My 2 cents:
The OP mentions "think Castle Doctrine" when I do not know how that applies if he is not in his vehicle (I do not know the laws about NC). Second, just a observation from your posts and what has happened to you:
I am glad you did not have to shoot the unarmed man because it sounds like you would have if you lost sight of his hands. Sounds to me like you were itching for or looking for a reason to shoot.I was waiting for him to attempt to put his hands where I couldn't see them or start towards me because he would have experienced all to fast the mozambique drill
Just my humble opinion. Either way I think it was handled badly. And, out of curiosity...if the area you are in is so bad, why on earth did you let your GF go check on the reseraunt alone?