Am I being Unreasonable - Page 2

Am I being Unreasonable

This is a discussion on Am I being Unreasonable within the General Firearm Discussion forums, part of the Related Topics category; Where you made the mistake is asking for permission...it would have been much better to have asked for forgiveness! Oh yeah...I almost forgot...grovel and pout. ...

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  1. #16
    Ex Member Array lizjimbo's Avatar
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    Where you made the mistake is asking for permission...it would have been much better to have asked for forgiveness! Oh yeah...I almost forgot...grovel and pout. It works for me! Make her think that you want to get it for her too!


  2. #17
    Senior Member Array GeorgiaDawg's Avatar
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    If she's an anti, I'm not sure there's a good argument you can make with her that she'll understand and appreciate. Clearly the "..because I want one" argument is out of the question. It seems that the issue isn't about funds or buying things you don't need; it's about what you want to buy being in conflict with her emotional objections. Until she gets past that, I'm sure you'll have a hard time justifying any additional firearms.

    Still, if she is someone who can be reasoned with, you'll have to show her that each firearm you have or want to have has utility. The fact that you want one isn't going to be enough; you have to prove that it serves a positive purpose in your household. In this case, the AR will have to have a purpose that is beneficial and can't be filled with your current arsenal. The XD is good for self defense, but for home defense, the pistol is meant to get you to your real gun: a shotgun or SBR (the AR).

    The .22 and the 30-30 are not acceptable for home defense. The .22 doesn't pack enough punch and the 30-30 won't get several shots on target quickly and will have way too much over penetration. Plus, a full-sized rifle may not be maneuverable enough inside the home. A SBR like an AR will provide enough stopping power, accuracy, and maneuverablity to serve the purposes of home defense that you cannot get from your pistol and other rifles. Plus, they allow you to attach a flashlight and/or laser system which can be very beneficial for clearing your house at night, and you won't need an extra hand to operate it that isn't already on the rifle.

    I hope you can convince her. Good luck!
    "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." - Ephesians 2:8-9

    “The purpose of the law is not to prevent a future offense, but to punish the one actually committed” - Ayn Rand

  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeorgiaDawg View Post

    The .22 and the 30-30 are not acceptable for home defense.
    Perhaps, but if he angers his wife there might be no home to protect. Now look at the odds.
    The odd of him needing that AR in a real life HD situation v the 30-30 or 22 magnum is
    close to zero. The odds him sleeping on the couch if buys the AR against his wife's
    wishes are nearly 100%. See, it is all about risk benefit analysis.
    If the Union is once severed, the line of separation will grow wider and wider, and the controversies which are now debated and settled in the halls of legislation will then be tried in fields of battle and determined by the sword.
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  4. #19
    Senior Member Array DaGunny's Avatar
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    Since you've said it's not about the money, it has to be a philosophical difference. From what you've told us, you will probably never be able to get her "blessing" to buy an AR. There's an old saying: "It's easier to get forgiveness, than gain permission." I ain't sayin'... I'm just sayin'
    pittypat21 likes this.
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  5. #20
    Ex Member Array ArmyMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by txron View Post
    OK, back story, I have 3 firearms. 22 lr rifle, 30/30 Marlin and a XD 9 service pistol. 22 lr for plinking and SHTF. Marlin 30/30 for hunting and SHTF, 9mm XD for EDC, home protection and SHTF. Been think lately of getting the "evel black gun" AR. Been looking around and reading advice here on this forum for a entry level AR platform. Nothing fancy, just a solid reliable AR. Now, I am not looking for advice on which AR to buy. I will do that later. I need to come up with a good argument for my wife to justify the purchase. She is very anti and says I have enough guns. Before you go and "man up" on me, we have been happily married for 17 yrs. I am the "bread winner" and she is a stay at home mom, but she is the CFO of the household. I am everything else. That was the deal when we got married. She has been supportive of my wants in the past, but I don't know if purchasing an AR will fly with her. We have a senior in HS and I have to think about her college and a 13 yr old in jr high needing her things as well. Just the daily finances of providing for my family is stressfull enough.

    I have breeched the discussion about purchasing a new gun, but she has laughed it off. I have mentioned getting a AR so I can protect the family better in all situations, but she came back and said "I've seen you shoot before with your other guns, we don't need another gun for protection. You hit everything that you aim at." I will try the SHTF scenario, the family protection scenario, the training of my kids to shoot scenario etc.., but the real fact is that I just want one. Looking for advice on how to justify the purchase, or am I being spoiled and should just be happy with what I have.
    If your household budget gave each of you a 'slush fund', spending money you can just blow and not be accountable to anyone for, then you could buy an AR from your slush-fund just as she could go to the salon and get a massage. This would side-step the spending authorization request entirely.

    And level with her: you don't need an AR 'for protection', you just want a toy.

    It's ok to just want another toy, txron. Every guy has toys. Some buy expensive entertainment systems, cars, 4-wheelers, model trains or RC cars/aircraft, or any number of things. You happen to like firearms. It's ok to just want a toy, it's ok to say it, ad she'll respect you a touch more for not trying to hid behind 'self-defense'.
    discoboxer likes this.

