There I fixed that for youWhy? If this is for defensive purposes, well, like Frank Zappa said, regarding that certain part of a woman's body, "anything over a mouthfull is wasted!" Adding more flash bang and recoil won't make an assailant any deadder. So I think the .38 special and the 9mm, and the +P variants of both, are the ideal defensive rounds (that, of course, assumes you're capable of putting the bullet where you think it should go. If not, you may as well have a .22). Both the .38 and 9mm have enough kinetic energy at fifty yards to crush human bone - that's good enough for normal defensive range.
But as to your specific questions: a .357 snubby is pretty hard for some people to control, even if it's all steel. If you need to make a second shot, you won't have time to do target re-acquisition, if you aren't a good shot. And it will hurt your hand to shoot it, if you shoot 1000 rounds per day.
A .45 is a big heavy bullet that has more than adequate penetration, but a very steep trajectory. If your target is moving toward or away, you'll need to consult trajectory tables to compensate for elevation, unless you're very skilled.
Of the two, I'd take the .357, but not in anything less than a S&W 686 or a Ruger GP100, and not with less than a four inch barrel.
Why don't you get a nice S&W model 64? There are lots of them available for cheap because of PD, prison, and security service trade ins. A nice, stainless, .38 six-shooter, with a heavy 4" barrel and combat sights, they're available for around $300.