Best one liner

Best one liner

This is a discussion on Best one liner within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; "We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police."...

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Thread: Best one liner

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Guns and more's Avatar
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    Best one liner

    "We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police."


  2. #2
    Senior Member Array Shadowsbane's Avatar
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    It is true. I went on 15 deliveries last night alone, and beat the cops there every time. Heck they didn't show up by the time I was leaving even.
    Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.

    www.Lonelymountainleather.com

  3. #3
    Member Array EPIC SCUMBAG's Avatar
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    so true...so true.

  4. #4
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    Nuke em from orbit, It's the only way to be sure.
    quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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    Senior Member Array Lewis128's Avatar
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    Hold my beer and watch this!

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guns and more View Post
    "We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police."
    Manifest destiny: what happens where pepperoni is valued more than life itself.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array Hiram25's Avatar
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    Hello 911, I'd like to order a large police cruiser w/LEO & Dog!

  8. #8
    Member Array TapRackBang's Avatar
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    It is true. I went on 15 deliveries last night alone, and beat the cops there every time. Heck they didn't show up by the time I was leaving even
    .

    Were the cops invited??

    cuz i don't know any 24 years olds, who live at home with their parents and drive a ford fiesta to deliver pizza for a living that can beat me driving a LE Dodge Charger anywhere..

    Did I just stereotype..or dare I say profile.
    "Arms in the hands of individual citizens may be used at individual discretion..in private self defense." John Adams

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array paaiyan's Avatar
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    Tap it's not about whether they can beat you in a race. Perhaps I'm taking this too seriously, but it's about the police taking their sweet time to arrive.

    Situation #1: When my car was broken into a while back, I had to wait well over an hour for the cops to arrive.

    Situation #2: My neighbor's house was broken into a while back. The alarm company called the police first to notify them of a burglary in progress, then called my neighbor. Following all traffic laws my neighbor beat the police to his home; he was at a store about 3 miles away.

    Maybe it's not as bad where you are, but the response times in my town are just pathetic.
    My blog

    WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to literary devices not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.

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    Member Array DKPRC's Avatar
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    My parents have a house alarm. And several times we've had false alarms, and it has taken upwards of 45 minutes for the LEOs to arrive.

    I don't fault them for this by the way, my parents live 15 minutes away from the closest supermarket.

    The other thing, it seems to me that LEOS know, in most alarm scenarios, there isn't anything for them to do but fill out a report. Even if they speed to the scene with siren blazing, they aren't going to make it. They have to be extremely lucky to be in the right place at the right time to prevent something, rather than simply investigate it after.

    But then, that's why most of us are here right?

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array paramedic70002's Avatar
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    OK here's a good one liner, if off topic.

    On an EMS run had an old lady in obvious respiratory distress, requiring immediate intervention. Family is there arguing about whether we should transport her to the nearest hospital (across the street literally) or one about ten miles away.

    I tried to explain about emergencies and protocols and nearest facilities but it wasn't doing any good. Finally I said, "You want us to take her to Leigh? No problem. Put her in a nursing home close to Leigh."

    That was pretty much a conversation ender.
    "Each worker carried his sword strapped to his side." Nehemiah 4:18

    Guns Save Lives. Paramedics Save Lives. But...
    Paramedics With Guns Scare People!

  12. #12
    Distinguished Member
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    I like paramedic70002's: Trained to save your .... not kiss it.

    Another favorite from this forum: When seconds count the police are minutes away.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Array Shadowsbane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TapRackBang View Post
    .

    Were the cops invited??

    cuz i don't know any 24 years olds, who live at home with their parents and drive a ford fiesta to deliver pizza for a living that can beat me driving a LE Dodge Charger anywhere..

    Did I just stereotype..or dare I say profile.
    27, live with wife and baby, Jeep and I can go offroad.

    Nice try though.

    Also work 2 other jobs so I make sure to not gather attention of any police officer.
    Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.

    www.Lonelymountainleather.com

  14. #14
    New Member Array PhantomTexan's Avatar
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    When in doubt, empty the magazine.
    I intend to live forever, or at least die trying...

  15. #15
    Senior Member Array Lewis128's Avatar
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Shadowsbane View Post
    27, live with wife and baby, Jeep and I can go offroad.

    Nice try though.

    Also work 2 other jobs so I make sure to not gather attention of any police officer.
    +1 for not breaking out the donut shop reply that I was thinking of.
    Dangit! Now I'm profiling!

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