her gun. While range time is not required in Virginia she just feels better getting as much range time as possible.
August 18th, 2012 08:27 PM
Tough spot. You can only protect her when you are there and it is hard to feel like she isn't willing to protect herself. It probably isn't really that way, but from my experience with my wife I understand. She does not like guns but now accepts that I carry. It was a long hard road just to get to that point. Be positive, do not try to scare her into it. My wife, and other ladies have said that doesn't work, and actually seems to have the opposite effect.
Lead by example and when she sees that it is not as scary or dangerous as she thinks maybe she will change her mind. I pray for my wife to reconsider getting hers, but it is a baby step process. Good luck, stay safe.
"Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt" ~ Mark Twain
August 18th, 2012 08:52 PM
I agree with others - and IMO nagging or badgering about it may make her even less likely to consider it.
I never had a problem with other people having guns, I just did not want any in my house. When I met my husband, he was OK with it, he'd had a gun in the past but didn't at that time over the next 14 years that was fine. I'm a bit of a news junkie so I know that we don't live in a very nice world, but there's always that 'it won't happen to me' or 'call 911' thought and quite honestly even though I was once grabbed on the street in college, I fought him off quite successfully with just a little thing of mace and shoving. Heck, my fil even had to defend himself and his wife with lethal force and I'd heard the story many times but there was still that 'it happens to other people" or 'it was after a natural disaster and therefore a different situation' thought. It wasn't until last year when someone tried to get in MY door while I was home that I realized I needed a better tool to protect myself and my kids. It hit home then, finally. I was shocked to find I loved going to the range and enjoy shooting. It's not a scary thing to me anymore. What's hilarious is now I have my permit and carry daily, my husband does not. I have become very interested and love to read about different makes and models, when someone tries to talk guns with my husband he says "you need to talk to my wife, I don't know what you're talking about" LOL
My advice is not to pressure her. Maybe ask her why she's opposed to the idea and really listen to her feelings about it. Try and get her to the range - not with 'I want you to buy one' or 'I want you to carry' - but simply 'I'd feel more comfortable if you learned how to safely handle it since it's in our home'. Maybe she'll surprise herself and you and like it. Even if she doesn't, don't pressure her about it. Take her to dinner afterwards either way. I'm guessing you knew she wasn't a gun person when you married her so you may have to accept that she's not going to come around or if she does it will be on her terms when she's ready.
August 18th, 2012 11:00 PM
Originally Posted by Shiphted
Best of luck to you, on convincing her to carry. But, you do realize, a .380 or 9mm probably isnt going to do much of anything to protect against bears and moose. If you really a good shot you might stop a wolf after several well placed shots. To reialbly stop bears and moose require guns like 500 s&w, or 454 casul, large fast really hard hitting cartridges and great shot placement. Sure if I lived in alaska Id walk around with one strapped on my hip, being a die hard outdoorsman and all. But they are not pleasant guns to go fire at the range, and thats coming from a man sized man, not a woman. However, I do agree that a .380 or 9mm is a whole lot better than being unarmed and they would stop a mob beating very fast most likely.
Im currently trying to get my wife to carry, it is going pretty good. She is a very good shot with her. 380 and now enjoys shooting 1911's and is ready to take her class. I need to find her a 9mm she likes. We will see how much she actually carries. When we got together, she had only shot a .222 rifle. Over the years ive got her shooting pistols, rifles, shotguns and turned her into an avid deer hunter. She started with a 30/06 and now thinks my 300 mag belongs to her practically. So it can be done. Baby steps is my advice. If you know a way to turn my wife into a hardcore waterfowler like me I'd appreciate that advice. Shes not a fan of cold weather, or waking up at 4:30 am.
August 18th, 2012 11:28 PM
let her read this ;Details reveal murdered college student tried desperately to fend off attacker
Details reveal murdered college student tried desperately to fend off attacker | Fox News
August 18th, 2012 11:43 PM
Well for hiking I'd get her a 44 magnum that would otherwise stay on the safe. For personal carry I'd let he try multiple guns but I think she would like the m&p.
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August 19th, 2012 06:23 AM
I adopted a different teaching approach to appeal to female students. It is as much an art as science. They learn differently, and with the right approach make more conscientious students than many men. Look for a class that is tailored for women and encourages learning through discussion rather than relying on statistics and show-and-tell lectures. Women trust each other, feed off each other, and are more relaxed in their own company than in a male dominated enviornment. An out of town trip with dinner and music after class will enhance the experience.
It has been my observation that husbands and boyfriends frequently lack the credibility and teaching techniques to suceed with their loved one on this subject and do more harm than good. The best thing I ever did for my wife was to step aside and let another hand picked instructor have a dance.
August 19th, 2012 07:31 AM
I went through this with my wife recently and am happy to say she just completed her PTC class 2 weeks ago and it was all her idea. In my experience, you can't nag or even tell her why she should carry, all that needs to come from her. I would say the best thing you can do is just start taking her shooting just to spend some time together having fun and put no further expectations on it. Expose her to guns as much as you can without putting any pressure on her whatsoever. If you have a chance to change her mind, that will probably yield the best results, at least it did in my experience.
August 19th, 2012 08:37 AM
It took me 25 years to get my wife to make my lunch so I could just throw it in the cooler at 4am when I left for work. And it took 12 years to convince her to return to work! I'm making progress! I had her convinced at one time to at least have a gun nearby at home so if she needed it she'd have it. But none of my guns made her happy. So due to lack of money we did not go there.
These are a few things that I've learned over the last 27 years of marriage.
1. If I tell her, it ain't gonna happen!
2. I can't teach her anything. She learned motorcycle riding at a school. Even though I've been riding for 35 years.
3. My idea of patience and hers are two very different things.
I wish you luck in convincing your wife. They are all different. So maybe your luck will be better than mine!
August 19th, 2012 09:30 AM
Alaska is a very dangerous place for a female as indicated by the homicide rate against them.
They are THIRD highest in the nation, only behind N. Dakota and Nebraska.
Homicide victims by sex statistics - states compared - StateMaster Crime
Rank States Amount
# 1 North Dakota: 60 %
Crime in North Dakota
# 2 Nebraska: 57.1 %
Crime in Nebraska
# 3 Alaska: 55.9 %
Crime in Alaska
# 4 Montana: 50 %
Crime in Montana
# 5 Vermont: 46.2 %
Crime in Vermont
# 6 Maine: 42.9 %
Crime in Maine
# 7 Oregon: 42.4 %
Crime in Oregon
# 8 Wyoming: 40 %
Crime in Wyoming
# 9 Iowa: 39.1 %
Crime in Iowa
# 10 Kansas: 37.9 %
Crime in Kansas
DEFINITION: Percent of homecide victims by sex - female
SOURCE: Bureau of Justice Statistics
There are the top TEN..........
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.
Washington didn't use his freedom of speech to defeat the British, He shot them!
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." -- Ernest Benn
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