Top my day!!

This is a discussion on Top my day!! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; At least 10 to 12 mosquito bites, then the porch swing collapses with me on it. You would think I would weigh less after the ...

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Thread: Top my day!!

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array jhh3rd's Avatar
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    Top my day!!

    At least 10 to 12 mosquito bites, then the porch swing collapses with me on it. You would think I would weigh less after the blood loss from the mosquitoes.

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  3. #2
    Member Array Back 40's Avatar
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    That's pretty funny, sounds like my luck. Which is hurt more the pride or the body?

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    Senior Member Array CCWFlaRuger's Avatar
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    At least your dog didn't run away!
    "You will not rise to the occasion and you will not default to your level of training. You WILL ONLY default to the level of training you have mastered."
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    Senior Member Array jhh3rd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Back 40 View Post
    That's pretty funny, sounds like my luck. Which is hurt more the pride or the body?
    Well, I am 50 so pride goeth before the fall.

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    Ex Member Array WhoWeBePart1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jhh3rd View Post
    then the porch swing collapses with me on it.
    Call me twisted but I really did laugh out loud when I read that. Still laughing as I type this. I've seen it happen before so I can picture it pretty well in my head.

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    Senior Member Array jhh3rd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoWeBePart1 View Post
    Call me twisted but I really did laugh out loud when I read that. Still laughing as I type this. I've seen it happen before so I can picture it pretty well in my head.
    You think that was funny? Ask me about driving the lawnmower into a swimming pool. I was trying to get out of the rain.

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    Member Array EPIC SCUMBAG's Avatar
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    Glad you're alright. I totally understand about the mosquitoes as there is plenty of them in Florida. Every time it rains they come out in abundance to feed. I always get attacked....maybe it's because I taste like bacon.

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    Distinguished Member Array Ghettokracker71's Avatar
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    Hahaha, sounds like "fun"!

    Quote Originally Posted by jhh3rd View Post
    You think that was funny? Ask me about driving the lawnmower into a swimming pool. I was trying to get out of the rain.

    ,...DO TELL! (Got any pics?)


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  10. #9
    Member Array Shackleton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jhh3rd View Post
    You think that was funny? Ask me about driving the lawnmower into a swimming pool. I was trying to get out of the rain.
    I'm holding my breath for story/pics!!
    Semper Paratus

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    Member Array UnklFungus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jhh3rd View Post
    You think that was funny? Ask me about driving the lawnmower into a swimming pool. I was trying to get out of the rain.
    Oh, you gotta elaborate on this, it's cruel to just leave us hanging!!!! If this was caught on video, I'd buy a copy!
    “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.”

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    If it is ok to disarm legal citizens to reduce crime, then doesn't it stand to disband the military to prevent war?

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    VIP Member Array Hiram25's Avatar
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    I was going to tell you to be careful because bad things usually happen in threes! Then you mentioned the lawn mower incident. Your safe!
    Hiram25
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    VIP Member Array packinnova's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jhh3rd View Post
    You think that was funny? Ask me about driving the lawnmower into a swimming pool. I was trying to get out of the rain.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ghettokracker71 View Post
    Hahaha, sounds like "fun"!




    ,...DO TELL! (Got any pics?)
    Quote Originally Posted by Shackleton View Post
    I'm holding my breath for story/pics!!
    Quote Originally Posted by UnklFungus View Post
    Oh, you gotta elaborate on this, it's cruel to just leave us hanging!!!! If this was caught on video, I'd buy a copy!
    Quote Originally Posted by Hiram25 View Post
    I was going to tell you to be careful because bad things usually happen in threes! Then you mentioned the lawn mower incident. Your safe!
    Do tell... You can't just leave one like that hanging open. I've done some doosies in my time, but that one just sounds like it takes the cake!
    "My God David, We're a Civilized society."

    "Sure, As long as the machines are workin' and you can call 911. But you take those things away, you throw people in the dark, and you scare the **** out of them; no more rules...You'll see how primitive they can get."
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  14. #13
    Senior Member Array jhh3rd's Avatar
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    LAWN MOWER STORY: I have a Snapper rider that is a 5 speed you change manually. I was mowing for a friend and a violent thunderstorm was popping up and I didn't want to get soaked or zapped so I let off the blades and put it in fifth (fastest) gear. They have a covered deck area between the house and pool. I had to drive between a parked car on the left and a retaining wall on the right.

    I made it between the obstacles and pushed in the clutch/brake to stop. I turned the wheels hard right to get undercover, forgot I was in fifth gear, let off the clutch brake, and the front wheels came off the ground and guess where I was heading in a straight line.

    The front wheels finally came down and one of them was already over the edge of the pool and that sucker was still in fifth gear! We sank slowly to the bottom of the shallow end. The last thing I thought about before I went in was to hold my breath and hope for lightning to strike.

    The homeowner freaked, jumped in the pool and started struggling to get the mower out because it is a VINYL LINED POOL THAT I HELPED THEM INSTALL! I pushed from the back where the engine and all of the weight is on a Snapper. I changed the oil, put on a new gas and air filter, and she runs like a top.

    Aftermath: ruined cell phone, my S&W model 38 bodyguard was fine, the soaked ammo fired the next day, ego destroyed and my wife sent me two balloons tied to a snorkel and mask at work the next day. My back was never the same because I was already hurting from picking my late father up so many times (dementia). No pictures no video. To think, I still buy lottery tickets.

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