May 12th, 2010 03:34 AM
Why I Fired My Secretary.
Got this from Modern Muzzleloader Forum. Enjoy.
Why I fired my Secretary...........
Yesterday was my birthday
And I didn't feel very well
Waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast
Hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!',
And possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out,
She barely said good morning,
Well, that's marriage for you,
But the kids...
They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast And didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
And somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office,
My secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss,
And by the way
Happy Birthday! '
It felt a little better
That at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock ,
When Jane knocked on my door
And said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
And it is your Birthday,
S0 What do you say we go out to lunch,
Just you and me.'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
Where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
With a private table.
We had two martinis each
And I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day......
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do we ?'
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind?'
'Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner.'
After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
' Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
For just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,
After a couple of minutes,
She came out
Carrying a huge birthday cake ..
By my wife,
And dozens of my friends
All singing 'Happy Birthday'.
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
May 12th, 2010 04:17 AM
I love that one.
"Stand your ground, don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here!" - John Parker April 19th, 1775 Lexington, MA
May 12th, 2010 06:26 AM
Oh darn, I think I just woke my wife up with my laughing...
May 12th, 2010 06:37 AM
"The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."
May 12th, 2010 07:08 AM
A great way to start the day. Thanks for the belly laugh!
"One of the ordinary modes, by which tyrants accomplish their purposes without resistance, is, by disarming the people, and making it an offense to keep arms."
-- Supreme Court Justice Joseph Story, 1840
May 12th, 2010 07:57 AM
Funny how one word can make a story into an awesome joke
There is something about firing 4,200 thirty millimeter rounds/min that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
May 12th, 2010 09:51 AM
Now THAT was funny...I don't care who ya are!!!!!
Sometimes in life you have to stand your ground. It's a hard lesson to learn and even most adults don't get it, but in the end only I can be responsible for my life. If faced with any type of adversity, only I can overcome it. Waiting for someone else to take responsibility is a long fruitless wait.
May 12th, 2010 10:08 AM
May 12th, 2010 12:15 PM
May 12th, 2010 12:30 PM
May 12th, 2010 12:46 PM
May 12th, 2010 02:41 PM
That was funny. And the guy will get exactly what he deserves.
"I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."
May 12th, 2010 02:52 PM
LOL thats hilarious! LMAO
May 12th, 2010 02:59 PM
Now that was a good one...
May 12th, 2010 03:31 PM
That was a good one.
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