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Do you ever talk about your combat experience?

3K views 44 replies 35 participants last post by  Sig sauer 
#1 ·
I just finished watching a movie about an old man dying. (Tuesdays with Morrie. A very good movie for those so inclined.) And it got me to thinking about my father. He is 86 and dying of Alzheimer's. I am not sure why I recall this, but one thing that I do remember as a child is that he would never talk to us about his WWII combat experience. My brother and I asked him on several occasions throughout our childhood, but he always changed the subject.

I have also seen this in other combat veterans. They just have a reluctance to discuss combat with other non-combat veterans.

I sort of can understand, but I was wondering if anyone can shed some additional light on this matter.
 
#2 ·
Unless you were there, you won't understand. That's the culture of veterans. Things you do and things you see, they are so horrific you don't want anyone to experience the same. War isn't glorious. War isn't even hell. It's worse than hell.

Combat is intimate. Think of talking about combat experiences as the same as sexual experiences with one's spouse. You can understand that some things just don't get talked about.

Some don't have a problem with it, some do. My grandfather was a WWI and WWII combat veteran (US Army 42nd Rainbow Div out of Oshkosh, WI) that lived until 99 years old. The things he saw. My father has over 100 hours of his interview with his father about all the war experiences. My father told me when he thinks I'm ready, he will let me listen to them. I'm 27 years old and still haven't heard them.

I've been in combat. I'd wish paralysis on someone before I wish combat on them.
 
#6 ·
Unless you were there, you won't understand.
That sums it up for me.

I did what the Marine Corps needed me to do and by the grace of God I was able to lead Marines in combat. I do not recount my experiences, but I don't have issues with them. I have found that other Marines do not tend talk about it as well, I feel that's part of the Warrior Ethos.

If someone needs to talk about them to clear the soul, then by all means, find a professional or at least a loved one to talk with.
 
#3 ·
My father is 87 and is a WWII vet (Europe), and all of my life he has freely talked about his experiences during that time, though I wouldn't say he had combat experience. He was an aircraft mechanic, and their airfields were typically bombed and straffed from time to time. They were required to have weapons with them, depending on the perceived level of threat.

I know many veterans don't care to talk about their service. IIRC, in "Flags of Our Fathers", the Medal of Honor winner/medic (I can't think of his name) didn't relate hardly anything to his family regarding his experiences.

I'm no psychiatrist here, but it seems to me that relating those combat experiences can re-open depression issues, nightmares, grieving issues from lost buddies, survivor guilt, reminders of their experiences with fear, stress and anxiety, etc.

I am sorry to hear about your father's state of health.
 
#5 ·
At my Fathers funeral I met two men he served with during the Korean Conflict, and they told me things about that time of Dad's life he never let me in on. When we started the remodel of his house a year after his death, I found a small wooden box, tucked way back in a crawlspace under the stairs containing a Bronze Star Medal, and two Purple Hearts with the paperwork, along with other citations and paperwork.
At that point I realized why he was so concerned when I joined the Marines "You know their job is to die, right". I was lead to believe is enlistment was as a jock, which was a partial truth, as he played a year on the Army basketball team. I guess that's what he wanted to remember.

Some stories are better left untold.
 
#8 ·
Seldom.

Like semperfi.45, leading Marines in combat is one of the proudest accomplishments of my life......but most people simply can't relate to the enormity of the responsibility. It just doesn't translate for the average guy/gal.

Having said that, it is fun to get together on occassion with some buddies who've "done that" and shoot the bull. But even then, it's about the people and all the fun/funny times......the ugly stuff doesn't get mentioned. It doesn't have to be......
 
#9 · (Edited)
Originally Posted by Tubby45
Unless you were there, you won't understand.

I came home after a deployment in the gulf during the first gulf war and while visiting with my great uncle he began opening up about his experiences in the Pacific theater during WWII. I was enthrawled, I knew he was there but he never discussed it til then. When he died last year I got the diary he kept during his time in the war, it's a treasure of information I never knew about.

