2+ years later wife sort of notices

2+ years later wife sort of notices

This is a discussion on 2+ years later wife sort of notices within the General Firearm Discussion forums, part of the Related Topics category; I have been carrying concealed for almost 3 years and was quite open with my wife that I was getting my permit. I went through ...

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Thread: 2+ years later wife sort of notices

  1. #1
    Member Array Ducmonster's Avatar
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    2+ years later wife sort of notices

    I have been carrying concealed for almost 3 years and was quite open with my wife that I was getting my permit. I went through classes twice
    once with the Sheriffs office before they changed Iowa to a shall issue state. Then another class a year later after the change. She knew I went and
    that I received my permit. Also that I ordered several holsters. So a couple weeks ago I am getting ready for the day in the bathroom. My Ruger SR40c is on the counter in it's Remora holster and she comes in. Seeing this she says have you been carrying your gun? I give her a funny look and say of coarse, when I can. She then starts asking me when and I explain most of the time except at work. Do you carry to the movies? Absolutely. What about when my parents came for Christmas? Yep. This continues for several other scenarios. She mumbles something about she doesn't get it and what If some one takes it from me. I explain that because it's concealed no one knows I have it. She gives me one of those looks like I am an alien or something. For the next few days she asks me several times if I am carrying and I tell her. Since then not a word. I think she has forgotten about it. Too busy thinking about all the other things she needs to do/complain about/nag me about/worry about. I am glad I am not a woman.

    Some observations from this. 1. My concealment methods seem adequate. At least to conceal from the average person. 2. My wife may not be the average person. 3. Maybe we need to talk more ( or at least I need to she seems to do plenty ).

    I know some of you will say I need to take her shooting. I have done that although many years ago. She liked it, but not in a wow I can't believe how fun that was way, more like that was ok can we go out to eat now? I am glad she at least accepts my interest in guns and carry and I am able to purchase things from time to time although she encourages the sell one to buy one plan. I have more than what I would consider the minimum so I can't complain.

    I am wondering if there are many like me that have spouses that don't really get it but just kind of accept it.


  2. #2
    Distinguished Member Array dangerranger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ducmonster View Post
    I have been carrying concealed for almost 3 years and was quite open with my wife that I was getting my permit. I went through classes twice
    once with the Sheriffs office before they changed Iowa to a shall issue state. Then another class a year later after the change. She knew I went and
    that I received my permit. Also that I ordered several holsters. So a couple weeks ago I am getting ready for the day in the bathroom. My Ruger SR40c is on the counter in it's Remora holster and she comes in. Seeing this she says have you been carrying your gun? I give her a funny look and say of coarse, when I can. She then starts asking me when and I explain most of the time except at work. Do you carry to the movies? Absolutely. What about when my parents came for Christmas? Yep. This continues for several other scenarios. She mumbles something about she doesn't get it and what If some one takes it from me. I explain that because it's concealed no one knows I have it. She gives me one of those looks like I am an alien or something. For the next few days she asks me several times if I am carrying and I tell her. Since then not a word. I think she has forgotten about it. Too busy thinking about all the other things she needs to do/complain about/nag me about/worry about. I am glad I am not a woman.

    Some observations from this. 1. My concealment methods seem adequate. At least to conceal from the average person. 2. My wife may not be the average person. 3. Maybe we need to talk more ( or at least I need to she seems to do plenty ).

    I know some of you will say I need to take her shooting. I have done that although many years ago. She liked it, but not in a wow I can't believe how fun that was way, more like that was ok can we go out to eat now? I am glad she at least accepts my interest in guns and carry and I am able to purchase things from time to time although she encourages the sell one to buy one plan. I have more than what I would consider the minimum so I can't complain.

    I am wondering if there are many like me that have spouses that don't really get it but just kind of accept it.

    You have just described my wife and I to a Tee! She has no real aversion to it but no real interest in it ether. DR

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Count your blessings, Duc. I like her already.

    Definitely time to talk a bit more about the carrying, self-defense philosophy and how you're going about it. Might well help to clear the air and eliminate any "shaky" feelings she might have. Better to have two pairs of eyes instead of one, in situations, as well. Better to have a tag-team approach in which both can contribute to surviving the fight. Easier to do when both are on the same page.
    Greghan and NONAME762 like this.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
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    Member Array Greghan's Avatar
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    Great advice by ccw9mm but don't feel like your the lonesome dove on this. It's hard in this hectic thing we call life to remember we need to take a chill pill and converse about other things than what is next on the schedule. My wife and I are working on that as well.
    NONAME762 likes this.

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    You mean ... there's more to talk about beyond guns?
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array NONAME762's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ccw9mm View Post
    You mean ... there's more to talk about beyond guns?
    Of course you silly man you there's Trucks.

