Understanding The Mind Of The Rapist

Understanding The Mind Of The Rapist

This is a discussion on Understanding The Mind Of The Rapist within the General Firearm Discussion forums, part of the Related Topics category; Credit To Marc MacYoung In attempting to warn women against the danger, many rape crisis centers proclaim "all men are potential rapists." What a horrible ...

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Thread: Understanding The Mind Of The Rapist

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    Exclamation Understanding The Mind Of The Rapist

    Credit To Marc MacYoung

    In attempting to warn women against the danger, many rape crisis centers proclaim "all men are potential rapists." What a horrible way to live. Who wants to go through life in fear of one half of the human race? Much less believe this about those we love and are intimate with.

    The idea behind any learning should be to improve the quality of life, not degrade it. To this end, let’s leave the wild paranoia of ‘possible’ rape scenarios and move onto the more solid footing of ‘probable’ and 'very likely' - and what you can do about it.

    Someone rightly said, "Dishonest people are seldom dishonest in only one aspect of their lives." In the same vein, the predilections that can, and do, lead to rape are not isolated. They tend to permeate a person's character and be regularly displayed in many small ways and in other areas. These attitudes, behaviors and words are consistent among rapists and those who attack others. And IF you are willing to look, they are easy to spot.

    The reason it is impossible to predict who will and won't sexually assault someone is because how these behaviors manifest is a matter of style and preference. One person might choose to be blatant and habitually physically attack others, while another might be more subtle but verbally attack others on a regular basis. The motives are the same, but the style is utterly different. And that is why it is hard to predict who will and won't use sexual assault.

    What we can accurately predict is something bad will arise out of these character traits, the When, Where and How are impossible to predetermine.

    If you see these behaviors in a person, take care. The more you see, the more care should be taken not to be alone him. Even if he doesn’t rape, these behaviors indicate serious character flaws.

    Danger signs

    1) Insensitivity for others/emphasis on self - Does this person put his wants above the needs, feelings or well being of others? Is getting his way more important to him than other people's welfare? Often this can go beyond mere selfishness and border nearly on an "assumed divine right." Often these people will justify a particularly vicious action with a flip comment like, "Hey, that's how the game is played." Such a person has no understanding that he must co-exist with others. Because he simply exists he thinks the world "owes" him whatever he wants. A common tactic of such a person it to make you feel bad for not doing what he wants.

    2) Belittling behavior or attitudes towards others - Does this person habitually make nasty, belittling or degrading comments about others – especially under the guise of joking? Does this person think he is better than others? Does he look down on others? A nouveau riche aristocrat? Is he a racist? A person who thinks that race or social position makes him superior can also assume gender does too. When you think you are superior, an assumed right to ‘take’ what you want often follows.

    3) Negating behavior or comments - Closely related to 1 and 2. Does he try to tell you what you are feeling or thinking? Or worse, tell you what you are not? Comments like "you don’t really mean that" are serious indicators of someone trying to negate you. A person who negates others is trying to take away the other person’s thoughts, feelings and needs and attempting to project his wants onto that person. The most obvious example of this is "Well even though she said ‘no’, she really meant ‘yes’".

    4) Hostile and/or threatening language - What words does a person use? Choice of words convey subconscious assumptions about a particular topic. For example a man who generically refers to women as "bitches" does not have good assumptions about females (or much respect). It is all too easy to dismiss this behavior as just "blowing off steam." But if it is a constant behavior, it goes far beyond that. Someone who habitually uses violent or threatening language should be carefully watched for possible escalation. It’s on his mind already. It’s a uncomfortably short step from ‘thinking about’ to ‘doing’.

    5) Bullying - This behavior is especially dangerous. Does this person use overt or subtle threats to get his way? A bully uses the threat of violence more than actual violence. Most often bullies are not willing to risk conflict with someone who can hurt them (an alpha male), and will instead chose to intimidate someone he considers weaker and safer. Someone who is bullying over other matters can easily turn to bullying you regarding sex.

    6) Excessive anger - How easy does this person anger? Is he a "Short Fuse"? Does he boil over at the slightest problem? This is an indication of chronic anger. A person who explodes over a minor issue is like a full pot boiling over on the stove. It’s not that the issue is all that important, but that he has so much anger already, any more causes him to explode. Often people with chronic anger look for targets to vent their anger at. This could manifest as physical fights, abuse, or rape.

    7) Brooding/ revenge - Does this person hang onto his anger long after the situation is over? Will he still be stewing over something while everyone else has moved onto other things? Will he become anti-social and glare at the source of his anger from across the room? Will he insist on taking revenge for real or imagined slights? Both indicate a petty and obsessive personality. A brooder fixates on something and then works himself into a frenzy over it. A person who seeks revenge "has to win" and is willing to take it to extremes. Refusing such a person’s sexual advances can turn this tendency towards you.

