In the beginning

This is a discussion on In the beginning within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach combined with an abundance of green, yellow and red vegetables. He did this ...

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Thread: In the beginning

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    In the beginning

    In the beginning, God covered the
    earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach
    combined with an abundance of green, yellow and red vegetables.
    He did this so that Man and Woman
    would live long and healthy lives.

    Then, using God\'s bountiful gifts,
    Satan created Dairy Queen and Tim Horton\'s. And
    Satan said: \"You want hot fudge with that?\" And Man
    said: \"Yes!\" And Woman said: \"I\'ll have one,
    too...with sprinkles.\" And lo and behold they gained 10 pounds.

    And God created the healthful yogurt
    that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so
    fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the
    wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them.
    And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.

    So God said: \"Try my fresh green
    garden salad.\" And Satan presented crumbled Bleu
    Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side. And
    Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

    God then said: \"I have sent you
    heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to
    cook them.\" And Satan brought forth deep-fried
    coconut shrimp, butter-dipped lobster chunks, and
    chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
    platter. And Man\'s cholesterol went through the roof.

    Then God brought forth the potato,
    naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and
    good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthful
    skin, sliced the starchy center into chips and
    deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious
    quantities of salt. And Man packed on more pounds.

    God then brought forth running shoes
    so that his children might lose those extra pounds.
    And Satan introduced cable TV with remote control so
    Man would not have to toil changing the channels.
    And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the
    flickering light and started wearing stretchy lycra
    jogging suits.

    God then gave lean beef so that Man
    might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his
    appetite. And Satan created McDonald\'s and the
    99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan said: \"You
    want fries with that?\" And Man replied: \"Yes! And
    super size \'em!\" And Satan said: \" It is good.\"
    And Man and Woman went into cardiac
    arrest.


    God sighed...and created quadruple
    by-pass surgery.

    Satan chuckled and created The
    Canadian Health Care System.

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