You Know You Need A New Lawyer When....

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Thread: You Know You Need A New Lawyer When....

  1. #1
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    Array Captain Crunch's Avatar
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    You Know You Need A New Lawyer When....

    The prosecution team exchanges "high fives" when he enters the courtroom.

    During your initial consultation, he tries to sell you Amway.

    He tells you that his last good case was a Budweiser.

    During your trial, you catch him playing with his Gameboy.

    He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose".

    He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger".

    Every couple of minutes he yells "I call Jim Beam to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.

    He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.


    When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
    And the women come out to cut up what remains,
    Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
    And go to your God like a soldier.

    Rudyard Kipling


    Terry

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  3. #2
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    You Know You Need A New Lawyer When....
    Absolutely everything else has failed and you literally have no more options left. It's called desperation
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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    You Know You Need A New Lawyer When....

    ....they come recommended to you by your ex-spouse.
    USAF: Loving Our Obscene Amenities Since 1947

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    Member Array curtm1911's Avatar
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    They remove his handcuffs when he enters the courtroom.
    "Gun Control means hitting your target, Repeatedly"
    "Always fire two warning shots to center mass before taking head shots"

  6. #5
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    He ends his intro with "...but I stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night."
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

  7. #6
    Senior Member Array Wayne's Avatar
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    ... when the judge looks at him and states, "so, when did they release you from prison"?

    *okay, so it's cheesy but wanted to play also :)

    Wayne

  8. #7
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    When the attorney asks the expert witness this question:

    ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

    WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
    Richard

    NRA Life Member

    "But if they don't exist, how can a man see them?"

    "You may think I'm pompous, but actually I'm pedantic... let me explain the difference."

    "Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive and don't ever apologize for anything."

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