    8) Obsession – This is a close cousin to number seven. It is a major factor with acquaintance rapes. This is the person who won’t leave you alone. He insists on ‘hitting on you’ long after you have told him no. He is always trying establish forced intimacy (see ‘bonding process’ below). Such obsessions easily turn into anger when his advances are rejected. One day he shows up in a fringe area, drunk and attacks.

    9) Extreme mood swings - Beware someone who can go from wildly happy to deeply wounded at a moment's notice. This sort of personality can feel justified to commit an unlimited amount of violence and damage, because you "hurt his feelings." This is a common pattern among those with chronic anger about life.

    10) Physical tantrums - How does this person get angry? Especially when denied "getting his way". Beware of a person who regularly physically assaults his environment i.e. hitting walls, kicking things etc. It is only a short step from striking a car to attacking you.

    11) Jock or gorilla mentality - This mentality promotes both acceptance and encouragement for the use of violence. It is especially common among participants of contact sports. What is most insidious about this mentality is the "jock" receives, not only positive reinforcement, but out-and-out applause for being aggressive and violent. This can easily lead to a failure to differentiate between the playing field and real life. Mike Tyson’s comment is a prime example: "Nobody ever objected before."

    12) A mean drunk - Nearly all rape and abuse cases involve alcohol. Watch what surfaces when someone is intoxicated. It shows what is always lurking underneath. Do not put yourself into a situation where you would deal with such a person while he is intoxicated. Most importantly, don't allow your facilities to be diminished by alcohol or drugs in this person's presence.

    13) Alcohol or drug abuse - To begin with drug and alcohol addiction can in be traced back to selfishness and a refusal to change one’s world view. Alcohol and drugs are not the cause of bad behavior, rather they are used as an excuse! Often the attacker intentionally became intoxicated to ignore the social restrictions and inhibitions regarding violence.

    While there are others, these behaviors are serious indicators of a potential rapist. This short list should acquaint you with the basics. Not all men are rapists, but a person like this has a higher probability than others. You not only find these traits among rapists and abusers, but also professional criminals. Philosophically there is little difference between such, they are all selfish. Most often it is just a matter of degrees, style and choice of victims.
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ


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    Explanation:

    Please allow my Transgression. The Reason I put this into General Firearm Discussion Is That It's The Place That Most New Forum Females Will Happen To Spot It.
    I Think It's An Important Read. That Is Why I Put It Into "General" BECAUSE that is the reason why most women feel a need to carry. Protection against the Male Predator.

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    Oh, its only a brief thought after reading what the guy has said but women are going to have a tough time finding a decent man according to Marc. Every man has one or more of those faults he described, now to what extent we don't know but I feel thats a poor guide to throw out there for a young lady to read and think about.
    Women are pretty smart they get screwed up when on the spur of the moment a decision is made to try something new or go somewhere not familiar to them. As long as they keep their radar intact and go slow they can guard their person. So I am not an expert on women, I know.
    As you slide down the banister of life,
    May the splinters never point the wrong way.
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    NRA Life Member

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    I am no psychologist but - do agree with some of that analysis. I would tho point out that IMO the ''danger signs'' are in fact not one specific - as FortyFive says - won't be too many guys around not guilty of one or two of those at times!!

    Rather it is a blend of these traits and so actually hard to put a finger on. One in particular that would raise my awareness for sure is constant ref' to women as ''bitches'' - I don't mean a casual mention but - constant use of the term. This is a woman hater possibly and seeing as the act of rape is rarely for sheer gratification - it fits in that the ''power'', subjugation and dominance angle is well present - a means of getting back at the hate object.

    The other traits that also ring bells for me are the ones showing beligerence, self-centeredness along with a short fuze - particularly when seen under influence of alcohol.

    I am fully in agreement that many folks show their true selves when drunk - and I get ticked off severely when someone says - ''oh, it was the drink's fault''. That is total BS!

    So yeah - there are pointers to the ''rape-prone perpetrator'' but not ones which I think can be cast in stone - let us say ''trends'' as much as actual traits. Finally then tho the ladies need to share the awareness that we CCW folks promote - see and heed warning signs but not living at paranoia level. maybe just a standard and sensible condition yellow, particularly when out and in company.

    Only my 2 small cents.
    Chris - P95
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    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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    According to that article....me and a lot of people I work with or for fit that mold! Geesh! Give me a break!
    "Endeavor To Persevere"
    Chief Dan George

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    Not good

    I think Me and my brother fit 12 of the thirteen categories, the only one we missed were the drug abuse. I guess I'm a rapist, better warn the neighbors.

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    Senior Member Array rfurtkamp's Avatar
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    Yeah, these sorts of pseudo-feminist checklists only serve the agenda of the moron leftists.

    Anyone can be a rapist. Anyone can rob the gas stations. Anyone could chop off Mom's head and hang it from the rafters.

    Most won't.
    Driver carries less than $45 worth of remorse.

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    Notice To All Flawed Forum Members.

    Like It Or Not.
    These ARE Character Flaws.
    "Even if he doesn’t rape, these behaviors indicate serious character flaws."