It wasn't until after my grandfather died that I heard he was the Crew Chief of the Enola Gay, the bomber that droped the first Hydrogen Bomb on Heroshima.
My grandmother worked as a telephone operator for the Army Air Corps during the bombs devolopment. She hated Gen.Dolittle, but the stories she told me (after I joined the Navy and a combat deployment) are as scary as they are funny.

My wife's uncle was also in the Navy during WWII, in the Pacific theater as well. After I first met him and talked with him a little about my (very limited) experiencies, he pulled me into his office (read: man cave), shut the door, poured the whiskey, and began telling me the stories of his 'island hopping' experiencies that concluded, for him, at Iwo Jima. He was there when the first flag was raised at the top of the mountian (I forget the name) and he also was there, AND snapped a couple of photographs (at distance) when the Marines raised the second flag (the famous photo that we all see, know, and honor)! Amazing stuff......he showed me all the pictures he took, and he took quite a few. He was a landing craft coxwian in support of all the landings, but remained on Iwo Jima for an extended time while his ship continued on. He continued that tradition with me, sharing stories of the war and his good whiskey, right up til his death three years ago. I was deployed at the time and my wife told me he asked if I was doing good and staying "outta trouble". I regret I was not part of his honor guard when he was laid to rest. His wife later told me he never talked about his war experiences with anyone after his last buddy' who was in the war as well, had passed away.
This stuff I never heard until after I 'went in' and came back with a few stories of my own. Even though I wasn't 'there' for some reason they 'shared' those experiences with me. Now I understand a little better and hold the stories and memories with reverence and honor.

Our country's veterens and hero's are disappearing much to quickly.
 
#10 ·
My step dad's father was in the Pacific Theater during WWII. He started on the bridge as a navigator but then was a corpsman. He was on Iwo Jima, Midway, et al. Never ever talked about it. I can understand, especially that job.

He died a few months ago.
 
#12 ·
Iwo as a corpsman.......do you know if he knew John Bradley?
 
#11 ·
My grandmother (rest her soul) was a young schoolgirl and thought to get a Jim Dandy report from her grandfather on his time in the Civil War.
His gruff reply was, "Vast badt nuff beink dere mitoudt talkink aboudt idt."
 
#42 ·
"Vast badt nuff beink dere mitoudt talkink aboudt idt."
This may be the best thing I've ever read.

I talk about my experiences with those I think it may help, or enlighten. I still work with troops, and others who may go in harms way, so I see no reason to keep my insights (meager as they may be) to myself. I do not, however, talk about the "bad stuff" with friends and family who have never served and will (thankfully) never fully understand.
 
#13 ·
Don't know. His name was Ken Huebbe (hyOO-bee). Never mentioned names. All anyone ever knew was he was in the Pacific as a corpsman and island hopped around there. He was at Iwo, Midway, Marshall, and a few others. I'll try to find out what ship he served off of.

ETA: During WWII, I believe he lived in Grand Rapids, MI. He also lived in Naples, FL but I think that was during the 70's (my stepdad got his degree from college down there). He retired in Fond du Lac, WI in the mid 80s.
 
#26 ·
John Bradley was the corpsman that participated in the flag raising at Iwo. His son Jack wrote "Flags of our Fathers". He grew up in Appleton WI, not far from Fond du Lac...... My grandparents were good friends of the family, but I never had the privilege to meet the man.
 
#15 ·
my father served in vietnam; he only ever related one combat-related story to me, and he told a very sterile, matter-of-fact version of what happened. it was the only time he ever talked about it, and i never pressed him for any other stories. the closest he ever gets is to give commentary while watching war movies: "they would have never done that in real life," "wow, that did it right, there," "wow a bunch of bull**** that is." his favorite fictionalized war movie is "saving private ryan"; in his opinion, it's the most honest war movie ever made.
 
