Humorous: SOG TRIDENT SAVES ELECTION RESULTS lol

Humorous: SOG TRIDENT SAVES ELECTION RESULTS lol

This is a discussion on Humorous: SOG TRIDENT SAVES ELECTION RESULTS lol within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; As part of my duties as a Constable in PA is to provide security at the election poll in my township. So here goes Scene: ...

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  1. #1
    Member Array AllAbtSlfDef's Avatar
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    Humorous: SOG TRIDENT SAVES ELECTION RESULTS lol

    As part of my duties as a Constable in PA is to provide security at the election poll in my township. So here goes

    Scene: Its a rainy day in SWPA in May. It's 8:30pm. The doors are closed the poll workers are gathering the printouts from the voting machines. Its me and 5 elderly ladies.

    Poll worker: "I need some scissors,where did I put them?"

    ME: " Have you found them yet?"

    PW: "No"

    ME: "Let me look"

    ... I open the drawer in the desk and.....

    NOTHING!..... The next drawer.....NOTHING!!

    I glance around the room, I'm looking desperately, I look high and low, near and far. NOTHING!!!

    I say to her with the opening of my Trident

    *CLICK!!*(assisted open) "I have a pocket knife..."

    (she is a farmer's wife, no fear of that kinda thing)

    PW: "Ok.."

    At this point we are out of options, we have no scissors, the paper is could be torn with the slightest effort but I don't mention that.

    PW holds paper tight, I glide thru it with ease.

    5 minutes later I am called from across the room....

    "Jason.." she says "... Where is your knife?"

    I reply, "Over here" *CLICK!!*

    "Bring it here" she beckons

    I make my way across the room (20 feet)

    I slice paper 4 or 5 more times, The results of the primary election are placed in the proper place and the day is saved....

    To ensure that the night ended well, I loaded the machines in the car and escorted the ladies out.

    Had it not been for the SOG Trident, or well a pair of scissors that were never found, or some one ripping the receipt paper the 28% of registered voters that showed would not have been able to check the results today and the papers would not have been placed in the right areas.

    This story is merely for fun and not intended to be boastful or heroic.

    I'm Jason and I authorize this message. lol Hope you enjoyed it.
    "Put on the whole armor of God..."


  2. #2
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    Good Story.
    Great knife.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array Rob P.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllAbtSlfDef View Post
    This story is merely for fun and not intended to be boastful or heroic.

    I'm Jason and I authorize this message. lol Hope you enjoyed it.
    Yeah, yeah. I'll bet you really posted this just gloat over your part in ousting that bum Specter.

    BTW, congratulations to PA for doing just that. Hopefully the momentum will continue to just keep rolling on.

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array paramedic70002's Avatar
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    I recently read about a Sheriff's election that was decided by a game of cards. The law in that state (I forget which) requires ties to be settled by a game of chance.

    So now we have a knife and a deck of cards keeping America free in voting rights.
    "Each worker carried his sword strapped to his side." Nehemiah 4:18

    Guns Save Lives. Paramedics Save Lives. But...
    Paramedics With Guns Scare People!

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