    I think it's a good guideline as a behavioral checklist. If too many patterns start popping up in a single individual it would be wise for any female to pay closer attention.
    While not everybody with certain traits...or 5 or 8 or...whatever becomes a sexual abuser of women ~ All sexual abusers of woman show the majority of these behavioral traits especially while intoxicated.
    So...it's here to be taken for what it's worth.

    I will say that if your life pattern of behavior seriously includes 12 out of 13 of the above...you should maybe think about talking to somebody about it.
    Last edited by QKShooter; June 12th, 2005 at 11:10 PM.

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    intresting read. Not sure its all right on , but does seem to I.D. some traits. Thanks for posting this, I will be sure to pass this on to my girlfriend to read.

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    Senior Member Array rfurtkamp's Avatar
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    The humor is my old lady fits more of the profile than most men I know.
    Driver carries less than $45 worth of remorse.

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    The humor is my old lady fits more of the profile than most men I know.
    - Got rape insurance have ya Robert!?? Nah - you seem like a guy who likes to live dangerously!

    (just kidding dude!)
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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    Member Array RidemCowboy's Avatar
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    QKShooter,
    I'm not jumping your gun, and I don't want to toot my own horn, but I like I said my brother and I fit 12 of those categories. however we're both in healthy longterm relationships, leaders of the local youth group, we were three and four sport athletes in highschool etc. I think we have pretty healthy relationships. I was more trying to point out that no matter how many categores a person fits into, they still have to make a choice. I get so sick and tired of hearing people come up with one excuse after another trying to rationalize their actions when they should just own up and take the consequences for whatever they did. Once again I'm not jumping on you at all and you didn't offend me, I just wanted to clarify the ambiguity of my post.

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    RidemCowboy

    Let me get this straight. You are saying:

    You're very Insensitive. -
    You put yourself above the feelings of others. -
    You want to make people feel bad. -
    You belittle people. -
    You Feel the world owes you everything. -
    You're nasty & degrading. -
    You "Take" because you feel superior. -
    You enjoy it when you negate others. -
    You project yourself into other people & their answers because they really don't know if they mean Yes or No. -
    You're hostile -
    You use threatening language. -
    You refer to women as bitches. -
    You're violent. -
    You bully people & threaten them to get your way. -
    You intimidate women because they are weaker. -
    You're usually excessively angry with an X-tra short fuse. -
    You constantly explode over minor issues. -
    You look for people to vent your anger at. -
    You brood excessively and stay angry for excessive periods of time. -
    You become anti-social. -
    You Glare at the source of your anger from across the room. -
    You Insist on taking revenge. -
    You over-fixate on your anger & work yourself up into a frenzy over it. -
    You always HAVE TO win. -
    You won't leave people alone and insist on hitting them. -
    You force your intimacy on your wife. -
    You have EXTREME mood swings. -
    You're willing to commit vast amounts of damage when your feelings get hurt. -
    You often have Physical tantrums punching walls and kicking things. -
    You applaude people for being/acting agressive and violent. -
    You get extremely mean when you're drunk. -


    No..you are FOR SURE not this type of person.
    I don't think that many of the things I've mentioned above are part of your regular personality. But, that is what you would be saying about yourself if you said...I am 12 out of those 13 things.
    I think you can tell what sort of person is being indicated as the type of person that females should watch out for.
    And you are NOT one of those people.
    Last edited by QKShooter; June 13th, 2005 at 11:37 AM.

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    Maybe we should throttle this thread a little, as things go in this world its not that important and everyone pretty much said what they wanted to say. Peace and long lasting quiet is more important on the forum. Please! Thanks guys.
    As you slide down the banister of life,
    May the splinters never point the wrong way.
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    NRA Life Member

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    Thumbs up RideemCowboy

    ADDITION: OK....FortyFive IS 100% CORRECT ~ LET'S LEAVE IT AT THE FACT THAT THIS IS ONE PERSONS PERSONAL PROFILE OF WHAT THAT PERSON BELIEVES GOES INTO THE MAKE-UP OF THE PREDATORY TYPE MALE. IT MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT BE TRUE BUT, COULD SERVE AS A USEFUL GUIDELINE. I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL BUT, SOME OF IT MAKES SENSE TO ME.
    I should add that there are combined numbers of integral personality traits that go into the "make-up" of the sort person that is "likely" to be aggressively or sexually abusive toward women.
    That is NOT the same thing as saying...OK I got mad and punched a wall 2 months ago & my car a year ago...so I am #3 - I Called the woman that packed my bags at the supermarket a ***** so...I'm #4 - I was super tough when I was younger & I loved getting into fights...so I'm #7 -
    No...that is NOT what this is saying.
    If you read the list & try to grasp a mental picture of the overall type of person that is being talked about here.
    You are not him & neither is your brother.
    If you were that person you would have been totally incapable of giving me a polite reply on this forum.
    I also went back and read some of your other posts and you are not the person being talked about here.
    You are probably one heck of a knock~em~down~drag~em~out & very tough cowboy but, you are also basically a very nice and decent daily person person.
    There is a huge difference.

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