Your Bad Joke Of The Day!!

[GunnyBunny]

A preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."


With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"


Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.


After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til next week."

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[CCWFlaRuger]

The funniest joke in the world:



A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.



The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”



The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”



There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

[boatail]

New Health Care..HaHaHa!

[DaveH]

Two hunters are out in the woods on their first deer hunting trip. They get completely lost.

Hunter # 1 "What can we do. It'll be dark, soon?"

Hunter # 2 "I've read that if you wait until a half hour after sun-set and fire groups of three shots, folk will come to your rescue.

A bit later:

Hunter # 1 "Well it hasn't worked so far."

Hunter # 2 "I know! We only have one more try and then we'll be out of arrows."

[Hiram25]

Woman wants to go deer hunting with her husband. He isn't too keen on the idea, but she insists. He takes her out and puts her way up on the side of a hill in a tree stand, figuring she can't hurt much there. He then goes to the other side of the hill and takes up his position. After about 30 minutes he hears all kinds of shooting from his wife's position and then a lot of yelling. He hurries to her aid only to find her pointing her gun at a man who is screaming, "OK Lady, you can have the deer, just let me get the saddle off of him!"

[retsupt99]

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named, Steve?"

[dsee11789]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Why did the snake fall out of the tree?

Because it was stapled to the monkey.

[nedrgr21]

Fish swims into a piece of concrete and says, "dam".

So this baby seal walks into a club ...

[chiefjason]

If it takes a chicken and a half a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long does it take a peg leg cockroach to stomp a hole in a stale biscuit? It can't be done. Because ice cream has no bones.

[msgt/ret]

01/20/09 The dawn of a new error.

[blazer]

Guys out hunting and walks into a clearing where there's a nude woman sitting on a blanket, he asks her are you game? She says yes. So he shoots her.

[gimpy]

What's brown and looks like a stick?

A stick.

[jca1]

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named, Steve?"

I swear I laughed at this.

[babyhulk]

Q: Where do sheep get their hair cut??




A: At the baa-baa shop!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other SLIDE.

[tbrenke]

MY 5 YEAR OLD.
what is green with wheels.........
grass. I was kidding about the wheels.