Thought provoking... story by a mother of a mentally ill child

This is a discussion on Thought provoking... story by a mother of a mentally ill child within the In the News: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by BuckNekkid Thankfully I do not have a similar story about my son, but it was close, and it was chemically induced. His ...

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Thread: Thought provoking... story by a mother of a mentally ill child

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by BuckNekkid View Post
    Thankfully I do not have a similar story about my son, but it was close, and it was chemically induced. His behavior in 2nd grade was enough to annoy his teacher, who recommended evaluation for ADHD, so we did. Our pediatrician told us she saw nothing outside of the teacher's opinion to indicate ADHD, but we went along with her suggestion that we try Adderall (sp?) which we did, after I confirmed with a USMC recruiter that we were not removing future options with the papertrail of mood-altering prescriptions. Anyway, his behavior at school improved, but his grades tanked, and he was an absolute monster at home, completely without control, similar to the child in the story above. We formally appealed to the school for a different teacher and got it, and informed them we would be removing his medication no matter what they decided. We buried them with spreadsheets and charts of his grades before and during the treatment. He never caused any issues, real or perceicved, in his new class. Draw your own conclusions. Even now if he needs to take a pill he asks "This isn't going to change me, is it?" Mental health is a scary topic no doubt.
    FYI, military recruiters (for now) will accept applicants who took ADHD medication prior to turning 12 only.
    The biggest benefit your son has is that he appears to have two loving parents who are actively engaged in his welfare and well being. And that is outstanding Sir.

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  3. #17
    Senior Member Array Lish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneshot View Post
    Doesn't say if there is a husband in the story.
    Bet not.
    This is part of the problem I feel, is that without a good solid father figure in the home, these kids are running amok.
    They feel they can sass back and disrespect their mother, and mom, most likely is a "working mom", so she's exhausted and doesn't want to deal with it.
    Then the kid gets older, and the problem is out of control.
    Kids feel like they are being ignored with as busy as the household is, and they are lashing out, and threatening suicide if they don't get their way.

    OTOH, sometimes people are just plain nutso-kooko.
    I think this is too easy an assumption about dads. My husband is here - he's just not a strong disciplinarian. Discipline falls to me. And yup I'm tired...but I follow through with consequences. I may not want to deal with it...but I do. That's my job.

    Also, one of my boys has epilepsy. Complex partial seizures to be exact (not all seizures are the grand mals we see on TV). His seizures originate in the temporal lobe - that's the area of the brain that governs behavior. When he was not well controlled with medication, he would choke his younger brother, drop his pants in public, take off his shoes and throw them at people, I had to physically restrain him often (he's 7 now, but trust me when he seized he was STRONG). It was horrible. I couldn't take him out in public. All the punishment in the world didn't make it stop because he wasn't just a brat - even though that's how he appeared, heck he wouldn't even remember doing what he did. Turns out his awful behavior was seizure activity and once we got him on a medication that controlled the seizures (mind you we had to go through 4 drugs to get there, 2 of which he had major, potentially life threatening side effects to) the out of control behavior disappeared. He's a sweet kid, and now a "good" kid. He's different from the kid in the linked article because he's not mentally ill - he has a medical condition that caused it. With any luck he'll outgrow his epilepsy and it won't ever be a concern again. He still has complex partial seizures from time to time - he'll smack his lips repeatedly or choke on nothing or vomit in his sleep but luckily he hasn't completely freaked out like he used to. I thank God for that every day.
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    When I read this article I was going to post it. Glad someone else did. I am one of those mothers. Oh, my son isn't this bad. He can fly off the handle for something or nothing. Most times he is a loving and giving child. Cares about everyone and is the shoulder everyone cry's on. Then sometimes he sees red and it has to take its 1/2 course. He isn't violent but it full of self loathing. They have tossed around all kinds of labels but have never found a medication that takes more than the edge off. We noticed the changes in his behavior soon after he got all the immunizations around age two. Mental illness is something that has long been ignored in our country. Even when you have good health insurance it doesn't pay much or for very long to get your child help.
    Our House Is Protected By The Good Lord And A gun. You Might Meet Both Of Them If You Show Up Inside My House Uninvited.

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    I believe this story speaks more to the issue with Sandy Hook and proabably Jared Loughner too. This will not be an easy fix, but I do think it will address at least part of the problem. Gun control is an easy fix that will do nothing. These shooters are generally intelligent and not having a gun will not stop them from committing mass murder if that is there will.

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    That was a powerful article. It illustrates one of the truisms of America where we seek the easy answer rather than the correct answer. Gun control is "easy", measurable, inexpensive, quantifiable and expedient, but completely wrong. Successful treating mental illness is difficult, not truly measurable in a meaningful fashion, very expensive, and fraught with uncertainty, but clearly the right answer.
    mprp, Doghandler, oakchas and 1 others like this.

