Defensive Carry banner

"Why do you need a gun if you don't want to kill?"

8K views 92 replies 72 participants last post by  Eagleks 
#1 ·
After the Sandy Hook tragedy I had a small falling out with a couple anti-gun people in my family including my mother. Before Sandy Hook my mom didn't seem to have a problem with me owning guns and her only concern seemed to be me having a safe to properly lock them up and store them in. Well, poorly timed, she found out shortly after sandy hook that my fiancé bought me an AR-15 for Christmas (purchased weeks before sandy hook) and flipped out and urged me to get rid of all of my guns.

I will NOT be giving up my right to own guns based on someone else's fear or hatred for them. I have no mental health issues what-so-ever and I legally,safely, and responsibly own my firearms. Upon telling her I would not be getting rid of them she promptly said "*blank* you", told me I ruined Christmas, and took down all of her Christmas decorations including the Christmas tree. Still makes no sense to me how my gun ownership relates to Christmas..... Anyways

This brought up the question from a 110% anti-gun member of my family; "Why do you need guns if your not going to kill anyone? You don't need them at all. I have lived this long without needing a gun to protect myself and I would rather be shot and killed than have to shoot someone, I would use my fist or anything around me to protect myself but not a gun."

Now, I am 22 years old. My aunt who is not anti-gun agrees with my views but thinks it makes no sense at my age to have them yet. The reason I own firearms are as follows:

1. Protection. I have my carry permit and carry as much as possible. I also have them for home defense. I have a fiancé and plan on having kids. These are people that I care about. I do not own guns because I WANT to kill someone, but because if someone makes a decision to put my fiancé, my future kids, or my own life in danger I WILL protect. Even if some anti-gun jury throws me in jail after a defense shooting because I'm an "evil man just for owning guns" I would much more easily be able to cope with going to jail than living my life knowing I watched my wife or kids or both get killed in front of me while I had no way to stop it. Or being killed myself obviously.

2. Hobby. Why can't I target shoot as a hobby. Practicing and perfecting shooting the middle of a target is the same thing as practicing and perfecting your free throw shot in basketball right? Getting the ball in the basket? How about throwing horseshoes and getting ringers perfectly around the pole? Golf? Trying for that hole in one? Darts anyone? it's all the same. The only difference is shooting is slightly more dangerous. But that's where responsibility and safety comes in.

3. Learning. I have dreamt of becoming a police officer my whole life because I love helping others and theres no better satisfaction than knowing at the end of the day someone NEEDED you in a certain situation and you came through and got the job done. What better job than police officer? When someone needs help or is in trouble who do they call? (not ghost busters LOL) I have spent my whole life doing everything to not fall into the traps of teen and 20s behavior of this generation. While 90% of everyone else my age is out partying it up and being reckless and having "fun" I have been staying out of trouble doing nothing to risk tarnishing my background or record ruining my chances of becoming a police officer. I have been working full time since I was 17, up to 3 jobs at once. I don't even drink at all because I like to be in complete control over my actions and mind at all times. I am going to do everything in my power to live out this dream and by owning firearms now it gives me a head start for when I have one on my "tool belt" on a daily basis for work. I wanted to learn the Ins and outs of safety and function of firearms as well as practice. I know they teach you in academy but when has coming prepared for something ever hurt anyone?

I feel like I am a very responsible 22 year old and very mature for my age and don't think owning firearms makes me a bad person and don't think my reasons for owning them are wrong reasons. Right? Am I going crazy here?

Thoughts appreciated.
 
See less See more
#2 ·
I have had concealed carry for about 20 years, fortunately I have never needed it.
I also wear a seatbelt when I'm in a vehicle fortunately I've never needed that either.
I have a fire extinguisher in my home and it has fortunately remained unneeded.

If a life threatening situation should unfortunately happen it is my sole responsibility to try and ensure my survival.

Anybody who feels like they don't need a firearm to protect themself in the event of an emergency is betting their life using a "head in the sand" philsophy.
 
#3 ·
I don't want to kill anyone - but I'm willing if someone leaves me no choice. Also - they're great for killing other things. Like animals, targets, etc..

