Funny Medical Acronyms

Funny Medical Acronyms

This is a discussion on Funny Medical Acronyms within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I cobbled these off some internet bulletin boards (student doctor, EMT, and nurse forums). I have tried to bowdlerize most of the forbidden words. Apologies ...

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Thread: Funny Medical Acronyms

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    Senior Member Array gilraen's Avatar
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    Funny Medical Acronyms

    I cobbled these off some internet bulletin boards (student doctor, EMT, and nurse forums). I have tried to bowdlerize most of the forbidden words. Apologies to the mods, and the faint-of-heart readers, if I missed any.

    This is long, and some of them you may need some medical knowledge. Enjoy!

    Disclaimer: DO NOT attempt to use any of these terms in medical documentation. QA/QI and medical directors usually frown upon it.

    DDK = Dead Doesn't Know it

    Code Brown = No explanation needed...I hope!

    KFO = Knock'em the [bleep] Out

    GOMER = Get Out of My Emergency Room (said of our frequent flyers)

    LOLFOF = Little Old Lady Found On Floor (a common occurrence)

    FOSS = Full of [scatological bleep] Syndrome (most common reason for nursing-home pt. admissions)
    (meaning an impacted lower colon)

    CTD = Circling the Drain (closer and closer to death)

    T&S = Treat and Street (a runny nose that suddenly becomes an emergency at 4 AM)

    TSTL = Too Stupid To Live

    TOBASH = Take out back and shoot in head.

    FDGB = Fall down go boom

    WADAO = Weak and dizzy all over

    CRS = Can't Remember [scat-bleep]

    PFO = [bleep]ed (while drunk) and fell over

    FUBAR BUNDY = [bleep]ed up beyond all recognition, but unfortunately not dead yet

    BND = bloody near dead

    DFO = Done Fell Out

    WR = Wheelchair Rollover

    FTD = fixin’ to die

    OTD = out the in where the patient is going

    MERB = this patient has achieved MERB (maximum emergency room benefit).

    LOLNAD = little old lady, no apparent distress

    PITA = Pain in the [bleep]

    FLK = funny looking kid

    "hypovistarilemia"-condition where a patient has low serum vistaril level (ie-crazy!!)

    FUBAR RTC = [bleep]ed up beyond repair and ready to croak

    PID shuffle = a gait assessment tool

    FOOSH'ed = Fall on outstretched hand--mechanism of injury for UE (unemployment) injuries

    NLOP = No longer our problem

    CHS = crack head syndrome

    DRT = dead right there (when EMTs arrived)

    ART = assuming room temperature (i.e. presumably dead)

    GOK = God only knows…what is wrong with them

    CRAFT syndrome = Can't Remember a [bleep]ing Thing

    SOB = Silly Old Beggar

    FDGB = Fall Down Go Boom

    CFOB = Can't find own Bum

    FITH syndrome = [bleep]ed in the head.

    DABOR = Dumb As a Box Of Rocks

    CPC = Crotch-Pot Cookin' (see PID Shuffle)

    FIS = [bleep]ing Idiot Syndrome

    ATTE = Actively Trying To Expire

    OLPO = One Line Per Opening (natural openings and then some ...)

    LOLFDGB = Little Old Lady, Fall Down, Go Boom

    Proctalgia (not an acronym, but cute) = pain in the[bleep]

    DQA = Drama Queen Alert

    After seeing several twenty-something men accompanied by their mothers who answered all questions and tried to sign all consents, and the men basically didn't seem to be able to function away from Mommy = ASA (Apron String Alert).

    SASPGD = Sick as [scat-bleep], probably gonna die.

    PID = Physician in distress (a diagnosis for doing tests/procedures to make a jittery physician feel better.)

    Acute thespianism = Drama queen/king.

    Acute fulminating thespianism = Drama queen/king who can be heard way, way down the hall.

    SHPOS = Subhuman Piece Of [scat-bleep] (such as a gangbanger, murderer, pedophile, rapist etc.)

    DBI = dirt bag index; which is the patients number of teeth divided by number of tattoos (jailhouse and homemade tattoos get counted twice)

    Had a doc who ordered "Serum Porcelain Levels" when a pt was a "crock" or [scat-bleep]

    weird/chronic complainers/hypochondriacs etc. were referred to as "turkeys" so, the joke was, if this type of patient presents to ER, order STAT serum feather level...

