New one by me. Very funny.
This is a discussion on joke of the day- no pics, slightly painfull within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A drunk got up from the bar and headed for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream was heard from the ...
A drunk got up from the bar and headed for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream was heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberated through the bar. The bartender went into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk was screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring the customers!" "I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the h..l out of my testicles." With that, the bartender opened the door, looked in and said..."You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
New one by me. Very funny.
The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD
that reminds me oh this joke.
A salesman was on a very long flight and before boarding he was cautioned that all the men’s rooms were out of order for the flight. He needs to get to his next appointment and decides to take the flight anyway, about half way into the flight and way too many drinks later he really needs to go.
Stopping a female flight attendant he relates his troubles, and how badly he really needs to go. She relents to stand guard and let him use the female facilities, however she cautions him to not touch any thing in the room especially the buttons. He agrees quickly entering the room before an accident can occur.
Sitting on the toilet and much relieved he looks about himself noting just how nicely the room is decorated compared to a men’s room, glancing about he notes a conveniently located set of buttons, marked “WW”, “WA”, “PP”, and “ATR”.
Looking about further he thinks “who will know” and he carefully pushes the button marked “WW”. Too his delight his rear end is sprayed with a gentle mist of Warm Water.
Thinking that was cool and wondering what “WA” stood for he carefully pushes it, and is rewarded with a blast of Warm Air to dry his rear.
Thinking “WOW these gals have it real nice” he boldly pushes the button marked “PP” and his rear end is Puffed with a fragrant Powder.
Now he is excited, “Wow WW is warm water, WA is warm air, and PP is a Puff of Powder, I wonder what “ATR” stands for”, and he boldly pushes it, where as he screams with pain and passes out.
Sometime later he awakes in a hospital with the female flight attendant standing over him. Shakily he looks up and says “what happened.” She says “you pushed the buttons and I cautioned you not too.”
He says “look I know that but I have to know, WW was warm water, WA warm air, and PP was a puff of powder, what the heck does “ATR” stand for?
She replies “ATR” stands for Automatic Tampon Remover, and you will find your male parts in a jar beside your bed.”
Last edited by Sheldon J; June 19th, 2006 at 10:57 PM.
"The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century