As for the "I would rather be shot and killed than have to shoot someone" - lots of people think this way. The very idea of violence/deadly force is so abhorrent to them, they can't bear to face the reality that it is even possible. So they dismiss it. I know a few folks like this - I don't try to change them. It's how they want to be....

Austin
 
#4 ·
I don't have much to offer in the way of thoughts because I think you covered your topics so well. I would encourage you to continue to speak in defense of your rights and be vocal about it. I'm your same age and I can tell you that I only know one other person our age who is as mature and focused on becoming a good citizen as you outlined. (I've been dating her for 4 years now.) I'm young enough to only have taken an interest in changing my country recently but old enough to know that if all the thinkers and freedom lovers stay quiet the only voices heard will be the agenda pushers, the buzz line repeaters, and those awfull "why can't America be more like the UK" ers.
As a fellow young citizen I applaud you and hope you continue the good fight.
 
#6 ·
...Upon telling her I would not be getting rid of them she promptly said "*blank* you", told me I ruined Christmas, and took down all of her Christmas decorations including the Christmas tree. ...
Love her and do your best to play along when in her house (for example, don't carry on her property).

But she's the one with the mental problem: if she can't handle your exhibiting adult decision-making behavior - to the point of profanity and a tantrum - she's clearly (well, to me) not capable of controlling herself. She likely knows this and fears how SHE would behave if she had a gun. Since she's not interested in examining herself (and certainly would shy away from recognizing any flaws), she shifts her legitimate self-distrust onto you. It's called projection. Don't expect it to change.

Recently someone reposted a good article on the psychology of anti-gunners: if someone could provide a link again here it would be helpful. The guy who wrote it was a psychologist and all I'm doing is working from memory of his essay.
 
#12 ·
#7 ·
Not sure where you live in the northeast, but have the 2007 Petit murders in Connecticut evaporated from your family's collective memory? Does the fact that a state sanctioned the release of these savage predators cross their minds?

Do they only wear seatbelts when driving near home because most traffic accidents occur close to home?

Do they not have locks on their doors because no one has ever broken in before?

Is Neville Chamberlain their hero?
 
#8 ·
I have been carrying since 1955 and I have been in the military, been a police officer a supervisor for a international agency a training officer for casino and a retired federal officer. unlike CDW I have been shot at, stabbed, beat with a bumper jack, 4 car wrecks and 3 house fires and yes 2 heart attacks. Nothing can prepare you for events but being ready for the unexpected is your greatest advantage along with your mind and how to handle it. So now it comes down to can I handle my responsibility as a gun owner and yes the pressure of your peers, when I was released from the service in the 60s I had a lot of pressure but I made up my mind that I would go on to do the right thing and owning a gun does not mean that you have to or will hurt some one but look at it from my side I will not let some one do harm to my famiy, or friends and I would not want to bear the burden of knowing that I could have stopped the threat. Now its your choice I have made mine
 
#14 ·
RugerSRguy: (rather than retype this--I just "quoted" something I wrote earlier today in a different thread--but I think it applies here as well.
For many of those who oppose guns in general, or "Assualt Weapons" in particular, their position is at base an EMOTIONAL reaction that will not be affected by logical reasoning. I think that for most "anti's" the real issue that lies deep inside of them is a life of denial. They do NOT want to believe that EVIL men and women stalk among us, looking for victims.

This was thrust home again to me this work week in a discussion with a co-worker. This is a generally "good" person, who is usually, pretty rational. He wanted me to sign a petition to our legislators and he thought it was pretty "middle-of-the-road" and that I would agree with it. It contained language about banning/prohibiting ownership of "AWs". I thanked him and told him that I would not sign it. He was incredulous and this led to the discussion about "why would anybody need an AW?" Fairly quickly it got to the question I asked him: "Do you actually expect evil or crazy people to obey the laws?" He tried to dodge it, and I pressed him, and he finally (with great reluctance and some anger) admitted "No." "If the BGs have them and WILL use them, why should I not be able to defend myself adequately?" At which point, it became too emotional for him and he reverted back to his simple: "I just believe that there are too many guns."

