When a guest, family, firearms, and touching a gun w/o permission

This is a discussion on When a guest, family, firearms, and touching a gun w/o permission within the General Firearm Discussion forums, part of the Related Topics category; PS - Thank you strangers. I know this is all odd to ask on-line. But I don't want to ask my family and my close ...

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Thread: When a guest, family, firearms, and touching a gun w/o permission

  1. #16
    VIP Member Array Thanis's Avatar
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    PS -

    Thank you strangers. I know this is all odd to ask on-line. But I don't want to ask my family and my close friends are just to close. In addition, I don't want to get my wife involved.

    This is something only pro-gun strangers (acquaintances?) can understand and provide good feedback on (without complication). Well that, or a family counselor.

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  3. #17
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    I think it's more about control.... and who's going to submit, and who's going to "win" the argument.

    My mother hated guns. I left mine in my car whenever I was there.
    Two points... 1) she shouldn't have touched the gun, 2) but it shouldn't have been left sitting there in the first place. Both of you were wrong.

    You wanted honest opinions.

  4. #18
    jfl
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    Distinguished Member Array jfl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanis View Post
    If I were to be blunt, she is just to old to change, and considering her age ...
    Hey, I am the same age, give or take a few months, and I learn new things every day

    Seriously, as another poster said, you only got one mom, you'll be her little boy all her life ... and you'll miss that after she passes away.

    Carry however you want and refuse to discuss ... agree to disagree.
    The first rule of a gunfight: "Don't be there !"
    The second rule: "Bring enough gun"

    jfl
    (NRA Life Member/Instructor - GOA - IDPA - GSSF - ex-IHMSA)

  5. #19
    Senior Member Array cwblanco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by usmcj View Post
    switch feet with the "shoes"......

    In YOUR house, would you relinquish control to another person ?

    I wouldn't. I'm on your mom's side. In my house, firearms related issues go by my rules, or they just go.
    Agreed. The concealed firearm should have been left for cleaning at home. Because concealment apparently was compromised, he needlessly created a confrontaton. The concealed carry weapon should have been placed under his actual physical control when she entered the room. [He already know her attitude]. He should have let her see him pack it away empty without pronouncing macho words, thereby keeping his mother feeling happy, safe, and secure. He easily could have loaded it later privately (e.g. in the crapper) if he felt it necessary to carry in her home. Of course, I am talking from a CHL standpoint where the rule is always conceal and never reveal.

    In summary, people should learn to take steps to avoid needless family confrontations. With a little common sense, one can achieve the same objectives without ruffling anyone's feathers, particularly mama's feathers.

  6. #20
    VIP Member Array Thanis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cwblanco View Post
    ...pronouncing macho words, thereby keeping his mother feeling happy, safe, and secure. He easily could have loaded it later privately (e.g. in the crapper) if he felt it necessary to carry in her home....
    She made the first ultimatum, after I tried to avoid confrontation. Nothing macho about what I did. I'm 35 years old and I'm not going to be punshed. She simply lacks the authority to tell me how to carry in public and she did not like that.

    A few of you are missing that this is not a home owner who has a problem with loaded guns. That night I had a brother, in the house, with a loaded Glock 32 and wife with a loaded P99C. This is in addition to my parent's loaded shotgun and mother's loaded .22 LR revolver.

    The only issue was that I would carry in public, at work, etc. with one in the chamber. In addition I would not talk about it, and she was demanding I talk about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by HotGuns View Post
    ...She obviously doesn't understand some things and its on you to bring her up to speed....
    Sit down and tell her why you feel the way you do....Trying to make an issue out of something that she doesn't agree with isn't going to solve anything...
    She does not care to understand only to be understood. I could lie about how I carry (to make her happy) or I must carry without one in the chamber (to maker her happy).

    Quote Originally Posted by HotGuns View Post
    ...Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. She is your mother and even if she lives to be 100, you will always be her child.
    I know. But I think you (Hotguns) are a carry one in the barrel type of guy. Would you change how you CC in public because your mother demanded that you do?

