Man Attacked by Witchcraft Opens Fire on Neighbor's "Voodoo" House in Self-Defense - Page 3

Man Attacked by Witchcraft Opens Fire on Neighbor's "Voodoo" House in Self-Defense

This is a discussion on Man Attacked by Witchcraft Opens Fire on Neighbor's "Voodoo" House in Self-Defense within the In the News: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by SAnta01 Hmm... I think his cheese has slipped off his cracker. No doubt a spirit pushed the cheese off!...

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Thread: Man Attacked by Witchcraft Opens Fire on Neighbor's "Voodoo" House in Self-Defense

  1. #31
    Ex Member Array JOHNSMITH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAnta01 View Post
    Hmm... I think his cheese has slipped off his cracker.
    No doubt a spirit pushed the cheese off!


  2. #32
    Member Array crstrode's Avatar
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    Voodoo, Muslims, Nuns, and Pepperoni

    Lets change a few words and see how it reads.

    change Voodoo Black Magic to Islam
    Change Witchcraft to Muslims


    A 57-year-old resident of the town of Nitro, W.VA, Joel Marshall Turley, told police that he opened fire on a neighbor's home because it was a house of Islam, and he was being attacked by Muslims.

    or


    change Voodoo Black Magic to Catholics
    Change Witchcraft to Nuns

    A 57-year-old resident of the town of Nitro, W.VA, Joel Marshall Turley, told police that he opened fire on a neighbor's home because it was a house of Catholics, and he was being attacked by Nuns.


    or


    change Voodoo Black Magic to Pizza
    Change Witchcraft to Pepperoni

    A 57-year-old resident of the town of Nitro, W.VA, Joel Marshall Turley, told police that he opened fire on a neighbor's home because it was a house of Pizza, and he was being attacked by Pepperoni.
    "The natural progress of things is for liberty to yeild, and government to gain ground." - Thomas Jefferson

  3. #33
    Ex Member Array JOHNSMITH's Avatar
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    hey, pepperoni can hurt if it hits you flat side on! Like a delicious slap in the face.

  4. #34
    Distinguished Member Array AutoFan's Avatar
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    "Arresting officers noted that Turley appeared to be mentally unsound."

    Really? I wonder what was their first clue?

  5. #35
    Senior Member Array gilraen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jumpwing View Post
    Silver hollow points filled with Holy Water... Helloooooo....


    Someone has been reading too many vampire novels!
    "I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."

  6. #36
    Senior Member Array gilraen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crstrode View Post
    A 57-year-old resident of the town of Nitro, W.VA, Joel Marshall Turley, told police that he opened fire on a neighbor's home because it was a house of Islam, and he was being attacked by Muslims.

    A 57-year-old resident of the town of Nitro, W.VA, Joel Marshall Turley, told police that he opened fire on a neighbor's home because it was a house of Catholics, and he was being attacked by Nuns.

    A 57-year-old resident of the town of Nitro, W.VA, Joel Marshall Turley, told police that he opened fire on a neighbor's home because it was a house of Pizza, and he was being attacked by Pepperoni.
    Not at all a good comparison. Regular religions, and pizza, don't attack from a distance. They attack within range, usually 2d4 feet (street corners, store fronts, your front door, etc). Voodoo has an unlimited range, and a +10 to fear attack.

    Non-believers have an automatic Globe of Invulnerability from any religious effects.

    The guy in the OP was obviously a believer -- that's how voodoo works. You have to believe.
    "I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."

  7. #37
    Senior Member Array Phillep Harding's Avatar
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    -(gaze)-

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