Bottom line, its NOT about logic, its about maintaining an illusion (delusion?) of painful reality that they avert their eyes and turn their heads away from, lest they actually see that evil stalks among us.
To your relative who is a Pacifist, while I don't agree with them, I do respect them, as long as they are willing to truly live (or die) according to their stated principles. You have thought through this well. Steer a straight course, maintain your convictions, get (or maintain) training to match your equipment and convictions and don't be ashamed of your convictions--just recognize your logical arguments will not change an irrational, emotionally based response.
 
#15 ·
Its a terrible thing to be put in that position. TO have your own mother cuss you out, and canceling the Christmas holiday, and blaming you for it. All I can say, is to stay true to the principles that you have spoken on. Sometimes on an very emotional subject, people will not listen to reason, and it's best not to try. Wait til things calm down, and try to talk reasonbly and clearly, later.

In the meantime, take the high road.
 
#16 ·
I'm sort of in the same boat. My mom didn't really care with regard to my gun ownership, never really said anything with regard to me concealed carrying. Being fairly young myself (26 years old) and a bachelor she likes to visit me in SC from VA. Last summer she decided to have my niece and nephew visit her at home in VA. Her plan was to pick up my niece and nephew in Jacksonville, FL and drive them back to VA. Since SC is in between she decided to stop at my place in Charleston to avoid having to drive ten plus hours back to VA.

The only problem with that is that I was not at home at the time. I travel a good bit for work and the time when she was planning on stopping was in the middle of one of my trips. So being a single I don't secure my weapons in a safe and my loaded carry weapons are left in my nightstand drawer. She doesn't know how to safely handle my guns and now she is bringing kids into my house. So I ask my roommate who also owns guns to go into my room and unload all my weapons and lock them up in their cases. He also put all the cable locks on my long guns to include my AR. My Mom is very OCD and will clean my house and rearrange things to her liking if she gets a chance. Because of that she discovered my AR and suddenly started to have issues with me owning guns.

So now almost everytime I talk with her she tells me that I need to sell my guns and that only bad things happen with guns. This does not bother me primarily because of how I know how stubborn she is and thinks that only her opinions are right. She is so set in her ways that she still thinks the only way I will ever be successful in life is if I go to Med school and become a doctor. So anytime she brings up the getting rid of my guns and going to med school I just tell her no I won't and don't even try to argue with her.

Her sudden antigun thoughts were only brought out when she saw my "scary black rifle" as a result of an irrational fear she has with "military looking rifles".

RugerSRGuy I feel for you, although my Mom has never gone and thrown a temper tantrum with regard to my guns. All I can say is if you don't live at home and you are supporting yourself then she really has no right to tell you want you can and cannot do and you do not need to justify exercising your rights. In my Mom's case 99% of the stress in her life is stress she brings onto herself through constant worrying (not including my guns or lack of urge to go to med school).
 
#17 ·
After Christmas of course, demand that they get rid of their car. I mean, they must plan on killing someone with it right? :rolleyes: Some people just don't have a good perspective on certain things. And BTW, no wonder she's your fiance. :hand9:
 
  • Like
Reactions: multistage
#18 ·
the best answer i've heard to your 110% against guns family member is a slight variation on what fellow DC member MamaMaria said in another post ("your best 'One Line Defense'"):

do you think any unarmed survivor of a criminal assault ever said to themselves afterwards, "Boy, i'm sure glad i didn't have a gun"?


and for the record, i think your family member who said that to you doesn't have a clue what they're talking about.
 
#19 ·
RugerSRguy,

Stick to your principles and keep your guns. The Anti-gun types will all cool down in a little while and everything will more or less get back to normal. Your Mom sounds like she may have gone off the deep end a little bit, but she's your Mom so stick with her, even if she is wrong about this stuff. Time heals all wounds.
 
#21 ·
Simply put, its not necessarily having a need/want or any other type reason. Truthfully the question should not be asked nor answered. If those asking would read the 2nd amendment the "answer" lies there.

".... the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." Their asinine rhetoric questions are to attempt to get others on their side since on the surface they seems to make sense. The second amendment right needs no explanation except maybe to recite it to the anti guy questioners .