    I really did tried to aviod this issue with her. Once she caught a clue that I carried with one in the chamber (in public), some type of confrontation was assured.

    I had considered never telling her that I had a CCW, but my brother & wife took the same class. Was not something I could keep private.

    Quote Originally Posted by jfl View Post
    Hey, I am the same age, give or take a few months, and I learn new things every day....
    It really is not about age. At this point in her life, she is not going to try and listen on this issue. I'm not willing to lie or change. We are both dogs that can't learn a new trick.

    I'm just not sure I should feel guilt about it.

  7. #21
    Ex Member Array BikerRN's Avatar
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    While you may be right, or may not, ask yourself this: "Is this really worth getting in to a urinating match over?"

    Parents aren't around for ever so take the time to enjoy them while you still can.

    Biker

  8. #22
    Member Array chipperi's Avatar
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    I was going to say to yell BANG real loud as soon as she touched it. But at that age could be bad.

    In all seriousness if you knew your mom felt that way, you should have just cleaned it at home or if you were staying for an extended time cleaned it in your room or outside.

  9. #23
    VIP Member Array Rob72's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by limatunes View Post
    I'm not sure why it's a huge deal that she touched your gun.
    Because "69 yo woman who keeps a .22 LR by the bed", "Glock", and "grab" all assosciate with "Boom". Foolish/uninformed knows no age limit.

    Equally, I would not have weapons off my person. Ever. In such an environment. If you carry in her home, keep it secured on your body,or in your vehicle.

  10. #24
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    Simple solution. Since she has agreed that you can carry a loaded, concealed weapon in her home, do so.

    But don't play with it. Bring the other stuff to shoot, and leave the CCW holstered and concealed.

    That should alleviate any future issues.

    Matt
    Battle Plan (n) - a list of things that aren't going to happen if you are attacked.
    Blame it on Sixto - now that is a viable plan.

  11. #25
    VIP Member Array Thanis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MattLarson View Post
    Simple solution. Since she has agreed that you can carry a loaded, concealed weapon in her home, do so.

    But don't play with it. Bring the other stuff to shoot, and leave the CCW holstered and concealed.

    That should alleviate any future issues.

    Matt
    True and simple. I'm getting caught in the drama.

  12. #26
    New Member Array wallask's Avatar
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    It's her house. Try and abibe by her rules. Be thankful that you have a mom. I wish I still did.

  13. #27
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    I agree, it does go against common sense thoughts on always being prepared. However, we should strive to honor our parents and especially their wishes in their own home. Your mother is 69, she won't be around forever. All other issues raised in posts aside, including her touching your weapon and her own loaded weapon, what is really the most important thing here, and especially to you? Is it having a good relationship with your mom and enjoying the time you have left with her, or getting your way in her home? I won't begin to tell you what to do, but I do know where I would stand - love my mom and abide by her wishes in her home. Our parents are gone in the blink of an eye and we don't get that time back. Not ever.

  14. #28
    Member Array Ranger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by usmcj View Post
    switch feet with the "shoes"......

    In YOUR house, would you relinquish control to another person ?

    I wouldn't. I'm on your mom's side. In my house, firearms related issues go by my rules, or they just go.
    I'm with you. If you don't like my rules, don't come to my house, and go shoot somewhere else.
    When in doubt, just ask yourself, "What would Theodore Roosevelt do?"

    Every society is 3 missed meals away from anarchy.

  15. #29
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    Its your mother and its her house... I see the problem, and it is one of respect.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  16. #30
    VIP Member Array Thanis's Avatar
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    Thanks to those who replied. To those who keep mentioning respecting someone rules in their house, you are missing the point.

    I don't live with my mother. She is demanding I not carry, at work, in the car, shopping, with one in the chamber.

    NBD, I think I have it figured out now, I'm just not comfrontable ignoring my mother, and I got caught in emotion. It really is none of her business how I carry (outside of her home).

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