I need some advice from people older/wizer than me

I need some advice from people older/wizer than me

This is a discussion on I need some advice from people older/wizer than me within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Long story short: My wife is unhappy in her current job, has been for a while now. Is life too short to be unhappy? There ...

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Thread: I need some advice from people older/wizer than me

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array jca1's Avatar
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    I need some advice from people older/wizer than me

    Long story short:

    My wife is unhappy in her current job, has been for a while now.

    Is life too short to be unhappy?

    There are no other jobs available really in our area, she makes decent pay(more than me). We have no debt, own our home.

    We can live off my check but will have no savings money.

    She does have a dream and some ideas. Is now the right time to leave her job and try to grab her dream.

    I struggle with this because I have never left a job without another job lined up.

    If you had no bills except utilities and such; TV, Ins., security, power, gas, food, etc. what would you do?
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  2. #2
    Distinguished Member Array pcon's Avatar
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    It's hard to ask for advice on things such as this...truly, only you can decide if it's right or not. Is she currently at least looking for another job? I'd say if you're only going to eek by on your check, it may be unwise unless her situation is an abusive one.
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  3. #3
    Distinguished Member Array phreddy's Avatar
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    Are her "dreams and ideas" potentionally money making? If so, how much can she do in her spare time while still working. That would give you a chance to build up your savings, and when the "dreams and ideas" started making money, she could quit and follow them full time. It would also allow her to keep her present job in case her dreams and ideas did not pan out. I have a freind in her early 40's who is currently doing the same thing. She has a full time job and has started a public relations company in the evenings and weekends. She also has a 3 year old daughter, so you can find the time if you really want to.

  4. #4
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    Even if she is unhappy in her job, it is her job that allows you to live the lifestyle that you are living; losing that income will be disastrous to your situation. BUT, she is also in a position that she can either work from within to change the things she is unhappy about, or, start setting herself up for something she will be more satisfied with. I would not leave a job in this economy and hope for the best. What if you lost your job?
    "Just blame Sixto"

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    Agree with Sixto but with no information about your ages, potential for assistance from family, savings, retirement savings, nature of your wife's occupation, it is not possible for anyone to provide a realistic answer.

    It is wonderful that about half of us have jobs we are satisfied with, but the rest must learn that a job is a means to an end and not who you are. It isn't about happiness and self-gratification. Make your life outside of work not on the job. Put up with 8 hours of whatever so you can enjoy the other 16.

    The exceptions are as someone mentioned if the environment at work is badly abusive or the job is such that you carry it on your shoulders 24/7 and bring the misery home.

    Good luck with a tough decision.

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array glockman10mm's Avatar
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    You only live once. To me it would be a sad thing to grow old and look back with regret. Your not really living if you never step out.

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    VIP Member Array wmhawth's Avatar
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    I need some advice from people older/wizer than me
    I'm no doubt older. Maybe not "wizer" (wiser).....More likely "wizened" but I'd advise her not to leave a good paying job in these economic times. In better times I'd tell her to go for it.

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array automatic slim's Avatar
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    In this economy there's no such thing as too much income. Tell her to stick with it unless you win the lottery.
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  9. #9
    cmb
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    Senior Member Array cmb's Avatar
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    It does somewhat depend upon your age, your retirement accounts, investments, children and insurance situation... and unless you just want to share that isn't to be public... I am possibly not older, maybe not wiser, but I do assist people occasionally with finances as a pastor because it is an issue in life and is one of the top reasons for problems in marriage... so consider your decision carefully, here is my very humble advice:

    Unless the situation is abusive, or drastically affecting your marriage, I would stick it out. But stop living on her income, bank it all and live on yours for 2-3 months, (in fact I would bank everything possible "no extras" for 1 month, to see what it takes and how little you can actually make it on) while looking for a change or even something with less hours, maybe part time clerical, retail just something to do and a small check with less hassle, work for productive change where she is at if possible, and then once I had 6 months of reserve income... I would make the idea of leaving a real possibilty... again my advice might change based upon other information mentioned... I hope this helps and provokes some patient thought and consideration from you both, PM me if you'd like, I'll remember you in my prayers.
    Last edited by cmb; August 27th, 2010 at 11:49 AM. Reason: spelling

  10. #10
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    If she's thinking about starting a business, odds are against her. But I'd still go for it

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    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Particularly if her "dream" is practical and has a decent chance of taking off, it sounds like now is the perfect opportunity. Of course, it does remove your safety net in the event that your job is eliminated or you get let go from your current job. It is a very bad time right now, with the economy. Some places around the country are downright awful, in terms of being able to find work. One choice, perhaps the safer route, would be to scrimp and save for the next year or two, putting away enough so that you'd be able to live at least a year on zero income without having to dip into investments. As some have said, there's no such thing as too much income, in economic times such as we're seeing now. But you both seem to live frugally. You haven't said anything about what sort of opportunity this is, what the "dream" consists of. Hard to say, without knowledge of the risk of going for it. I'd say, weigh the odds of success and then go for it if it's something you really want.
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    VIP Member Array SpringerXD's Avatar
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    You didn't specify how old you are or how wise you are, so I'm not sure if I should be responding.

    But seriously, a coworker some years ago passed on a piece of wisdom he got from someone he knew:

    "You know how everyone always says that life is 'too short' for this or that? I have a newsflash for you; life is too LONG to be unhappy."

    If your wife really desires to step out and grab that dream, go for it.

    Now a personal story. Back in May of 2008, gas was $3.89 a gallon in my area. Everyone was panicking about it, but I was looking at buying a new Nissan Titan 4x4 truck. A few people said I was crazy because gas would be $5.00-$6.00 by the end of the year. Well, it just so happened that I had been reading a book that talks about the crippling effects of fear. Well, I took some of that to heart and bought the truck. Within three months, gas had dropped to $1.39 here! Of course, it's gone back up since but not to the "panic" level it had been.

    So yeah, follow that little inner voice because it rarely steers you wrong.

    EDIT: I forgot this part. Because of the gas price panic, Nissan had a $4500.00 rebate at the time. I was laughing at the people who took the Chrysler $2.99 gas guarantee when they didn't really want a Chrysler.
    Last edited by SpringerXD; August 27th, 2010 at 03:59 PM.
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    Without having enough in savings to get thru the hard times I would say no,Like others have said,if it's a business maybe she can try it out by starting on a part time basis,if it takes off and does well then she may be able to quit her job.downside in this economy if it's not something people need they may not be buying,especially when many people have been unemployed over a year,and they are saying we may get hit harder.I left a good paying job for another one in the past and regretted the decision
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  14. #14
    Senior Member Array bps3040's Avatar
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    In this economy, I would probably wait. I started a business in 92', right after I started it, my wife had a bad day....she quit her job and took a job for less than half the money. It almost sunk us. I had to take a second job and build my business..... and to eventually get rid of her.

    I know it is a little bit different situation, but if she goes for it and you lose your job....... same shoes. And trust me, it sucks. The stress triples.

    It is very stressful starting a business, fun because it is her dream, but very stressful. Be prepared not to see much of her. I worked 70 or 80 weeks for 5 or 6 years. I was single by then, so I was happy. I still work a lot, but now I can schedule my hunting and fishing days, lol. So, if successful, it is well worth it.

    Good luck
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    Senior Member Array CowboyColby's Avatar
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    The grass isnt always greener on the other side. Maybe a vacation would be in order to relax and recharge.

    However if she is truly unhappy and its affecting her outside of work a calculated risk change may not be bad if it helps her.

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