Just my luck!

This is a discussion on Just my luck! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; So, there I was, just eating lunch at a local fast food joint (salad, get off my back already!), when in walks a VERY attractive ...

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Thread: Just my luck!

  1. #1
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    Just my luck!

    So, there I was, just eating lunch at a local fast food joint (salad, get off my back already!), when in walks a VERY attractive woman in her late twenties or early thirties. I noticed her right away because of my high situational awareness. She was dressed casually in dark slacks and a polo shirt. As she carried her tray to her table across the dinning room I could see her ring finger was bare and as she turned to sit down I saw that she was open carrying a nice Sig.

    The lady was a few years younger than me and a bit out of my league, but, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Right? I thought a compliment on her choice of sidearm would be a nice opening. So, as I was finished with my lunch, I got up, collected my things and started across the room, walking toward her table. As I approached she shifted in her seat and turned a little more in my direction.

    That was when I heard, very clearly, in my head, Homer Simpson shout, “DOOOH!”

    I could now see, directly in front of her holster, was a very shiny badge, and the logo on her polo shirt could clearly be seen as “East Lansing Police Department”.

    I managed to keep a straight face until I got to the exit, and then burst out laughing at myself! The couple walking in the door must have thought I was crazy.

    The story of my life!

    I just thought I’d share. If you can’t laugh at yourself, what can you laugh at?
    "Mind own business"
    "Always cut cards"

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array joker1's Avatar
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    So you didn't go ahead and lay your groove down? Are hot LEO's off limits? One more I learned this from another forum....wait for it, wait for it....

    PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
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    Why didn't you talk to her?
    Sometimes I wonder who the old man in the mirror is....

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    VIP Member Array paaiyan's Avatar
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    Agreed Joker, who says cops don't need soulmates?
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    Hm, so it's my badge that's keeping all the hotties from hitting on me!
    A man fires a rifle for many years, and he goes to war. And afterward he turns the rifle in at the armory, and he believes he's finished with the rifle. But no matter what else he might do with his hands - love a woman, build a house, change his son's diaper - his hands remember the rifle.

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    Lol! I couldn't keep a straight face! All of my usual openings disapeared. All that was going throught my head was "DOOOH!"

    I imagine that a guy walking up to her table who bursts out laughing uncontrolably probably wasn't going to get very far. I cut my losses.

    That was three hours ago and I'm still laughing. Oh, well.
    "Mind own business"
    "Always cut cards"

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    Member Array Night Flight's Avatar
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    Since open carry is not legal in East Lansing or Michigan I guess that would have been the first clue she was police , or a crook. Either way, ya might wanna leave here alone. LOL
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    Quote Originally Posted by Night Flight View Post
    Since open carry is not legal in East Lansing or Michigan I guess that would have been the first clue she was police , or a crook. Either way, ya might wanna leave here alone. LOL
    Actually, OC is indeed legal in Michigan.
    "Mind own business"
    "Always cut cards"

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    VIP Member Array joker1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoadRunner71 View Post
    Lol! I couldn't keep a straight face! All of my usual openings disapeared. All that was going throught my head was "DOOOH!"

    I imagine that a guy walking up to her table who bursts out laughing uncontrolably probably wasn't going to get very far. I cut my losses.

    That was three hours ago and I'm still laughing. Oh, well.
    So what is your go-to line when approaching a hot open carrying female? Ya wanna go knock off liquor store with me?
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    Quote Originally Posted by joker1 View Post
    So what is your go-to line when approaching a hot open carrying female? Ya wanna go knock off liquor store with me?
    Always compliment a woman on her accessories! You know, her shoes, her holster,...... her handcuffs, that sort of thing!
    "Mind own business"
    "Always cut cards"