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    As the father of a mentally ill child, I thank you for posting this. My child was adopted at age 8, but spent the first 6 years of her life suffering unfathomable abuse. We have a very strong, loving, two parent home, and while I understand the multiple reasons for her illness, and have spent tens of thousands of dollars on treatment, it does not make living with or handling a severely mentally ill child any easier. It seems absurd that there is essentially no help available to these parents until the child has committed a crime severe enough to warrant criminal charges or incarceration, however, that is exactly what we have found. While I am a very strong second amendment supporter, I cannot allow any unlocked or accessible firearms in our home based on the dangers inherent in having an extremely unstable child in the home. I definitely feel for this mother and wish her success in finding help, but realize that there is likely little more available.
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    There is no question that some parents need help. My mom used to work, (retired) at the county mental health facility and had to deal with all sorts. Before she worked there she worked for many years as a counselor at a group home for girls in their teens. Did I mention that there is no question that some parents need help? It takes money and professionals, and these people need them at no fault of their own.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr View Post
    As the father of a mentally ill child, I thank you for posting this. My child was adopted at age 8, but spent the first 6 years of her life suffering unfathomable abuse. We have a very strong, loving, two parent home, and while I understand the multiple reasons for her illness, and have spent tens of thousands of dollars on treatment, it does not make living with or handling a severely mentally ill child any easier. It seems absurd that there is essentially no help available to these parents until the child has committed a crime severe enough to warrant criminal charges or incarceration, however, that is exactly what we have found. While I am a very strong second amendment supporter, I cannot allow any unlocked or accessible firearms in our home based on the dangers inherent in having an extremely unstable child in the home. I definitely feel for this mother and wish her success in finding help, but realize that there is likely little more available.
    That nearly-three-year wait to make your first post was worth it. Thanks for sharing.
    Lish likes this.
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    Re: Thought provoking... story by a mother of a mentally ill child

    Quote Originally Posted by Rock and Glock View Post
    That was a powerful article. It illustrates one of the truisms of America where we seek the easy answer rather than the correct answer. Gun control is "easy", measurable, inexpensive, quantifiable and expedient, but completely wrong. Successful treating mental illness is difficult, not truly measurable in a meaningful fashion, very expensive, and fraught with uncertainty, but clearly the right answer.
    It takes a healthy community to raise healthy children. No one should have to do it alone. Whether through church or charity, school or hospital, or government or private programs, we all have a stake in the success or failure of every child and every family.

    ...
    The problem with the world is grown-ups behaving like unsupervised children.
    There is a solution but we are not Jedi... not yet.
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    Re: Thought provoking... story by a mother of a mentally ill child

    Sobering discussion of the elephant in the room that most will not discuss in the coming debate on "gun safety" "gun control" by the "gun culture" and the "gun control culture."

    We will see the "cold, dead hands" crowd and the "ban all guns" bunch. And, no matter which "wins" we will all lose.
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

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    Re: Thought provoking... story by a mother of a mentally ill child

    I'm going to make an effort to shake hands with my neighbors when I see them for no better reason than to reaffirm my commitment to our neighborhood.

    ...
    The problem with the world is grown-ups behaving like unsupervised children.
    There is a solution but we are not Jedi... not yet.
    Doghandler

  13. #27
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    It appears that in some cases nothing medical helps some people with violent mental issues. Incarciration is usually the next step, but does nothing but get them off the street for awhile. Lobotomies were too contriversal. Is there any surgical procedure being done now?
    Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around laws. Plato

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    Since the later 70's, with excuses of budget cuts , etc. from States, etc. the mental health care in this country has declined to an all time low. There is essentially nothing out there. There is no help for parents like there was before. The hospitals and facilities have disappeared. It's amazing to see what's like today, knowing what it was like 40 yrs ago in comparison.

    It's on the street with them when they become adults, and good luck..... soceity has reaped this one ... on itself. And, it is a real shame that more is not done. Consequently, there are also few people getting into the mental health field , or being trained and educated to work in the field, at least in comparison to the past.

    Thanks for posting this .... this "is" the discussion that needs to occur.
    Last edited by Eagleks; December 18th, 2012 at 12:14 AM.
    TX expat likes this.
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    When it comes to mental illness, Big Pharma has given up. The only real sources of funding into research is now going to be either from charities or from governments. Considering how mental illness is likely to be Ⱥ THE major source of suffering in our countries this century, we'd be wise to funnel some of our leisure money to the research charities. Big Pharma will take up the reigns again, but only once easy-ish targets have been ID'd. I think the moral goal is to get from A to B as fast as possible, since the suffering is real.
    Our current plan for Universal Iron Lung coverage, just sayin'.
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    Good thing the March of Dimes worked. How, why?

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