    Anal glaucoma - can't see my [bleep] coming to work today

    status dramaticus = seen mostly in young friends/family members of the acute emergent hang nail case

    PWTT = Poor White Trailer Trash

    Norsaline = The infamous drug that will cure all drug seekers headaches the moment it is pushed into an IV  (Normal Saline)

    POS = Piece of [scat-bleep]

    BOHICA = bend over; here it comes again

    Felepsy = patients and family members who continue to drop the "[bleep]" bomb

    Incarceritis = patients who suddenly developed acute chest pain while on the way to jail. Also commonly called "jailitis"

    TMB = Too Many Birthdays

    Some pts need referrals to the Follow Up Care Unit (FUC-U)

    DX: Hypovicodinemia. (not enough vicodin  vicodin addicts)

    They aren't frequent flyers anymore; they're "Experienced consumers of healthcare services."

    ICP = Immaculate conception pregnancy. "But I can't be pregnant!"

    VicoProFlex = The s/p MVA combo of Vicodin, Ibuprofen, and Flexeril.

    Status Adolescencus = Teenage brats

    DWPA = death with paramedic assist

    NRGP = Need to rid gene pool

    DBDK = Dead but doesn't know it

    He's a flyer; get the helicopter

    NHA = Not him/her again

    DNN = Doctor needs a nap

    DNTO= Doctor needs a time out

    NMP,NMP (nump, nump) not my patient, not my problem (once you send the patient up to the floor, or occasionally, when a fellow nurse has a real pain in the [bleep] patient )

    DDGB = Drug deal gone bad

    "little old nursing home pt. that upon arrival is confused, disoriented, tachycardic, hypotensive, and not making any urine. After rehydration with about 3 liters normal saline, he wakes up and asks "Hey, where's my cigarettes?" gives us: IHBJAW - Instant Human Being; Just Add Water"

    CFA = Cry For Attention

    ASL = Assess Stupidity Level

    HT = Health Tourist

    UHTEP (pronounced U TEP) = Using Hospital to Try to Escape Police

    HI = Human Icicle

    GDFD = Got Drunk + Fell Down

    FNS = Friday Night Syndrome

    DAS = Drunk and Stupid

    DADD = Dead As a Do-do

    TTTR = Tooth to tattoo ratio

    OTL = Out to lunch, usually use this for our pleasantly confused patients

    Pet Rocks/Fossils = water and turn every two hours

    positive "O" sign = nursing home pt comes in via EMS w/mouth wide open and eyes closed

    positive "Q" sign = same as above w/ tongue hanging out (NOT a good sign.)

    hypoCBCemia = what the pt suffers from when she insists on having labs drawn even though she's not sick

    an "excremental" cardiac rhythm = looks like [scat-bleep] (asystole, vfib, etc)

    DIC = Dead in car

    MBD = My Baby Daddy

    HVLT = High Velocity Lead Therapy

    SUIT = Something Up In There....for our female patients.

    Concrete intoxication/therapy = takedown of a psych/unruly patient

    BD = before drinks

    AD = after drinks

    Mutual of Austin = Medicaid (in Texas)

    CCFCCP = "coo-coo for cocoa puffs" (pysch patient)

    Biscuitism = obesity

    Snack Pack = 2 patients from same family

    Family Pack = 3 patients from same family

    Tribal Pack = 4 patients from same family

    Basketball Pack = 5 patients from same family

    UBI = Unexplained Beer Injury

    BBS = Bathe before seeing

    Microdeckia = Not playing with a full deck

    SBATR = Shouldn't be allowed to Reproduce

    MTBFU = My toof be [bleep]ed up

    OTFD = Out The [bleep]ing Door

    HUA = Head up [bleep]

    SP2TWD = ( PRONOUNCED SPITWAD) Self Propelled, Self Perpetuating, Toxic Waste Dump

    Whenever we have to assist the doctor with a pelvic exam we say we are going to "Bush Gardens". (Play on a place in Florida called “Busch Gardens”, owned by Anhauser-Busch)

    Code Pink (Babe in the department)

    HBT = (High [female dog] Titer)

    *Hyperlisteremia: *n. Condition in which unresponsive patient suffers from excessive amounts of ETOH on board in the form of mouth wash.

    *Bag-O-Meds:* n. Large plastic sack containing all of the meds a patient is currently taking or has taken in the past 10 years. Usually contains multiple prescriptions for the same medication from several doctors.

