Why I Fired My Secretary.

Why I Fired My Secretary.

This is a discussion on Why I Fired My Secretary. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Got this from Modern Muzzleloader Forum. Enjoy. Why I fired my Secretary........... Yesterday was my birthday And I didn't feel very well Waking up on ...

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Thread: Why I Fired My Secretary.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array Avenger's Avatar
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    Why I Fired My Secretary.

    Got this from Modern Muzzleloader Forum. Enjoy.


    Why I fired my Secretary...........

    Yesterday was my birthday
    And I didn't feel very well
    Waking up on that morning.

    I went downstairs for breakfast
    Hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!',
    And possibly have a small present for me.

    As it turned out,
    She barely said good morning,
    Let alone
    'Happy Birthday.'

    I thought...

    Well, that's marriage for you,
    But the kids...
    They will remember.

    My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast And didn't say a word.
    So when I left for the office,
    I felt pretty low
    And somewhat despondent.

    As I walked into my office,
    My secretary Jane said,
    'Good Morning Boss,
    And by the way
    Happy Birthday! '
    It felt a little better
    That at least someone had remembered.

    I worked until one o'clock ,
    When Jane knocked on my door
    And said, 'You know,
    It's such a beautiful day outside,
    And it is your Birthday,
    S0 What do you say we go out to lunch,
    Just you and me.'
    I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
    that's the greatest thing
    I've heard all day.
    Let's go!'
    We went to lunch.
    But we didn't go
    Where we normally would go.
    She chose instead at a quiet bistro
    With a private table.
    We had two martinis each
    And I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

    On the way back to the office,
    Jane said, 'You know,
    It's such a beautiful day......
    We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do we ?'

    I responded,
    'I guess not.
    What do you have in mind?'
    She said,
    'Let's drop by my apartment,
    it's just around the corner.'

    0K

    After arriving at her apartment,
    Jane turned to me and said,
    ' Boss, if you don't mind,
    I'm going to step into the bedroom
    For just a moment.
    I'll be right back.'
    'Ok.' I nervously replied.


    She went into the bedroom and,
    After a couple of minutes,
    She came out
    Carrying a huge birthday cake ..
    Followed
    By my wife,
    My kids,
    And dozens of my friends
    And co-workers,
    All singing 'Happy Birthday'.




    And I just sat there...




    On the couch...


    Naked


  2. #2
    Senior Member Array Katana's Avatar
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    I love that one.
    "Stand your ground, don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here!" - John Parker April 19th, 1775 Lexington, MA

    Μολών λαβέ!

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array grady's Avatar
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    Oh darn, I think I just woke my wife up with my laughing...

    Good one!

  4. #4
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    -Bark'n
    Semper Fi


    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

  5. #5
    Member Array Samwolf's Avatar
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    A great way to start the day. Thanks for the belly laugh!
    Samwolf

    "One of the ordinary modes, by which tyrants accomplish their purposes without resistance, is, by disarming the people, and making it an offense to keep arms."

    -- Supreme Court Justice Joseph Story, 1840

  6. #6
    Distinguished Member Array razor02097's Avatar
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    Funny how one word can make a story into an awesome joke
    There is something about firing 4,200 thirty millimeter rounds/min that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array First Sgt's Avatar
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    Now THAT was funny...I don't care who ya are!!!!!
    Sometimes in life you have to stand your ground. It's a hard lesson to learn and even most adults don't get it, but in the end only I can be responsible for my life. If faced with any type of adversity, only I can overcome it. Waiting for someone else to take responsibility is a long fruitless wait.

  8. #8
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    Hilarious!

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array Snowman23's Avatar
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    Great

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  11. #11
    Senior Member Array Hot Wing's Avatar
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    Very nice

  12. #12
    Senior Member Array gilraen's Avatar
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    That was funny. And the guy will get exactly what he deserves.
    "I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."

  13. #13
    Senior Member Array CowboyColby's Avatar
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    LOL thats hilarious! LMAO

  14. #14
    Distinguished Member Array pinklady's Avatar
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    Now that was a good one...

  15. #15
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    That was a good one.

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