    But seriously I've heard countless times (mostly from women) that men aren't paying attention. Now the shoe is on the other foot and I find that hilarious.
    Firing a suppressed is on my Bucket List.

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  7. #7
    VIP Member Array Kennydale's Avatar
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    My wife is just not a gun lover. She does not understand why i carry in the house (It ticks her off). She has no conception of what is involved with gun ownership today. I was trying to explain to her even though i have not shot my SD Ammo. It needs to be replaced (Recycle those rounds have been chambering ) She seems to have that Barney Fife attitude of all you need is one bullet. I am working on her !
    G-d, Make me fast and accurate. Let my aim be true and my hand faster than those who would seek to destroy me. And G-d if today is truly the day you call me home, then let me die in a pile of empty brass.

  8. #8
    Member Array grbr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ducmonster View Post
    what If some one takes it from me.
    Tell her that if it's that easy then you'll just take it back.
    ccw9mm and Ducmonster like this.

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    It would be impossible to keep my wife from knowing that I am carrying, even if I were so inclined.
    Bad Bob likes this.
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  10. #10
    Member Array muddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike1956 View Post
    It would be impossible to keep my wife from knowing that I am carrying, even if I were so inclined.
    I was thinking this also. Maybe you need to chase her around the house more often.
    Farmerjohn likes this.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Array Chad0724's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ducmonster View Post
    I have been carrying concealed for almost 3 years and was quite open with my wife that I was getting my permit. I went through classes twice
    once with the Sheriffs office before they changed Iowa to a shall issue state. Then another class a year later after the change. She knew I went and
    that I received my permit. Also that I ordered several holsters. So a couple weeks ago I am getting ready for the day in the bathroom. My Ruger SR40c is on the counter in it's Remora holster and she comes in. Seeing this she says have you been carrying your gun? I give her a funny look and say of coarse, when I can. She then starts asking me when and I explain most of the time except at work. Do you carry to the movies? Absolutely. What about when my parents came for Christmas? Yep. This continues for several other scenarios. She mumbles something about she doesn't get it and what If some one takes it from me. I explain that because it's concealed no one knows I have it. She gives me one of those looks like I am an alien or something. For the next few days she asks me several times if I am carrying and I tell her. Since then not a word. I think she has forgotten about it. Too busy thinking about all the other things she needs to do/complain about/nag me about/worry about. I am glad I am not a woman.

    Some observations from this. 1. My concealment methods seem adequate. At least to conceal from the average person. 2. My wife may not be the average person. 3. Maybe we need to talk more ( or at least I need to she seems to do plenty ).

    I know some of you will say I need to take her shooting. I have done that although many years ago. She liked it, but not in a wow I can't believe how fun that was way, more like that was ok can we go out to eat now? I am glad she at least accepts my interest in guns and carry and I am able to purchase things from time to time although she encourages the sell one to buy one plan. I have more than what I would consider the minimum so I can't complain.

    I am wondering if there are many like me that have spouses that don't really get it but just kind of accept it.
    Mine is the same way:( I had a whole thread here about it.. She was funny tonight because we were going out to dinner and were about to leave. I punched the safe code in to grab my gun (it beeps when you push the buttons). She pops around the corner and says "do you need your suspenders". I told her no because I was going to carry OWB under my jacket. Just a few weeks ago she was saying how stupid it was for me to carry a gun around.. She said I needed it to boost my ego.


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  12. #12
    Senior Member Array daffyduc's Avatar
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    She can't be too bad. She lets you keep guns and Ducati's. I'd say she's a keeper.


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  13. #13
    Member Array mfcmb's Avatar
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    She has not forgotten it. It took her some time to process the fact that you really are (and have been) carrying. She may still be processing this info, and trying to decide if it's a problem for her.

    If she wants to go shooting she'll broach the topic. It may well be that, as with many other things, it's an interest that she's willing to support you in but not one she wants to pursue herself.
    dangerranger likes this.
    In the heat of the moment, what matters is what your body knows -- not what your mind knows.

  14. #14
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NONAME762 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by ccw9mm View Post
    You mean ... there's more to talk about beyond guns?
    Of course you silly man you there's Trucks.

    But seriously I've heard countless times (mostly from women) that men aren't paying attention. Now the shoe is on the other foot and I find that hilarious.
    Oooh, we could "milk" this thing ... uh, if it weren't clear the ladies were watching. Of course, that ShooterGranny "liked" your post speaks volumes. If we can get JeanLouise on board, as well, we'll be golden.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  15. #15
    Member Array Bryan81's Avatar
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    My wife knew full well I was taking the class and then got my CPL. She didn't realize that I would be carry so often though. It was a few months after I started carrying (everywhere except work and church, neither are permitted) before she realized that I was actually carrying all the time. She has no interest in guns, though she grew up around them, so her attitude was really just "whatever".

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