Anyone else going through "man nesting"?

Anyone else going through "man nesting"?

This is a discussion on Anyone else going through "man nesting"? within the New Members Introduce Yourself forums, part of the DefensiveCarry.com Forum Office category; Hi All, Thanks for the great forum, I have learned a lot here after a month of lurking or so. Was always a little into ...

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  1. #1
    New Member Array captmarc's Avatar
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    Anyone else going through "man nesting"?

    Hi All,

    Thanks for the great forum, I have learned a lot here after a month of lurking or so. Was always a little into guns, even as a kid, with my replica .357 magnum pellet gun (pidgeons beware!). As I got older I left them behind, too busy chasing another kind of game

    Now, married, and just had a little baby girl, and have begun a sort of "man nesting", which I will define as an maniacal obsession with protecting my wife and child. This of course, in my mind, means assembling an arsenal for a moment or scenario I pray will never happen.

    I am struggling with the thought of a gun accident in my home vs. a situation that (if I did not have a firearm) I would never be able to forgive myself for not stopping.

    My current plan is to get a biometric fingerprint safe in my nightstand drawer, that much I feel pretty good about (of course your thoughts are welcome!!). The firearm decision is what keeps changing daily. I am between a Glock 21 SF and a Glock 19. I am leaning toward the 19 because of cost of ammo, and I want to practice a lot. I like the reliability, no safety, pull the trigger and go bang. Not a big fan of revolvers. Sister is a Chicago cop and likes Glocks, Brother in law is a Chicago cop and likes Sig.

    My next struggle is whether to Conceal Carry. I am applying for a license in Rockland County, NY, and I know I am going to try to get the most unrestricted license I can. Not easy here... My thoughts vary from "Do I really need to have a gun with me all the time, or just in my home?" I wear a dress shirt tucked in, so I have ordered a kangaroo holster to practice with my airsoft Glock 19, and see how I like it around the house, ease of draw, etc. I am also terrified of an accidental discharge.

    The final issue is the wife is really against all of this. I have tried to explain to her how seriously I take gun safety and that this gun would never leave the safe unless someone was about to lose their life. I am not sure how to bring up Conceal Carry, and think I should just get her on board with the locked up home defense firearm first, then ease her into carry, if I even choose to do it.

    Sorry for rambling, maybe I should have broken this up into multiple posts, but I have a lot of things to think about here, and would really appreciate any of your thoughts! Thanks fellas


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array BigEFan's Avatar
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    Welcome from Central California.

    Congrats on the little one too.
    Lex et Libertas — Semper Vigilo, Fortis, Paratus, et Fidelis!

    "Not only do the people who put their lives on the line to protect the rest of us deserve better, we all deserve better than to have our own security undermined by those who undermine law enforcement." -Thomas Sowell

  3. #3
    Distinguished Member Array Gunnutty's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum. Your fear of an accidental discharge is going to be felt by your wife. The only way your wife will ever be comfortable around firearms is if you are. When you figure out where the firearm fits in your plans and become comfortable with it, then your loved ones will begin to relax as well.
    You have taken the first steps, don't stop short. Good luck in your journey.
    We will be much better off when we learn to deal with things as they really are, instead of how we wish them to be!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array HowardCohodas's Avatar
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    1. I am not convinced of the reliability of biometric readers. The safe instructions even tell you to scan more than one finger. I personally would not want to depend on that technology for quick access.

    2. My approach to caliber is to get the largest caliber you are confortable shooting. Some range time with rentals should help you answer that question. With respect to brand, find one that seems comfortable in the hand and while shooting. Again range time with rentals will help. My choice was the M&P 45. I liked the way it felt. And I could shoot it with respectable speed and accuracy.

    3. Concealing depends on concealability depending on body type, typical dress requirements and social interactions. My solution ended up being a SmartCarry holster. Not the fastest, but it covered the other requirements above.

    4. My wife is not supportive and barely tolerant of my even owining a pistol let alone carrying. I don't arm myself in front of her, so it avoids the issue. The only time she outed me was when she was getting friendly. She figured it out. She didn't verbalize it. I didn't mention it.
    Howard
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    Politically Incorrect Self Defense

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum. And welcome to daddihood. There is nothing better (until she turns into a monstrous teenager ). I can tell you right now, that your values will change radically. You have probably already noticed. Nothing is going to be more important than protecting the two most important women in your life.

    It is all an education process. I have not experienced it to the same degree others on this forum have. But as your wife sees the importance of protecting her family from harm, she will come over and allow you to do what you need to do. Be gentle, be kind, but firm as to the importance you place on it.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array NYcarry's Avatar
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    I own mostly Glocks for handguns, but perhaps you would have luck talking to her and show her the three safeties that XD pistols offer.
    Trigger, Grip and the new thumb safety added.

