Random Musings

Random Musings

This is a discussion on Random Musings within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Ever wonder... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ...

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Thread: Random Musings

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array SARR001's Avatar
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    Random Musings

    Ever wonder...


    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

    Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

    Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    "Life's tough......It's even tougher if you're stupid." -John Wayne


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array swiftyjuan's Avatar
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    I especially agree with the mosquitos one!
    John
    Assault is a behavior, not a device.

    "Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party

    Lifetime NRA member

  3. #3
    Member Array das38spl's Avatar
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    What color does a Smurf turn when you choke it??
    Why do we PARK in a "drive"way....and DRIVE on a "park"way??

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    Definately agree with the pro and con statement.
    One should never confuse good fortune with good training.
    Illegitimus Non Carborundum.
    In God we trust.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array Daddy Warcrimes's Avatar
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    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
    Sun would lighten skin, but skin reacts by producing more melanin in order to protect itself

    Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
    Because all the advertised psychics are fake

    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
    Because it is derived from a common sentence rather than an original concept.

    Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
    Practice is the art of repetition. The term distinguishes them from amateurs who might only dabble in medicine on the side.

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
    Economics

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    Mice are more of a cat toy than food. It would be like a plastic flavored cereal.

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
    Genesis 6:19 "You are to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, male and female, to keep them alive with you."
    And Genesis 6:9 "Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God"

    A righteous man does not ignore the commands of God.

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    To prevent infection

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
    The flight recorder is not indestructible, just very durable. This has as much to do with it's design as the materials. An airplane constructed in that manner would not fly.

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    The opposite of progress is regress. The term congress in it's purest definition is the meeting people. This can be interpreted as a formal gathering, a social meeting, or even coitus.
    "and suddenly I can not hold back my sword hand's anger"

    DaddyWarcrimes.com

  6. #6
    Member Array Ghuqu2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daddy Warcrimes View Post

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    The opposite of progress is regress. The term congress in it's purest definition is the meeting people. This can be interpreted as a formal gathering, a social meeting, or even coitus.
    Thus every time we send someone to Congress were getting screwed!
    "The millions of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a country as that which we possess, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us." Patrick Henry 1775

    Vegetarian: Indian for inept hunter.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array hudsonvalley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daddy Warcrimes View Post
    ..........
    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    The opposite of progress is regress. The term congress in it's purest definition is the meeting people. This can be interpreted as a formal gathering, a social meeting, or even coitus.
    Well they certainly coitus'd us with that health care vote last night....Congress I mean. The President will do his duty soon......
    Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives.
    ---Ronald Reagan

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