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    VIP Member Array paaiyan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoadRunner71 View Post
    Always compliment a woman on her accessories! You know, her shoes, her holster,...... her handcuffs, that sort of thing!
    Great first date gift! At the local gun store/rage I saw a set of pink and black tiger-stripe handcuffs.
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    VIP Member Array mprp's Avatar
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    Sounds like you went from SA to tunnel vision. Don't lock up just because she's a LEO. If you run into her again, tell her the story you just told us. Just don't go, "DOOOOH!" You may get shot.
    Vietnam Vets, WELCOME HOME

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    So my granddaughter calls me from Michigan the other day and tells me she is getting really frustrated with men. She's a LEO and put off by the BS from her local shop and wanted to look outside for an interesting man to spend time with. Since we have talked for hours on end - probably because I don't talk down to her and have time for her to tell her stories, she wanted to meet an older man without all the sexual innuendo of the 'guys'.

    She tells me she goes into this fast food place and because of her excellent SA notices a man across the room carrying concealed. She has a thing for spotting them. She looked his way and caught him looking at her with a silly grin, so she gave him her semi-smile, a friendly but not come-on smile. She catches him out the corner of her eye get up and head her way and she was hopeful he would stop and say hi. When he got closer she looked at him and turned her body in an open body language way, but he suddenly veered away and practically ran out the door almost knocking down another couple coming in. She was really disappointed and wondering what's wrong with her. She's really lonely but not looking for the hot couple thing, just a good friend who isn't afraid of her line of work.

    I let her talk it out and told her how special she is and that I loved her. I told her that some men loose self confidence as they age and while the gun gives them a sense of control, they are really afraid of saying the first words to a pretty woman. I suggested she just smile and say hi to one she thinks shes interested in. Maybe even ask to join him for lunch if he is already seated. That should give him the confidence to continue the conversation. She can direct the conversation away from the job if she wants and if he turns out to be a dork like the one who walked past her, all she lost was a few minutes at lunch.

    As usual, she was so sweet with me and we teased back and forth for a few minutes before she had to go. God I love the phone when my closest are so far away. It's good to hear the voice over trading email.

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    VIP Member Array joker1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldLincoln View Post
    So my granddaughter calls me from Michigan the other day and tells me she is getting really frustrated with men. She's a LEO and put off by the BS from her local shop and wanted to look outside for an interesting man to spend time with. Since we have talked for hours on end - probably because I don't talk down to her and have time for her to tell her stories, she wanted to meet an older man without all the sexual innuendo of the 'guys'.

    She tells me she goes into this fast food place and because of her excellent SA notices a man across the room carrying concealed. She has a thing for spotting them. She looked his way and caught him looking at her with a silly grin, so she gave him her semi-smile, a friendly but not come-on smile. She catches him out the corner of her eye get up and head her way and she was hopeful he would stop and say hi. When he got closer she looked at him and turned her body in an open body language way, but he suddenly veered away and practically ran out the door almost knocking down another couple coming in. She was really disappointed and wondering what's wrong with her. She's really lonely but not looking for the hot couple thing, just a good friend who isn't afraid of her line of work.

    I let her talk it out and told her how special she is and that I loved her. I told her that some men loose self confidence as they age and while the gun gives them a sense of control, they are really afraid of saying the first words to a pretty woman. I suggested she just smile and say hi to one she thinks shes interested in. Maybe even ask to join him for lunch if he is already seated. That should give him the confidence to continue the conversation. She can direct the conversation away from the job if she wants and if he turns out to be a dork like the one who walked past her, all she lost was a few minutes at lunch.

    As usual, she was so sweet with me and we teased back and forth for a few minutes before she had to go. God I love the phone when my closest are so far away. It's good to hear the voice over trading email.
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoadRunner71 View Post
    Lol! I couldn't keep a straight face! All of my usual openings disapeared. All that was going throught my head was "DOOOH!"

    I imagine that a guy walking up to her table who bursts out laughing uncontrolably probably wasn't going to get very far. I cut my losses.

    That was three hours ago and I'm still laughing. Oh, well.
    Could have opened with my gun is bigger than your gun.

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