Oy gevault, "condition white"

[The Tourist]

Because of the latest dust-up at our church, it seemed a good opportunity to re-visit the self-defense firearms in our home and strategies for defense. It also provided an opportunity for me to check locks, windows and alarms. I also pulled out some boxes of ammo in the safe room.

I got that "teenage eye roll" from my wife. I informed her that we have raised the level in our home from "treat every gun as loaded" to the new condition of "every gun is loaded." In doing that, I got a lesson myself.

Depite our 33 year association, my wife has absolutely no desire for self defense. When she drives the 90 miles to her parents home by herself I ask the litany of questions I'm certain will bring a "no" for an answer.

Do you have a firearm? "No."
Do you have a knife? "Just my 2-inch EDC."
Do you have pepper spray? "No, I gave it away, the cap cracked."
Do you have your keys? "Somewhere."
Do you have your phone? "I think it's 'near' my purse."

Don't get me wrong. She's tough, she shoots better than most men who brag, she owns her own weapons and she knows the nomenclature of the guns I own. There is one barrier to proper self defense.

She just doesn't want to think about it. La-la-la, it's not going to happen.

One night in all seriousness I made an analogy to her. I started with my stature and my past life. Then I reminded her of those consequences by pointing out chipped teeth, old faded scars, broken bones and soft tissue problems from impact.

I told her that if I was stopped or mugged that I carried lethal implements with the skill and the desire to use them if pressed. And then I admitted what a lot of macho guys might not.

I stated that, in these situations, I am afraid.

I took my bike out for a spin on Monday and I came home to find my wife outside cutting brush on our rear green space.

I also found a combat knife and the Glock inside, on our coffee table.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[rocky]

Most folks just do not realize it could happen to them........till it does. I have always tried to avoid problems and fights, but have not always been sucessful. Unfortunately most of my family doesn't understand , it could be them.

[Betty]

You can lead a horse to water....

One of my dad's former employees had a sister who was found murdered. It appeared she had been chased outside the house, and was found in a ditch yards away; I believe she had been strangled. The killer remains at large.

Some people get active in protecting themselves only after an incident... if they are lucky enough to survive.

[FortyFive]

I tend to agree, we get very complacement with the idea someone will break in our house or try to hurt us. My wife understands the threats out there and how bad it can be in certain areas but we are not really charged up to defend. My hands are getting a little better and I cleaned my .45 the other day, they still hurt and cramp up but I am trying to get back into the be careful mode. Will dig out the .357 soon and keep it loaded as I did in the past. I would feel better if there were more friendly neighbor/shooters nearby who feel the need for security.

[The Tourist]

we get very complacement

Forty-Five,

Complacent, yes, and it caught me napping. Yikes, I was in church. Even my senses were a bit cloudy. I was carrying food to the kitchen. Had I walked down the center of the lot I'd be dead now.

I got my nose broke, twice, because I didn't think the fight was that serious.

I'm the poster boy for "does that need ice?"

[P95Carry]

Guys - you have my permission to yawn - as I trot out (yet again) my mantras!

"Expect the unexpected"
"Don't assume"
"You cannot make appointments, for emergencies"

My case rests!

[ExSoldier]

One of my dad's former employees had a sister who was found murdered. It appeared she had been chased outside the house, and was found in a ditch yards away; I believe she had been strangled. The killer remains at large. Some people get active in protecting themselves only after an incident... if they are lucky enough to survive.

I don't know if y'all remember serial killer Ted Bundy. Well I knew the girl who found his victims at the Chi Omega House at FSU. One of them, as she lay dying in my friends arms, accepted Christ as savior. The eerie thing is that my friend was sleeping in the sorority house that night and although she hardly ever does, she got a very strong feeling to lock her door that night. She did. There was fingerprint evidence that Bundy tried to enter HER room, too. This girl got pretty serious about self defense after she graduated. But she had other issues too. Hell, I'd say stumbling across the work of a monster like Bundy would mess anybody up!

Then some years later, Danny Rolling went on a spree and killed five people in almost as many days. One of these was a body builder named MANNY TABODA who was as gentle as a lamb, even though he looked bigger than a house....gentle soul. When he met Rolling in a home where two other girls resided, Taboda had no chance despite his size. He was beaten to death by a stone killer who enjoyed his handiwork. Remember, it's almost never the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.

We've become a society filled with law abiding sheep and there is no shame in that; it's a natural feature of "civilization." But where there are sheep, there will always be wolves and so the SHEEPDOG becomes a necessary fixture. Here is a fine essay on this subject that I've posted before, but now we have so many new members....http://www.blackfive.net/main/2004/1..._hang_wit.html

[The Tourist]

'Soldier,

Your mention of locked doors when sleeping brings me to another aspect of constant vigilance. I don't really want it to be "constant."

