Depressed for the first time in my life

This is a discussion on Depressed for the first time in my life within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Mike, lots of good advice here already. Sorry to hear this is getting to you like this. Are you stuck staying where you are for ...

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Thread: Depressed for the first time in my life

  1. #16
    Distinguished Member Array orangevol's Avatar
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    Mike, lots of good advice here already. Sorry to hear this is getting to you like this.

    Are you stuck staying where you are for now? Is your job actually in Monrovia? Is there another part of Indy you can look at to set up your new home?

    I travel there several time a year on business and have stayed in the Greenwood area and it seems decent enough. My customer is is Brownsburg on the NW side and it also seems like a nice suburb.

    Mike, look for a good Bible based church and visit a few, get to know some folks and soon you'll feel better if you surround yourself with a circle of caring friends.

    I don't like to hear about depression...keep talking to us here on the forum. We may be cyber-friends, but we're still your friends!
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  3. #17
    Senior Member Array Snowman23's Avatar
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    FWIW, I can relate to the location related depression. I moved to my current town for a reason. I hated my previous location. I had the benefit of growing up in an Air Force family that moved every few years. Some locations as a kid were absolutely aweful...I was always the new kid, which can suck. I always found a way to try to change my perception of a place..sometimes I grew to love it...sometimes not. But you have to try...because you can't just turn the "TV of life" off and wait for a better show. Maybe there's a redeeming factor of your location that you have yet to identify?

    As I became an adult I realized that, for me, I would take lifestyle over any business opportunity in a location that made me miserable. From the day I realized that...It was only 3 months before we packed up and moved. I'm not sure if that's an option for you. If it is, you only live once. Hang in there...embrace the day and don't let yourself spiral into negative perception, it just makes it worse.

  4. #18
    Distinguished Member Array Black Knight's Avatar
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    Mike just to let you know my family will pray that evrything picks up for you. Now for a small attempt at humor mixed with a pep talk. My father once asked me if I knew what happens when you stop hanging. I didn't. He said, "you start falling". So Mike keep hanging, don't start falling. Anytime time you need to get something off your chest or feel like you just want to scream do it here we'll understand.

  5. #19
    Member Array natticarry's Avatar
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    hang in there Mike. Not sure where you are working would be in relation to Greenwood/Franklin area, but if its not too far that area is pretty decent. I am actually kind of going through the opposite. After being in southern Illinois for a couple years I am moving back to Cincinnati. When I first moved here I hated and still sort of do, but I managed to make some great friends at work that I am a little sad to leave behind. That being said I can relate to the old crappy town atmosphere. Just thinking about how easy it will be to get to a decent store or gym has me pretty excited about getting back. All of that being said I think I have picked up some great experience at work that are really going to help me be more successful when I get back to Cincinnati, also I banked cash like crazy since it was harder to find something worth spending it on in the immediate area.

  6. #20
    Distinguished Member Array Siafu's Avatar
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    Hang in there brother. It could be worse, you could live here near me in NYS where the only people getting a raise are the welfare recipients. (30% NO KIDDING!)

  7. #21
    VIP Member Array Supertac45's Avatar
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    Is it possible to move at this point?
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  8. #22
    Distinguished Member Array Jason Storm's Avatar
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    I Can Relate

    Quote Originally Posted by TN_Mike View Post
    For the first time in my life I think I am actually depressed. I have all the symptoms. Don't want to eat, tired all the time, seem to take no joy in anything. Others.

    My situation? I am currently staying with family in Indiana working a new job. I like this job better than the one I left in Memphis TN. But I hate this state. And I can't fully explain why I hate Indiana so badly. I grew up here but I have been gone for almost 25 years. I thought it would be nice to come back to where most of my family still lives. But, honestly, I am kind of let down in them. For almost 25 years, they have been people that I saw very occasionally. They were mostly voices on the end of a phone line. Now that I am right here with them, I think I liked them better the other way. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but that's the way it is.

    We lived in Arlington TN. A beautiful small Southern town that had both an older part of town that was kept rustic for historical purposes and a newer section with some modern conveniences such as a Grocery store and other fairly new (less than 3 years old) shopping. It had a very nice gym that I belonged to less than 5 minutes from my house.

    Here we live in a dump of a town named Monrovia. The whole place looks old. Nothing new or of the modern convenience style. I don't like it.

    I miss Southern Hospitality. It actually does exist you know. Not here but in the South it does exist. Everyone I have met here seems to be a self absorbed jackass.

    My situation is 180 degrees from what it was in Tennessee. I hated my job and especially my boss. But I loved where we lived, our neighbors and the town. My kids had lots of friends. I had a great gym I worked out in (very important to me) and my wife and I got to spend lots of time together.

    Here, I work crappy hours but I like the place I work at and my boss. But I hate the town we live in, the people around us suck, my kids don't know anyone and, the closest gym is 20 minutes away and it is tiny and just plain crappy.

    And in case all this wasn't bad enough, this is the single most racist place I have ever lived in my life. I don't remember that aspect of Indiana from when I was growing up but boy, I sure notice it now. And I hate it about the place.

    Bottom line, I no longer consider myself a Hoosier. I wouldn't tell someone I was from this state now for anything. I consider myself from Tennessee from now until the day I die.

    I am depressed and miserable. I have never felt like this before and it scares me. I am not myself.I don't know what to do about it either.

    Thanks for letting me get this all off my chest so to speak.

