From the Law Dog Files or "I guess that answer would be a Yes" or Why I love Texas".

From the Law Dog Files or "I guess that answer would be a Yes" or Why I love Texas".

This is a discussion on From the Law Dog Files or "I guess that answer would be a Yes" or Why I love Texas". within the In the News: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Friday, August 18, 2006 That didn't hurt -- for long. One of our long-term critters -- part-time dope dealer, occasional thug and full-time poster child ...

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  1. #1
    Member Array Jungle Work's Avatar
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    From the Law Dog Files or "I guess that answer would be a Yes" or Why I love Texas".

    Friday, August 18, 2006
    That didn't hurt -- for long.

    One of our long-term critters -- part-time dope dealer, occasional thug and full-time poster child for retroactive abortions -- has now become an object lesson.

    Apparently, Mr. Critter developed a decidedly one-sided romantic fixation upon the teacher of one of his legion of off-spring. The object of his affections, not appreciating what a singular honour becoming Critter's Baby's Mama # 134 would be, nor desiring such, turned him down.

    Mr. Critter seems to have missed the subtle hint contained in the phrase, "Stay the hell away from me!", because early on the morning in question Mr. Critter decided to pay a visit to the home of said Object Of His Affections.

    Finding no one home after repeatedly hammering on the door and screaming, Mr. Critter departed the premises, only to return shortly.

    As he began to resume his obnoxious activities, the neighbor of the schoolteacher, a middle-aged gentleman whose wife occasionally babysits the infant daughter of the schoolteacher, walked next door to inform Mr. Critter that the schoolteacher was out of town on vacation and to kindly desist from raising Cain on her front porch.

    Mr. Critter promptly whipped a large silver-coloured revolver from his waistband, struck the man across the face with the barrel, knocking the neighbor back and down to one knee. Mr. Critter then proceeded to advance on the neighbor, pointing the gun at him him and loudly screaming: "You want a piece of me, mother****er?! Huh?! You want a piece of me?! I'll **** you up, you ho-ass mother****er! You want a piece of me?!"

    Down on one knee and unable to retreat, the CHL-equipped neighbor skinned his Glock 23 and neatly whomped two .40-calibre slugs through Mr. Critter's brisket. (The detective taking the statement said, "I guess that'd be a 'Yes...'")

    Mr. Critter had the good manners to drop the unloaded Daisy BB pistol with which he had armed himself and expired.

    The officers handed the neighbor a receipt for his Glock and told him to come down to the station and pick it up when the Grand Jury was done.

    Ladies and gentlemen, while the first rule of gunfights is to have a gun, there are two corollaries to that rule:
    a) It should be loaded; and

    b) BB guns don't count.
    *********************************************

    Jungle Work


  2. #2
    Distinguished Member Array SixBravo's Avatar
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    LOLOL I love it. +1 for our side.
    The Gunsite Blog
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    Distinguished Member Array USPnTX's Avatar
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    Probably not nice for me to be giggling my tail off...but I can't help it!!
    "Do not fear those who disagree with you; fear those that do and are too cowardly to admit it" - Napoleon

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    Ya gotta love a story with a happy ending...

    "I surrounded 'em"- Alvin York

    "They're ain't many troubles that a man can't fix with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six"- Jeff Cooper

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    Senior Member Array hsuCowboy98's Avatar
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    nothing beats a feel-good love story....
    Fear No Evil.

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    Ahhhh - (grin) - Mr Lawdog - a consumate story teller
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    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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    That was well told!!

    (The detective taking the statement said, "I guess that'd be a 'Yes...'")
    I loved that part!!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

  9. #9
    Distinguished Member Array 4my sons's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jungle Work View Post
    (The detective taking the statement said, "I guess that'd be a 'Yes...'")
    A detective with a good sence about justified self defense, and a sense of humor to boot.

    Wow, I like Texas even more now.

    "fundamental principle of American law that a government and its agents are under no general duty to provide public services, such as police protection, to any individual citizen." [Warren v. District of Columbia,(D.C. Ct. of Ap., 1981)]
    If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand

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    Love that neighbor! Love the story....well written..."I guess that'd be a 'yes....." LOL

    Texas thanks the neighbor, too! No trial!

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jungle Work View Post
    Friday, August 18, 2006
    That didn't hurt -- for long. One of our long-term critters -- part-time dope dealer, occasional thug and full-time poster child for retroactive abortions -- has now become an object lesson.
    A wonderful discription of some of our baser members of society. Retroactive abortion should be an option that the courts would endorse and use. Equally beautiful prose are the coralaries to always bring a gun to a gun fight: Make sure that it is loaded and BB guns (Toys) dont count.

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    Member Array cpmiv's Avatar
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    Darwinism at its best.
    There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11? (Yuri Orlov [Nicolas Cage] Lord of War)

  13. #13
    Member Array sevesteen's Avatar
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    LawDog is always worth reading, and some of it would even make the Brady Bunch laugh. If you aren't familiar with his work:
    http://thelawdogfiles.blogspot.com/

  14. #14
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    Mr. Critter had the good manners to drop the unloaded Daisy BB pistol with which he had armed himself and expired.
    Sounds like he died due to an acute failure of the victim selection process.

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array swiftyjuan's Avatar
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    Thank you for making my evening LawDog! Now if the Daisy had been loaded, the neighbor could have gotten some serious welts, or could have had his eye put out!
    John
    Assault is a behavior, not a device.

    "Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party

    Lifetime NRA member

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