As bad as that sounds and as much as I want to be realistic about security, there are just some times when I want to lay that heavy armor down.

For example, if I am out to dinner with friends. I want a glass of wine, and I want to relax.

If I go to church for deep thought or the need of spirituality.

If I just want to be home, eat, and play with the pups.

In each of those scenarios we can all nod our heads and agree that man needs to unwind. And yet, in any of those scenarios we can all cite cases where attacks have happened, and that's my point.

It's easy to lapse.

Tonight is that kind of night for me. It was a lousy weekend on the whole, and the first day back to work was far from splendid. Trying to get a serious answer out of me at this point will be a severe scavenger hunt.

And yet I am the head cheese for security here at Le Chez Gumba. If I fail, we all fail. And there are times I just don't want the job. I know better.

[QKShooter]

A Really Good Necessary Thread.
I can get my wife no further than FOX Labs purse size chemical spray & a small blade.
She works where firearms are strictly forbidden anywhere on company property & absolutely needs to park in their lot.
At home she can handle a Smith J~Frame with milder .38 specials but, would really rather not be bothered even thinking about it.
I am constantly working on her though & she at least has high situational awareness & avoids areas of higher probable danger.
She watches where she parks at the mall etc., etc. ~ but it would be easier for me to get my cocker spaniel to pack a firearm than her.

[Bumper]

Anytime I bring up the subject of getting a permit and carrying my wife simply says that it's my job to protect her. I go through the same tired arguments about "what if I'm not there" and she just says she doesn't like handguns (she loves rifles). I buy her pepper spray and it has never left the headboard of our bed. I bought her a gift certificate for self defense training and I doubt she will ever attend. She says her wrists are too weak, she doesn't like the "fireball", she doesn't like the "kick", she doesn't like other people watching her shoot because they are probably thinking she is a lousy shot. For the most part, I now save my breath and go with her most places as her "personal security." I wish it were different. She likes guns, in general, is very glad I carry, wants our son and daughter to get their permit but she has no interest.

[P95Carry]

She says her wrists are too weak, she doesn't like the "fireball", she doesn't like the "kick", she doesn't like other people watching her shoot because they are probably thinking she is a lousy shot.

Randy - I can see you are (seemingly) on a hiding to nothing - it is I am sure frustrating.

I cannot see how with ''what if I am not there'' she can still claim safety and security - pepper spray just won't cut it in certain cases. My wife got her CCW early this year - she carries very little and then it's purse carry but - certain times she will, more so if ''prodded'' - tho I try not to force the issue. She does now accept the possibility of things going belly up in the least likely of circumstances.

It's hard to see your wife accept a vulnerability which she could temper so easily - even if she has no great liking for handguns. There are so many ''what ifs'' where you think it would be apparent that without you around, she just could be in harm's way. Road ''situations'' come to mind, even being in the stop and rob at the wrong time etc.

I know about the ''I don't want folks watching me shoot badly''! My dear wife has same problem - but is not worried if we go to range together and no one around. Something we must do again very soon.

Anyways - me rambling again - I guess just saddened about her lack of uptake - her prerogative tho of course. I am always reminded that it is only we who can look after ourselevs - and that in the end IMO it becomes a personal responsibility - there cannot always be a guardian angel at our side.

[Betty]

She says her wrists are too weak, she doesn't like the "fireball", she doesn't like the "kick", she doesn't like other people watching her shoot because they are probably thinking she is a lousy shot.

Sometimes it takes other women to inspire women, because many are more comfortable doing things in groups (I mean, haven't you seen us shopping?). If there's a women's day at the range, make sure she goes and brings her friends! Have her read other women's stories here, especially Tamara's story.

A woman is a lot stronger than she thinks she is, and of course, it takes practice to shoot good. I had plenty of fun running one-hand, strong & weak hand drills (while moving backwards) with my .45 USPc this past weekend, and I did pretty good, even with my little dainty wrists. And I like fireballs.

[FortyFive]

Well, I am a Hunka, Hunka man and shooting the .45 one hand you can feel the torque in the wrists. There are jsut some women who will not shoot a gun, don't even want to see them. My wife is pro gun and sometimes would go to the range but could not get her to shoot even a .22.

[dhomoney]

My wife seems the be the exception in this group. She love both my .45s. She is a spot on shot who can put 15 rounds from my .45 or her XD into an inch at 7 yards without breaking a sweat. She even has her permit, but never carries. She is a creature of comfort and doesn't feel like carrying.

I would love to get her to carry, for her protection and my peace of mind, but it has been a losing battle so far.

[ebd10]

I'm lucky. My wife grew up in a house where guns were considered tools of Satan. Since she met me, she's fired machine guns, gone hunting, owns her own G-19, and has her CHL. She doesn't carry it as often as I'd like her to, but she does carry (usually when she has to go out at night or is running errands with the kids. I carry all of my waking hours, home or not).