This message was sent via my "Ma Bell" rotary phone......
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nmuskier
#22 ·
I have carried for over 38 years (Since i was 21 and could get a permit.). I Have never had to use my weapon in self defence. I hope i never have to as the legal outcome is concerning.

Mothers usually don't like the sons choice of spouse. Keep in mind who you are living with. Stick to your beliefs and ignore others.

When i was 22 I was carrying a M16 in the Army. LOL
 
#25 ·
its hard to argue with a lib,they are mean and closed minded...I have several in my family back in NY and
they think im the *******. The truth is most I have talked with have never shot a gun nor wish too because
of the danger involved as the media have made up their minds for them . I used to be one of these people till
I moved away from that mindset of people,im convinced CCW holders are more level headed than un armed folks
They seem to be more polite and generally more informed about the law and safety in general - that phrase
of an armed society is a polite society is pretty dam accurate as the folks I meet in and around firearms are
overly polite....So now I dont argue i just do my think
 
#27 ·
I have never understood the rationale behind voluntary victimhood, but do understand that many ascribe to it. I do not, and will not join those who do. I have family members who are adamantly anti-gun, and I refuse to engage them in their red-faced hysteria. I simply do not have the conversation with them.
 
#28 ·
Well odd advice but I'd move out of your state. I won't live in states with high gun control laws. We had a chance to move to Northern California but I passed it up because of the gun laws. I used to live in Los Angeles and hated the fact it was so difficult to own a gun. As far as your mom I think she'll get over it. Show her some statistics on how crime is lowered because of legal law abiding citizens owning firearms are growing. That sucks she took the ol' tree down! She must have been really irate! And I'm working towards the same goal you are as becoming a police officer. I'm workin towards my associates in criminal justice. I just can't figure out if I want to work for a local department or the sheriffs department. Good luck! And Merry Xmas!
 
#29 ·
With some people, especially those who despise the firearm, simply live in the world of denial. They have never been the victims of a violent criminal so they cannot associate with the victim they just live with the fallacy that they live in a perfect world and evil will never darken their doorway.

I have also talked to anti gun people and they have the same mentality. You could ask them why they would want to own a knife because that too could be used to kill someone, but they will come up with the apples & oranges theory because only guns kill and no other objects such as knives, baseball bats, hammers, screwdrivers, automobiles and rocks will kill as well. It's only those evil guns.

I had this same conversation with my friend in Jacksonville, FL the other evening on the phone. He is a Police Officer and is pro-gun to the max, likes concealed carry people, and has no problem with them at all. I said that most anti gun people think that we gun owners wake up every morning and say "I hope I get to shoot someone today." It's that mentality towards rational, law abiding firearms owners that keeps being put out to demonize us and the guns we own. If you keep telling a lie often enough sooner or later, it becomes "truth."

Would I want to shoot someone? Heavens no. I pray that I never have to, but push come to shove in the face of a violent criminal who has no qualms about killing me or a loved one, then I will make certain the criminal gets rehabilitated forever.

That is why I have a gun, not because I hope that I get to kill someone with it.
 
#30 ·
There comes a time in life when parents and family have to realize, your a grown up and capable of making decisions. Hate to say this, but your mothers reaction was childish, it's probably a good thing there are no firearms around her. In fact I'd be very concerned if there were. Do what you need to do for your safety and don't worry about what others think. They won't be the ones to protect you if something bad happens.
 
#31 ·
You and I may be twin brothers!

Right now many peoples' emotions are still raw over what happened. Just give them some time to vent and hopefully they'll eventually realize - with a little respectful persuasion - that their positions are untenable. For example some of my loved ones are blasting the NRA for the suggestion of putting armed guards in schools. My counter today will be "Google 'Palm Beach school police' - they've been doing it since 1972!"

BTW...I need a gun because I DON'T want to kill. Based on personal experience the presence of my weapon saved the lives of three teenagers several years ago.
 
#33 ·
Sorry to hear about the family issues concerning your ability to make your own decisions. Sounds like your girlfriends a keeper. You should cozy up with her on Christmas. I guess I haven't thought about it but I grew up military so me having firearms was not unexpected. Merry Christmas to you RugerSRGuy. Be safe and go break in that AR.
 
  • Like
Reactions: surefire7
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top