Twenty Dollars

Twenty Dollars

This is a discussion on Twenty Dollars within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; On their wedding night, the young bride Approached her new husband and asked For $20..00 for their first lovemaking Encounter. In his highly aroused state, ...

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Thread: Twenty Dollars

  1. #1
    Member Array UnklFungus's Avatar
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    Twenty Dollars

    On their wedding night, the young bride
    Approached her new husband and asked
    For $20..00 for their first lovemaking
    Encounter. In his highly aroused state,
    Her husband readily agreed.

    This scenario was repeated each time they made
    Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
    Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
    She needed.

    Arriving home around noon one day, she was
    Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
    During the next few minutes, he explained that
    His employer was going through a process of corporate
    Downsizing, and he had been let go.
    It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
    Another position that paid anywhere near what
    He'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
    Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
    Showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling
    Nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued
    By the bank which were worth over $2 million,
    And informed him that they
    Were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for more than
    Three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,
    These holdings had multiplied and these were the
    Results of her savings and investments.

    Faced with evidence of cash and investments
    Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
    Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,
    'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,
    I would have given you all my business!'

    That's when she shot him.

    You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
    To keep their mouths shut
    “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.”

    Patrick Henry
    Quote Originally Posted by UnklFungus
    If it is ok to disarm legal citizens to reduce crime, then doesn't it stand to disband the military to prevent war?


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    I'm SO glad I put my coffee down.......
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  3. #3
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    Good One!
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  4. #4
    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    It has been said that he just needed killing.
    One should never confuse good fortune with good training.
    Illegitimus Non Carborundum.
    In God we trust.

  5. #5
    Distinguished Member Array razor02097's Avatar
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    see.... alcohol and wives don't mix
    There is something about firing 4,200 thirty millimeter rounds/min that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

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    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Chief View Post
    It has been said that he just needed killing.
    Absolutely a justifiable defense here in West Virginia!
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

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    VIP Member Array bsnow's Avatar
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    Excellent!
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  9. #9
    Member Array PaxMentis's Avatar
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    Wait...$20 a day for 40 years is under $300K....she must have had more customers...

    Gun Control: The theory that a woman found dead in an alley, raped and strangled with her panty hose, is somehow morally superior to a woman explaining to police how her attacker got that fatal bullet wound.

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  10. #10
    Distinguished Member Array morintp's Avatar
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    I've also heard the reverse of that joke. The hubby gives the wife $1 every time, and after several years he sees the jar filled with $10's, $20's, $50's, and $100's. When he asks about it, his wife say "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you."
    64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.

  11. #11
    Member Array i10casual's Avatar
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    haha right on

  12. #12
    Distinguished Member Array razor02097's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaxMentis View Post
    Wait...$20 a day for 40 years is under $300K....she must have had more customers...

    you been married too long you forget the first year or 2 would add about $60-70k to the total
    Then add another $150k for after the "Viagra talk"

    wait that's only half a mil...... eh maybe loan sharking and prostitution WAS the solution
    There is something about firing 4,200 thirty millimeter rounds/min that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array ctsketch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by razor02097 View Post
    you been married too long you forget the first year or 2 would add about $60-70k to the total
    Then add another $150k for after the "Viagra talk"

    wait that's only half a mil...... eh maybe loan sharking and prostitution WAS the solution
    I think 40 years of INTEREST is the solution :D
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    If you go back to the 1970's, you could get 17% interest without even trying.
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  15. #15
    Senior Member Array CCWFlaRuger's Avatar
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    Wow, after 6 years, we'd have about $200,000 saved... $199,900 from the first year.....

    J/K Baby
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