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About LinkBacksNow this made me laugh out loud...Originally Posted by DwnRangeKing
This is a discussion on Colonoscopy Journal within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by DwnRangeKing I woke up during mine.....all I could see was the monitor the Dr. was using to guide his way. I was ...
Now this made me laugh out loud...
"That I cannot do."
"Give this to, uh, Clemenza. I want reliable people, people who aren't going to be carried away. After all we're not murderers in spite of what this undertaker thinks."
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Sixto: No my screen name is from my high school's mascot, but I do see your point.
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having had some issues with the plumbing that are rather uncomfortable i have had several myself over the past few years...the procedure is nothing...the prep is a visit to hell and back and the best damned cleaning out youll ever get...
the awake procedure sounds like a sygmoidoscopy....they dont go all the way with that one and i have had the procedure and watched it on the screen...amazing what they can do with that tool and even more amazing that when its over you dont really know it was up there...
i'm sure its a good paying proffession but damn it just gest a bit too ugly for my liking...
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Had my first one a few months ago, and had read the Dave Barry article at that time. It's fairly accurate, the prep is the worst part. I had "Half-Lightly" - I'd hate to imagine what "Full-Lightly" would be like.
I slept through the procedure. Actually, I'm not sure 'slept' is accurate - rumor has it that the anesthetic used causes short-term amnesia so you just don't remember it.
The good news was they told me I don't have to come back for 10 years for the next one.
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Recently had my first at age 66. I finally gave in to my primary care physician who kept harping about the need for it. I got it on a Monday and my wife got it the following Wed. The anesthesiolgist called the anesthetic, milk of amnesia. It's a white liquid that you can watch going into the IV tube. Look quick because you won't have much time to think about it. It's like instant "fade to black". The good news is there is no hangover effect or nausea like with general anesthetic. My result was slight colitis which is being treated with a wonderful blue capsule the size of a compact Buick, twice a day. Otherwise all is well. What a relief! My wife had a minor bout of diverticulitis that is responding well to a fiber supplement. I won't wait another 66 years before the next one. It was the best nap I ever had.
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i asked the anesthesiologist how long i had before the stuff took effect while she was injecting it into the iv...she said about 30 seconds...i said you think so cause i dont feel anything...she said..well ive been doing it a while and we'll see ya later...i looked up and said "there it is. i'll be going now" while she smiled back and the next thing i knew i was looking up at my wife in recovery...amazing stuff...
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If you are 40 or older, consider having the procedure now...if you are 50 or older...WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???
My wife is having her first colonoscopy tomorrow...I'm taking the day off to accompany her, both for morale support and to drive her home when she wakes up...
It really comes down to this...
The probe, and live long...or ignore the discomfort and take the risk...
VCDL Member
"Let us speak courteously, deal fairly, and keep ourselves armed and ready."
Theodore Roosevelt
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I've had 3, and I'm only 55. But I have IBS and diverticulitis.
I have found, to my doctor's dismay, that I cannot drink any of those liquids. The last one I tried was slimy, like snot, and I was in tears after the first few sips. I called her, saying I couldn't drink it. She called in another one, and I couldn't drink it either. Even if it was supposed to be "cherry-flavored."
I finally demanded the pills that are available, or I was going to call off the whole procedure. She gave in, I spent a day in the bathroom, and a half-day at the clinic.
No big deal, now. Do it. You don't want colon cancer.
"I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."
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Been there, done that, +1 on seat belt for the commode.
I had been told many times I was full of it.
After the gallon of Go-Lytely (what a cutesie name!) I was no longer full of anything.
They told me in the waiting area, while former co-workers were coming over to ask how my latest book was coming along, that I would wake up and say "Okay, you can start now."
I said "Yeah, right. Watch it wit' da wise cracks, fella, or you'll find yourself in my next novel!"
My wife kissed my forehead and they wheeled me into the work room.
I remember a slight metallic taste when the nurse stuck the syringe in my IV line, and I said "I feel a slight dysequilibrium," then I opened my eyes.
I was in the recovery area.
Puzzled, I said "Okay, you can start now."
They have not let me live that one down.
"Deine Papieren bitte?" or "ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ !"
(Choose only one)
NRA Endowment Member
"I bark at no man's bid. I will never come and go, and fetch and carry, at the whistle of the great man in the White House no matter who he is." -- David Crockett
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When I had my "Happy 50th Birthday" procedure, I had to drink GoLytely. Now, my wife is having the procedure and they gave her HalfLytely. I keep telling her that she is only getting a half-assed colonoscopy! :)
Just be happy for the "new" prep procedures.
I won't go into details about the "you wash it out" of my earlier ones, but "Fleets" has changed it's point of (or should I say orifice of) entry.
Last edited by DaveH; June 17th, 2010 at 08:35 PM.
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I'm just one root in a grassroots organization. No one should assume that I speak for the VCDL.
I am neither an attorney-at-law nor I do play one on television or on the internet. No one should assumes my opinion is legal advice.
Veni, Vidi, Velcro
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First time Fleet, second time Golytely
Prep is the worst part while anesthetic the best
Procedure sounds revolting but can be Life-Saver
Insurance covers 100% so there is no reason to not Get-R-Done
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My General Physician seemed to be disappointed after he got the report on the results.... the Doc who did it said "it's all pink like a man in his 20's and no issues at all.... do not recommend another for 10 yrs". I'm well beyond my 20's. It makes me wonder about ny General Physician.
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Bob The Anal Fissure
Bob the Anal Fissure
This is one of the funniest things I have ever read on the internet.
Healthy children will not fear life, if their parents have integrity enough not to fear death.
-TIME DEUM ET OPERARE IUSTITIAM--
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Well, we're home and the wife survived "the poke"...
Two small polyps were removed...the Doc says they look benign, but we'll have to wait a week for the tests...
Now I get to pamper her for the rest of the day...but it's over!!!
As many have said...GET IT DONE...Live long and prosper!!!
VCDL Member
"Let us speak courteously, deal fairly, and keep ourselves armed and ready."
Theodore Roosevelt
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