#16 ·
My dad just turned 89 last month, he served in the Pacific during WWII. To this day he won't talk about the war. When I was growing up had a neighbor who spent WWII in Japanese POW camps, he was one of the survivors of the Bataan Death March. I was too young and dumb to know what he had gone through at the time. This man lived through a hell that no one should ever have to endure. I can still remember him raising the flag at sunrise and lowering it at sunset everyday. I remember the day a kid rode by on a bike and threw a paint balloon at him while he was lowering the flag. Missed him and hit the flag. He pulled a gun and shot the kid, hit him in the leg, no serious damage done to the kid. When he went to trial I remember most of the adults in the neighborhood testified as character witnesses for him. Judge gave him 30 days suspended sentence and pay hospital bills. Of course that was back in the mid 60's. Today he would not be as lucky. Like many vet's he did not talk about the war. If asked all he would say was he was a POW.
 
#17 ·
Do you ever talk about your combat experience?
Why? My uncles never did. One was in the Navy and the other the Air Force, the latter of which was a turret gunner on a B17. I learned what I knew from my aunt and mother. Folks in general recount the good times in life. One's duty to country, or job in the armed services is usually discussed between those who already know the biggest part as they have similar experiences--it's kind of a members only thing. I don't know of anyone who has defended this country, or fired a shot, or bled for the cause to be looking for recognition, or bragging about those times. You see--there's no real good time, or no real good reason to discuss things like that.
 
#18 ·
I was born not long after WW II so I knew many veterans of that war, unfortunately most have passed on. Some would talk about it but most would not. My Father-in-law was a supply truck driver which we realized years later was one of the most dangerous jobs over there as that was what the enemy was going after.

The one thing that I found was the ones that wanted to about their time over there were usually the one that were least involved. I also found that it seemed that those in the Navy were much more talkative than those in the Army. I think the saying "War is Hell" pretty much describes it. I was sent notice that I was being drafted one month before they started the troup withdrawal from Viet Nam so I never did get drafted but many of my friends did.
 
#19 ·
I've had several combat vets open up and share their stories now that I am in the military. Also a lot of my "seniors" will tell us about their last deployment, because they need to train us for the next one and first hand experience works pretty well. Even in the world of the infantry there are still certain actions that are not mentioned, or only talked about by those who were actually there though. Those actions seem to be the ones that leave the biggest emotional scars.
 
#22 ·
Yes--Beirut, and the Marine barracks bombing, that was my time. You must have been on ACB alert at the time.
 
#24 ·
No I do not talk about combat, even at the American Legion post. Most of us do not, though we talk about funny things that happened. Also about some of our buds. But that is about it. I have found that most if not all that brag were never in combat.
 
#25 ·
Never used to talk about things, but over the last couple of years as the children have grown and gone there ways,and a couple have served we have talked, and with the INTERNET its almost to easy to set behind the screen and discuss things that happened.

I was one of the lucky ones had a great support group, and my elders whom served from WW-1 forward all ways stressed never be ashamed of your duty and job, and don't let it eat at your soul until you die a drunk.

The horrendous is left unsaid for the most part. And depending on weather I want to ,or not face the nightmares that come with memories
 
#28 ·
I don't, because I don't have any to talk about.

My sojourn in VietNam was "pre-war", 1962-1963. The closest I came to combat was when the VC dropped a couple of mortar rounds on the Nha Trang airfield one night.

My dad served in the 96th Infantry Division in WW2 and was WIA on Okinawa. He never talked about it. He even refused to join the VFW or American Legion.
 
#29 ·
No never I talk with other combat veterans in multi-branch of service but we know not to ask the Bad stuff just talk about the funny differances ! and I have made peace with my ghost the first few years back my wife suffered the most.
Just Cause -Panama and Desert Shield/Storm . and never with Civilian!
 
#30 ·
Dad flew B-17s against Germany in daylight prior to long range fighter escorts ... he won't talk either and neither will my uncles.

History indicates there was 10 and up to 18 percent casualty rate on some raids.
 
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