    *Paragod:* n. A paramedic who feels that they know everything there is to know about prehospital medicine and claim to be able to save any patient they contact.

    *Cell Phone Samaritan:* n. People who think they saw an accident as they drive by and call 9-1-1 to report it, but never stop to see if an accident actually happened or if an ambulance is necessary.

    *Famsycian:* n. Bystander (usually a family member on scene) who has determined the patient's condition prior to your arrival by consulting either the Time Life Home Medical Guide or WebMD.**

    *EMT-P:* n. Expensive Medicare Taxi Provider

    *Paramadness:* n. Condition in which paramedics become delusional because they have been running without food, drink or restroom breaks for several hours, causing irritability and ill temperament.

    *Vitamin HEEYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!:* Street term for Narcan, inspired by the common side effect during drug administration when the patient bolts straight up on the stretcher and exclaims “HEEYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! What the [bleep] is going on?”

    *FACBP:* acronym. Fellow of the American College of Bystander Physicians.

    *HIPAAtitis:* n. Condition occurring when safeguarding PHI (private health information) causes you to inflame your own liver!

    *Ejectstrication: *n. Self-extrication of driver or passenger of a vehicle that has been involved in a collision.

    *Ohmygod Squad:* n. A group of onlookers at any MVA (motor vehicle accident), medical call or scene where anyone might be hurt. This group is usually in your way, making it virtually impossible to administer the proper care to your patient. Someone in this group will always walk up and ask you for information concerning the patient. Examples: "Who is it? What happened? Are they dead?"

    *Ecnalubma (ek na lub' ma):* n. A rescue vehicle that can only be seen in the rearview mirror.

    *W.N.L.:* acronym. Used to mean "Within Normal Limits," but after precepting and doing QA/QI with several providers in the past, now means "We Never Looked."

    *Proximity pain: *n. Discomfort that increases and is expressed more loudly as an EMT, triage nurse or doctor approaches, rapidly dies away as providers recede, and rapidly and loudly recurs when providers return. Rapid and effective relief is obtained when the patient can no longer see any medical personnel at all.

    T.A.B. Syndrome: n. A condition in which an EMTs bladder produces an urge to empty upon call tones (Tone Activated Bladder).

    *AAT (Advanced Accelerator Therapy):* n. That wonderful feeling of euphoria you get when you're screaming down the road with lights and sirens.

    *Acute Evaluation Syndrome: n.* Describes the condition of a patient sent to the hospital by a nursing home and the only reason given is “to be evaluated," usually for snoring respirations at 0300.

    *TVR: n.* Modified CPR administered on television shows . TVR is typically done using only the fingertips of one hand at a rate of 3 to 5 compressions per minute while an airway assistant squeezes only the bag during the repeated attempts to defibrillate asystole. (Note: The BVM must be attached to an unsecured ET tube.) Unlike CPR, TVR does not produce annoying deflection of the monitor’s baseline. This keeps the viewer from wondering why on earth a doctor would shock a patient that wasn’t flat line.

    *HONDA: acronym.* Hypertensive, Obese, Non-compliant, Diabetic Adult.

    *Cybershock: n.* A relatively common shock syndrome that effects EMS workers waiting on certification exam results. Usually occurs when checking NREMT website for exam results three times a day, every day, for two weeks, and the scores page actually appears. Depending on the result, the patient usually becomes catatonic momentarily, then erupts in either shouts of joy and elation, or moans of depression. Shouts of joy may be interrupted by wild gyrations, flailing of arms, and non-stop talking. This condition is usually benign and self-limiting; supportive care is all that is required. More importantly, massive supportive care is required for the patient that has a depressive form of this condition, as deep self-doubt may occur. Encouragement and friendly help with studying can do wonders. (See Mailbox-stalker shock.)

    *Manikin-American: n. *The politically correct term to refer to a dummy used for CPR practice.

    *Drama alert: n.* Any minor complaint that is exacerbated by numerous family members/friends believing it to be life-threatening (aka the infamous stubbed toe call). Usually results in having a hysterical patient on your hands.

    *Incarceritis: n. * Any complaint that mysteriously presents when the patient discovers they're about to be in custody.

