Need help convincing the fiance

This is a discussion on Need help convincing the fiance within the General Firearm Discussion forums, part of the Related Topics category; Originally Posted by gunflint After 30 years of marriage I have learned a few things. 1.Any new gun (or fishing gear) that remains in the ...

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Thread: Need help convincing the fiance

  1. #16
    Senior Member Array Musketeer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gunflint View Post
    After 30 years of marriage I have learned a few things.

    1.Any new gun (or fishing gear) that remains in the house undetected for over 3 days is considered old equipment. As in, what new gun?

    2. It's always easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask permission.

    TRUST. I assume you have an understanding with your wife. If you have a functioning marriage she knows you do this and really isn't worried. Obviously point 2 doesn't apply to everything and you certainly have some rules set up. "Gee honey, I didn't want to ask your permission to fly to NV and spend $10,000 on prostitutes since you would only say no. Can you forgive me?" See what I mean.

    Early in a relationship though such a cavalier approach to financial well being and disregard for the trust given to you by your partner is with regards to the above two suggestions is unacceptable.

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  3. #17
    Member Array gunflint's Avatar
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    No, I have an understanding with myself. I am confident in my ability to decide for myself what I can afford and what I can't. I trust my wife's ability to do the same. That whole Nevada thing is just offensive.

    If you're getting married without having "trust & financial issues" worked out in advance you're in a world of hurt from the get go.

    I would no longer let my wife decide if I "need" more guns than I would want to decide if she needs a new Jeep. We've both been around enough to know that about each other. We are both adults and treat each other accordingly.

    Also, although you may consider a young bride having an elaborate wedding as a need, I see it as a want. If she's that concerned about money and responsibility, she can go to the courthouse, get married in a civil ceremony and save thousands of dollars. And some of that money can be used to purchase more "needed" guns.

  4. #18
    VIP Member Array Supertac45's Avatar
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    I'd explain to her that your job as a police officer is a dangerous job that requires ou to stay alart at all times and that these weapons will be there for protection of your family. The gang problems in Wisconsin is only going to get worse with MS13 setting up in that area. Good luck.
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  5. #19
    Member Array chiboxer's Avatar
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    Thank you all who posted. These are quite thought provoking answers.
    Si vis pacem, parabellum

  6. #20
    Senior Member Array Musketeer's Avatar
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    Gunflint, I think we actually agree with one another. I did not mean to insinuate that YOU would head off to Nevada to blow cash on prostitutes! I was only tying to illustrate that there ARE limits to the "Beg Forgiveness" line of thought.

    The advice we are trying to give is to a "newbie" though. He hasn't been through the marriage wars as I, or certainly you with 20 years on me, have. I too have done the "beg forgiveness" thing but always with something that I knew forgiveness would not really be needed because there was trust, responsibility and understanding. I believe your cases have probably been similar.

    When throwing advice to a marriage newbie we must be carefull. It is easy enough for them to really believe the machismo "I wear the pants" and "beg forgiveness" lines when they are at a state in their relationship where the trust is just now being established. We also do not know if these people are coming from the fanatsy world of "all it takes is love." I would rather scare the snot out of a couple, cause them to have a discussion (and perhaps fight) and really address issues of trust and responsibility now, even if it stops the wedding, than see them go into the marriage blind and prime for the divorce, and possible child complications, that will follow.

    Never assume the person you are giving advice to is seeing it through the same lense as you do.

  7. #21
    Member Array gunflint's Avatar
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    Musketeer,
    I agree with you 100%. A couple that has been together for over 30 years is on a completely different level than newbies. Sometimes I forget that. And although sometimes you miss the intensity of a budding relationship, there is a comfort level achieved after time (some refer to this as surrender) that is hard to beat also.

  8. #22
    Distinguished Member Array AutoFan's Avatar
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    Both your new gun and the wedding (beyond the basic civil or religious ceremonies) are "wants". Most of the weddings I've attended, the price of the gun would a very minor amount compared to the cost of the wedding. If this is not the case for you, then perhaps you do need to work out when the finances will allow for the gun purchase. But beware of commiting to a marriage with someone who does not respect your desires.

  9. #23
    VIP Member Array havegunjoe's Avatar
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    You are not alone now and it is a give and take world. You have to compromise to some degree or she will just go out and buy diamonds whenever the mood strikes her. Are these guns going to seriously impact the type of wedding you are planning? If so maybe you can reduce the list to one until after things are paid for. I'm not saying you give up buying guns, you have to draw the line at that. But you have to compromise some in life.
    DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH. LIBERTY IS A WELL ARMED LAMB CONtestING THE VOTE.

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  10. #24
    Member Array jpedone76's Avatar
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    Wife's are usually always going to complain about you buying more guns. You aren't married yet so I suggest you buy a motorcycle and a bunch of guns NOW!!! I usually get what I want because I mention the gun I want non-stop till my wifey finally gives in. I wish my wife would see my love of guns is comparable to her love of shoes...Good luck man!

  11. #25
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    Wait a minute! You're not even married yet...buying guns after marriage isn't going to get any easier. You better get a few things 'compromised' in your favor...REAL SOON!
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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  12. #26
    VIP Member Array Supertac45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    Wait a minute! You're not even married yet...buying guns after marriage isn't going to get any easier. You better get a few things 'compromised' in your favor...REAL SOON!
    My other thought, exactly, or forget it.
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  13. #27
    Member Array seedoubleyou's Avatar
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    Hmm. She won't let you get a gun. And your not married yet. Get out now, while you can. (And it won't cost you thousands of dollars in legal fees)
    Just kidding. But if you plan on doing life with this girl... umm I mean spending the rest of your life with this girl. Then you really should both make sure that you both understand what is important to each other now. i.e. for you, maybe your gun addiction, protecting her, or for her maybe it's clothes or jewelry..etc. And each should repect what the other feels is important. All kidding aside. Good luck and I hope you will be as happily married as I am. (Matter of fact, our 1st anniversary is this saturday)
    CW

  14. #28
    Senior Member Array Pitmaster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gunflint View Post
    After 30 years of marriage I have learned a few things.

    1.Any new gun (or fishing gear) that remains in the house undetected for over 3 days is considered old equipment. As in, what new gun?

    2. It's always easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask permission.
    DING, DING, DING, We have a winner.

    I don't complain about my wife's purchases. No matter how stupid I think they are. We both have our own discretionary funds that either can spend on whatever we want. Although we did agree that "escorts" are off limits.
    Pitmaster

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    HAGAR: To sign a peace treaty with the King of England.
    HELGA: Then why take all those weapons?
    HAGAR: First we gotta negotiate...

  15. #29
    New Member Array zzrider's Avatar
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    My 2 cents

    Being married 26 years, heres my two cents worth. Both of you are going to have interests/ priorities in different things.Yours is guns, hers is wanting to have a fabulous wedding and honeymoon. Save enough money to do both. (tell her the .45 is what you want for a wedding gift). My wife has no interest in guns whatsoever, yet after a year of marriage she bought me a stainless ruger mark II 22 for Christmas one year. Last week I brought home a Ruger Security-Six
    .357 magnum. (told her about it after I bought it) The roof didn't cave in, lightning didn't strike, I'm still here to write this.......Damn I love my wife! Good luck to both of you!

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