    When I used to be assigned and resided at Martinsville, VA for a couple of years, I really hated it. I couldn't stand it. At that time, the only way to cope with it was to go to Greensboro, NC or Roanoke, VA if I decided to stay there on a weekend. Otherwise, I did a 4 hr. drive to VA Beach since there is nothing there worth enjoying in Martinsville. I have nothing against Rednecks as half of my friends are Rednecks but this is just isn't my style and my environment. I owned a rice burner for a car, not into country music, not into NASCAR, and I dressed very urban so I had a hard time fitting in. But I tell you one thing, those guys there are more tolerant of guns and it is part of their everyday life. That's the only thing I have in common with them is the 2nd Amendment. I got reassigned to Richmond for some health reasons and I do say that I feel much happier over there (in better health now) and am also looking forward to residing in Hampton Roads again. As for the ones in SW VA that I have made friends with, it was nice knowing you and I appreciate your southern hospitality.

  9. #23
    Senior Member Array Katana's Avatar
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    Yeah, I've been picking up on that for awhile now Mike, both on here and FB.

    I know how much you love Tennessee, and I can't blame you. It's hard for me to imagine living anywhere else these days. Growing up, all I could think of was getting out of here, but now I couldn't think of being anywhere else.

    I guess the best suggestion I have for you is to try contacting some of the television stations in the Nashville area and start networking (no pun intended) from there. Middle Tennessee is a little bit different from west, but it'd get you back here at least.

    For the time being, all you can do is make the best of your situation, and just know your friends (irl as well as Internet) are more than willing to lend an ear if you feel like talking.

    Take it easy man, and just remember you'll get back down here at some point. And if you come to middle Tennessee, the first range trip is on me, ok?
    "Stand your ground, don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here!" - John Parker April 19th, 1775 Lexington, MA

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  10. #24
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    Years ago I saw a list of life's most stressful things:
    Besides the obvious ones such as like legal troubles, and deaths in the family,
    changing jobs and moving were right up near the top of the list of stressful life events.

    From your other posts I think this is a recent move and recent job change. Hang tough as it is too soon to really know if you have made a mistake.

    I go with the advice someone else gave you, NEVER LOOK BACK. All you get from that is regrets. Look forward. Look forward to creating (yes, creating) a good life in your new location. Life's what you do with it, even if you are spending it in the penitentiary; and you aren't in that situation. Hence life is good. Just be sure you do something good with yours. The rest, happiness, will follow.

  11. #25
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    Hopyard is correct - moving and a job changes both rank very high on the list of stressful events, ergo events which can trigger depression. Have you considered some counseling? Might be the answer.......

    The rest of Hopyard's answer is right-on too.

  12. #26
    VIP Member Array zacii's Avatar
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    I feel for ya, but I've never made a move, like that.

    Earlier this year I lost my job, was unemployed. Then I took a job, which I have to commute. I only get to see my family on weekends.

    It contributes to depression, but you'll find a way out

    You need to go shooting
    Trust in God and keep your powder dry

    "A heavily armed citizenry is not about overthrowing the government; it is about preventing the government from overthrowing liberty. A people stripped of their right of self defense is defenseless against their own government." -source

  13. #27
    Member Array OldLincoln's Avatar
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    I moved with my new bride to a city 100 miles away from "home". By new, it was 3 days after the wedding. It was also a new job, so we were adjusting to our first (and only) marriage, new job and new city. I liked my job but we didn't know anybody and missed home so bad it hurt. I would be eligible for a transfer with the same company back home after 6 months so I applied on that day.

    A couple weeks later my boss - a really nice guy - visited me in the field and had a little chat with me. He told me my transfer came through but he liked my work and didn't want to lose me. He offered me a promotion if I stayed. My wife and I talked a lot about it and since I wanted to make a career of where I worked, we decided to stay and change our attitudes. We promised each other to find something to like about our new city every day and talk about it each night. We did just that and the new city became easier to deal with.

    My boss invited us to church with them and we liked the church and joined the young married group. Then were lots of potlucks and BBQ and we made friends. We missed home less and less. It took another several months but home became where we lived, not where we used to live.

    We still traveled a lot to see family, but over time we got busier and trips became less frequent. Now, 43 years later, we cannot imagine why we ever liked our original city. We get depressed when we visit noticing the faults we used to overlook.

    You are going through a transition as others have said, but before setting only negatives in your mind, try changing your mindset. Set a goal of finding 1 positive a day and ignore the crappy stuff that every city has if you look for it. Happiness really is a mindset you have to work at. I wish you well my friend.

  14. #28
    Member Array Grantspastor's Avatar
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    Hang in there. It should get better with a little time. You'll make new friends as well. Moving is one of the five most traumatic things people go through....even when it is a positive move to better things

  15. #29
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    Hey...Guess what? When you're totally surrounded and ya feel trapped in an environment that you hate and can't stand...being depressed would be a completely normal and logical human reaction to that.

  16. #30
    Senior Member Array CCWFlaRuger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siafu View Post
    Hang in there brother. It could be worse, you could live here near me in NYS where the only people getting a raise are the welfare recipients. (30% NO KIDDING!)

    Disgusting.

    Mike, I know how you feel, and I imagine alot of people here do too, especially the whole part about liking your family better long distance. I too am a transplant, and I imagine I would be depressed too living with my family again after 13 years.

    But, there is one thing to focus on here, your wife and kids, and getting back in a good situation for them. "♪ You can't always get what you want, but you can get what you need"

    You are doing right. In your heart you know that, and if you keep focused on that, the rest will fall into place. Things always seem to have a way of working themsleves out.

    Good luck, friend, and we are here for you.
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