  6. #21
    VIP Member Array BenGoodLuck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Double0Seven View Post
    I must be in the minority when it comes to topics such as this. My wife allows me the freedom and opportunity to buy what I want without asking her. With all due respect we will have a discussion about it, but the choice is up to me. I have indulged her in the past with watches and purses which helps when I buy something I want. You could try this approach with her, see if you can find out what she has been wanting lately and buy it for her.
    If a couple has a mutually respectful relationship, each person shouldn't have to ask permission to buy something. I think the best approach is for each person to be thinking of buying the other person things. Then both will have all the stuff they could possibly want!
    Ben

    Cogito, ergo armatum sum. I think, therefore I am armed. (Don Mann, The Modern Day Gunslinger; the ultimate handgun training manual)


  7. #22
    Senior Member Array GeorgiaDawg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopyard View Post
    Perhaps, but if he angers his wife there might be no home to protect. Now look at the odds.
    The odd of him needing that AR in a real life HD situation v the 30-30 or 22 magnum is
    close to zero. The odds him sleeping on the couch if buys the AR against his wife's
    wishes are nearly 100%. See, it is all about risk benefit analysis.
    I agree with you completely. It just sounds like his wife needs a tangible argument for why he should get the AR and I was just trying to give him some help. I certainly would not argue that he should ignore his wife and get one anyway or try to browbeat her into submission. I believe it's important for a marriage to have as much unity and mutal respect as possible, and he's already got the advantage of having some firearms, including a pistol that will be effective in a tight situation. Hopefully she'll see reason and hop on board the AR train without causing strain or injury to the relationship.

    I'm just glad my wife is fully accepting of my firearm enthusiasm
    "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." - Ephesians 2:8-9

    “The purpose of the law is not to prevent a future offense, but to punish the one actually committed” - Ayn Rand

  8. #23
    Senior Member Array txron's Avatar
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    Thanks Everyone

    Lots of advice here. Some pertinent and insightful and some would get me on the couch. At the end of the day, I could just say "Hey, this is what I want and I am going to get it" and go and get it, but I don't want to do that. She would accept my decision since she knows I rarely get anything for myself. Even my Christmas presents are for the both of us. I want her to accept my decision without reservation. I do have my "hobbies" with shooting being one of them. I think the best bet is to slowly use several points made here. Use them in a sound and rational discussion and slowly wear her down over time. I do have a slush fund, but I find myself financing my daughters activities so saving up over time wouldn't work very well. They know I have long arms and short pockets. I guess I spoil my wife and daughters since they always have more cash on hand then I do.

    If that doesn't work, then I will throw myself to the ground and throw a temper tatrum.
    GeorgiaDawg likes this.
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  9. #24
    Ex Member Array ArmyMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by txron View Post
    Thanks Everyone

    Lots of advice here. Some pertinent and insightful and some would get me on the couch. At the end of the day, I could just say "Hey, this is what I want and I am going to get it" and go and get it, but I don't want to do that. She would accept my decision since she knows I rarely get anything for myself. Even my Christmas presents are for the both of us. I want her to accept my decision without reservation. I do have my "hobbies" with shooting being one of them. I think the best bet is to slowly use several points made here. Use them in a sound and rational discussion and slowly wear her down over time. I do have a slush fund, but I find myself financing my daughters activities so saving up over time wouldn't work very well. They know I have long arms and short pockets. I guess I spoil my wife and daughters since they always have more cash on hand then I do.

    If that doesn't work, then I will throw myself to the ground and throw a temper tatrum.
    Just, for the love of God, don't be like that other guy and ever, ever dry fire during a drill (seriously that's such a stupid thing to do). Even if an ND happened whle no one was home, that would be the end of your marriage...or at least your gun collection.

  10. #25
    Senior Member Array RKflorida's Avatar
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    You are asking the wrong question. The proper question is "Is my wife being unreasonable in curtailing unnecessary spending?" My question is why you are not in agreement with her.

    Do you disagree with your wife's desire to ensure money for your kids education? If not, put a lid on your lust for another gun when what you have is just fine. BTW, you are not justifying the spending, you are rationalizing the spending.

  11. #26
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    The wife of one of my friends has been spending a lot of time watching Fox News. He came home from work a couple of weeks ago and she told him they needed more guns. A couple of days later, she told him they needed an AR. Perhaps you need to watch TV together...

  12. #27
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    Build it up from parts, this will spread out the cost and cut down the wife agro
    GeorgiaDawg and pittypat21 like this.
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  13. #28
    Member Array keboostman's Avatar
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    I am going to be a minority here. I think you are unreasonable if your wife is an anti. My thought is to tell the wife that you will get rid of the xxxx gun to get an AR so that your net number remains the same. If you can't decide what the xxxx is, then you should do without an AR. Having marital peace is more important than getting any AR.

  14. #29
    Distinguished Member Array Chaplain Scott's Avatar
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    First off, you can never have enough guns .

    Seriously, though, here are a couple of other thoughts--the AR makes good tactical sense--ammo is not to expensive, and they are fun as heck to shoot.

    Don't buy one, buy 4 or 5. One for you, one for investment sake (potential resale later) and one each for your two (?) daughters. When they are out of the house, who then is going to protect them?????

    Take them together on a "date" to your local Police Dept. and have one of the homocide detectives talk to them about what he has seen done to young women, and then take them to the range and teach them how to shoot and defend themselves. Then buy an appopriate pistol for each one as well as the AR, for when they actually move out on their own. Teach them about Situational Awareness, get them the class or whatever needed for a concealed carry permit. If your wife objects to this, take her with you to visit the homocide detective. He probably has a few forensic pictures that are worth more than 10,000 words about teaching and equipping your daughters to protect themselves.
    GeorgiaDawg likes this.
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  15. #30
    Senior Member Array Dennis1209's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crowman View Post
    Tough call and is there really a "right" answer..... I guess you could try a young child tactic on her...... Keep bugging and bugging her until you wear her down and she gives in due to not wanting to hear it anymore....
    And to add to the above... Jump up and down real fast and say please, please, please until she's had enough and relents!

    That should work, however... If all else fails, you can always resort to pouting! Best practice is to have lower lip cover upper lip and act real sad. Works for me :-)
    pittypat21 likes this.
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