    *Tachylordy: n. * A serious patient condition categorized by rapid (greater than 100 lordys/min) and repeated calls for intervention by a higher power. Can result in headache and shortness of breath. "Ohhhhh lordy, lordy, lordy, lordy, lordy, lordy." [Related: Bradylordy: n. A serious condition categorized by exceedingly slow (less than 40 lordys/min) and often loud calls for intervention by a higher power. "OHHHHHH looorrrrdddyy, looooorrrrrrddddyyyyy!!!!!!"]

    *Mister Gadget: n*. The EMT/paramedic/firefighter who just happens to own every piece of EMT/fire-related gadgetry available from Gall's catalogue. Mister Gadget can be beneficial in a multi-jurisdictional/multi-problematic event because he does possess all the equipment that would be necessary to run the Incident Command from his POV.

    *Justtookaclassitus (Just-took-a-class-i-tus): n*. A condition in which someone who has just taken a specialty class wants to implement everything from that class into his squad or department. Example: "Joe wants us to buy all new (expensive) Peds equipment, he must have caught JUSTOOKACLASSITUS in that PALS class."

    TUBE = totally unnecessary breast examination

    T&BB = Tylenol & a bye-bye

    Code S in room ________ = Code Stupid; less than pleasant patient

    DOM = dirty old man (male patient that makes moves on you)

    GTOOHN = get them out of here now

    Fruit Loop = nickname for all the psych. and crazy patients

    Had a bowl of stupid = patient does not know what they are talking about

    Bird in the air = helicopter on the way

    DSD = desperately seeking drugs

    FOBSOBSS = Fat old [son of unmarried parents] short of breath shoveling snow - used for our old guys that come in the winter complaining about chest pain and shortness of breath after shoveling snow 1 + hour.

    MALS = Mean [bleep] little surgeon

    SNIC = Stupid new intern, clueless

    chronic cerebromalacia (softening of the brain)

    D.B. as in "did anybody know we have a D.B. in the hall?" dead body

    Over come by Jesus = people who come in because they fainted, felt faint, had chest pain or whatever during church services.

    And this isn't an acronym, but more of a saying regarding the patient that is on the verge of death, "This patient is getting a Celestial Transfer".

    SPAK = status post [bleep]-kicking (got in a fight)

    WHOML = worst headache of my life (wants demerol)

    HHS = hysterical hispanic syndrome; We use this for the ones who are crying like they just lost their loved one but came to the ER for a runny nose.
    (from another nurse) Here in the San Fernando Valley we call it HP = hispanic panic

    SCC = suicide completion course

    "psycho-ceramic" = (crackpot)

    "Toxic sock syndrome" = smell given off by bare feet of street people.

    TNTC = complaints "too numerous to count"

    Fluttering eye syndrome = pretending to be unconscious

    Human purse = female psych pts. who insert odd objects into their vaginas; ie. paper, wire, bottle caps, their hospital ID bracelet, etc..........

    Crazy as a [scat-bleep] house rat

    Academy award winners = Drama Queens/Kings

    Doing the shakey dance = having a seizure

    Goat that stinks to high heaven from bad hygiene

    Turkey wrap = homemade bandages made from paper towels, toilet paper, wash cloth...etc taped with electrical tape, masking tape, etc....

    Scratchers = so-called suicide attempts made by scratching your wrists with a sharp object, usually very superficial wounds.

    Sponge = patients who can handle large amounts of narcotics and constantly ask for more

    Medical Genius or amateur MD/nurse = Those pts. who "know everything" but who's greatest educational accomplishment was learning how to write their name!

    AGAC = ain't got a clue

    ODD DDR = Out da door and down da road

    Chicken breath ("She can't breathe" said with a Spanish accent)

    Twofer = Mom brings both her kids in for the same complaint, or brings one in for an acute problem and figures she might as well sign in the other for the cold he's had for a week.

    Bundle of misery = 80+ degrees outside and babies (always the Hispanic ones) are dressed in 4 layers of clothes, three blankets of increasing thickness, topped off by one of those thick, furry acrylic blankets. Usual complaint: "Fever"

    Wheezing Geezer = COPD pt. who still smokes

    To go bag = body bag

    Just saw this. "Positive bag sign" which is the family or patient planning the hospital stay prior to the ER eval. If it is Friday night, an elderly patient and the family packs the bag it.
    I call it babysitting for weekend.

    LGDNN = Look Good Do Nothing Nurse

    BBLN = Busy Bee, Lousy Nurse

    HDAH = Heart Doctor with Absent Heart

    SMS = Stupid Mother Syndrome

    SDS = Stupid Doctor Syndrome

    WNWA = Work Note Walk About

    EEER = Erroneously Educated ER DOC

    HGBC = Heart of Gold, Brain of Coal
    "I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."

