The Guy's Rules....

The Guy's Rules....

This is a discussion on The Guy's Rules.... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys\' side of the story. We always hear \"the rules\" ...

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Thread: The Guy's Rules....

  1. #1
    DC Founder
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    May 2004

    The Guy\'s Rules....

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys\'
    side of the story.

    We always hear \"the rules\" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male
    side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered \"1\" ON PURPOSE!

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You\'re a big girl. If it\'s up, put it
    down. We need it up, you need it down. You don\'t hear us complaining about
    you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports. It\'s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
    work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That\'s what
    we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
    all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    1. If you won\'t dress like the Victoria\'s Secret girls, don\'t expect us to
    act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you\'re fat, you probably are. Don\'t ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
    makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
    example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
    what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing,\" we will act like nothing\'s
    wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don\'t want an answer to, expect an answer you
    don\'t want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
    fine... Really.

    1. Don\'t ask us what we\'re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
    such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

    1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
    tonight; but did you know men really don\'t mind that? It\'s like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!

  2. #2
    Guest MsCHPBill's Avatar
    Well, it\'s about time someone wrote down the rules so we women could finally understand where you guys are coming from. I will have to give this some thought and see if I can come up with some rules for guys. :P

  3. #3
    Guest Rickman's Avatar
    Go ahead, I dare ya! :)

  4. #4
    Guest CHPBill's Avatar
    Oh, no, he dared her. Ye know not what trouble you are asking for.

    MsCHPBill is a very good wife but one of the ornriest women on the face of God\'s green earth AND she is a damned good shot. :)

  5. #5
    Guest MsCHPBill's Avatar
    Oooooo, Bill\'s right, he dared me ;)

  6. #6
    DC Founder
    Array Bumper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Poor Rickman....

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