    Also educate yourself and her with the four rules of firearms safety.

    Also show her around this site here, as well as thecorneredcat.com.

    If you went with a Glock another safety option is the NY1 or NY2 trigger springs there increase the trigger pull to 8 and 12 pounds respectively.
    It would make the pull much less accidental.

    Good luck and stay safe.

  7. #7
    Distinguished Member Array sniper58's Avatar
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    Welcome from Colorado! I'm glad I have two boys in their 20's now. I don't think I would have tolerated a teenaged girl in the house. I'm afraid that anyone who came to pick her up would be on my suspect list, especially if they looked like Mr. Tackleboxhead or if they were auditioning to replace the peacock on NBC-TV!
    Tim
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  8. #8
    VIP Member Array Ridgeline's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum from Dallas. The discharge issue is easy to remedy "trigger finger straight". Get with a local range and practice, practice, practice. Although not a Glock fan they are hard to beat, otherwise like a gillion LEO's would be wrong. Take care of that family, and YES I would carry all the time, otherwise you will not have it if you ever need it.
    "Eternity is Too Long to be Wrong"

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  9. #9
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    Pennsylvania greetings .......



    Plus - I reiterate what Ridgeline just said!
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    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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    Welcome from Middle Tennessee!

  11. #11
    New Member Array captmarc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sniper58 View Post
    Welcome from Colorado! I'm glad I have two boys in their 20's now. I don't think I would have tolerated a teenaged girl in the house. I'm afraid that anyone who came to pick her up would be on my suspect list, especially if they looked like Mr. Tackleboxhead or if they were auditioning to replace the peacock on NBC-TV!
    I don't even want to think about the teenage years

  12. #12
    Member Array JudoJake's Avatar
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    I think that concealed carry is the way to go. Have the thing on you when you need it. However you might want to take baby steps to get their. You are new to firearms and you want to start with the basics, firearms safety, function, marksmanship, malfunctions, reloads and stuff like that. These skills take a little while to develop and you shouldn't be packing a gun around until you have learned them. Not necessarily mastered them, but at least can do them. By the time you learn all of these skills, you will have been around guns long enough to know if you really want to take it to the next step. Then start learning about use of force and laws pertaining to this subject.

    Basically, I like the way you think. Pace yourself and take it one step at a time. When my brother wanted to get a concealed carry license and a gun, I gave him a tactical folder. I told him to pack the knife around, because if he couldn't stay motivated or interested in packing the knife around, then he would never be motivated to pack a gun. He packed the knife for a while, still dose. He bought a gun later, and has practiced with it once. He wants to practice more, and still doesn't have a concealed carry. I think he is right on track.

  13. #13
    New Member Array captmarc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gunnutty View Post
    Welcome to the forum. Your fear of an accidental discharge is going to be felt by your wife. The only way your wife will ever be comfortable around firearms is if you are. When you figure out where the firearm fits in your plans and become comfortable with it, then your loved ones will begin to relax as well.
    You have taken the first steps, don't stop short. Good luck in your journey.

    Very good point, thank you

  14. #14
    Member Array JudoJake's Avatar
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    Also my brother is in the same situation as you. Married with new children.

  15. #15
    New Member Array captmarc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HowardCohodas View Post
    1. I am not convinced of the reliability of biometric readers. The safe instructions even tell you to scan more than one finger. I personally would not want to depend on that technology for quick access.

    Could you elaborate more on this please? Have you found any info of these safes failing? Do you have any other suggestions for safe but extremely quick access?

    2. My approach to caliber is to get the largest caliber you are confortable shooting. Some range time with rentals should help you answer that question. With respect to brand, find one that seems comfortable in the hand and while shooting. Again range time with rentals will help. My choice was the M&P 45. I liked the way it felt. And I could shoot it with respectable speed and accuracy.

    I was feeling good about the .45, but everything I read says the 9mm is comparable in lethality, with ability to put rounds on the target quicker and more controllably with less muzzle flash. I am going to shoot both before I purchase obviously, and we do have a 10 round max magazine capacity here in NY. (nothing dear old dad can't fix with a package in the mail though, never would leave the house of course)

    3. Concealing depends on concealability depending on body type, typical dress requirements and social interactions. My solution ended up being a SmartCarry holster. Not the fastest, but it covered the other requirements above.

    6 ft, 290, big barrel chest big belly. Not sure how I would feel with a loaded weapon that close to the next born

    4. My wife is not supportive and barely tolerant of my even owining a pistol let alone carrying. I don't arm myself in front of her, so it avoids the issue. The only time she outed me was when she was getting friendly. She figured it out. She didn't verbalize it. I didn't mention it.
    Good luck on that, my wife knows if I am serious about something that is the way it is, but I would like her to be tolerant and understanding here. At the end of the day the firearm is coming into the house.

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