  2. #2
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    FWIW, OMG do they really use these?

    I think I've been DQA'ed for sure at times.

  3. #3
    Member Array gilliland87's Avatar
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    phx, az

    ok I gotta ask


  4. #4
    Senior Member Array gilraen's Avatar
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    I'm pretty sure several of them are, but some were probably made up just for the threads I read.

    At the very least, Bird in the air, Treat and street, Circling the drain, Dead right there, Tooth to tattoo ratio, LOLNAD, GOMER, O and Q signs, I'm pretty sure are real. I think BOHICA, SUIT, and Norsaline are really used, too.
    "I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array stevem174's Avatar
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    Code 219 B is the 2nd letter of the alphabet, S is the 19th
    Don't do things you don't want to explain to the Paramedics!

    Stupidity should be painful.

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array Superhouse 15's Avatar
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    Love it.
    Try not to screw up so bad they name the screw up after you. (Station 15 saying)

    NRA Certifed Instructor

  7. #7
    Distinguished Member Array razor02097's Avatar
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    code brown = missing patient
    There is something about firing 4,200 thirty millimeter rounds/min that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

  8. #8
    Member Array Medic218's Avatar
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    DFW, Tx
    Quote Originally Posted by razor02097 View Post
    code brown = missing patient
    HA..deffinitly not!

    DAS= Dead As (poo)

    "Hispanicas Panicas"
    "African American Anaphylaxis"--Usually accompanied by Tachylordy
    "Honky Hysteria"

    Ive heard of several of those and can deffinitly vouch but alot of em were new to me.
    "I don't like repeat offenders, I like DEAD offenders!" -- Ted Nugent
    "Not everyone can be born with common sense, some are born liberals." -- MM218

  9. #9
    Distinguished Member Array razor02097's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MedicMan218 View Post
    HA..deffinitly not!
    no really.... I work in a hospital. In said hospital the codes are as follows.

    Code red = fire
    Code pink/Adam = missing infant/child
    Code brown = missing patient
    Code gray= Tornado/severe weather
    Code blue = medical emergency
    Code yellow = disaster (influx of patients)
    Code black/silver = security emergency (combative person, bomb threat, terrorist, sometimes separate)

    I think the reference came from made up hospitals...
    Quote Originally Posted by wikipedia pop culture reference
    "Code Brown" is a colloquialism used to indicate that a patient has defecated on themselves and requires cleanup. In addition to being a commonly-used term by rank-and-file healthcare workers, it is referenced many times in earlier seasons of "E.R.", as well as in a webisode of "Scrubs".
    There is something about firing 4,200 thirty millimeter rounds/min that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

  10. #10
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    DRT = Dead Right There
    DRTTT = Dead Right There, and There, and There... (usually used following pedestrian v. train collisions)
    Battle Plan (n) - a list of things that aren't going to happen if you are attacked.
    Blame it on Sixto - now that is a viable plan.

    Learning to shoot again : Starting Over

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    VIP Member Array paramedic70002's Avatar
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    Transfer to the ECU (Eternal Care Unit AKA Funeral Home).

    I've used/hears about 10 % of those but I totally believe somewhere in America they are all genuine.

    Should be a required course in reality in EMT, nurse and Doctor schools.
    "Each worker carried his sword strapped to his side." Nehemiah 4:18

    Guns Save Lives. Paramedics Save Lives. But...
    Paramedics With Guns Scare People!

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Now I iknow why medical school is so long,first four years you learn all the acronyms
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  13. #13
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    ADASTW - Arrived Dead And Stayed That Way.

    Usually applied to unsuccessful resuscitation efforts in the field.

    Battle Plan (n) - a list of things that aren't going to happen if you are attacked.
    Blame it on Sixto - now that is a viable plan.

    Learning to shoot again : Starting Over

  14. #14
    Member Array Ghuqu2's Avatar
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    Missed two we used:

    CTD - Circling The Drain

    P5T - Piss Poor Protoplasm Poorly Put Together
    "The millions of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a country as that which we possess, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us." Patrick Henry 1775

    Vegetarian: Indian for inept hunter.

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    If the cops ever catch "some dude", ER business would be cut in half. i.e. Who shot you? Some dude.

    from car dealership:
    LTB - last time buyer

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