Kalifornia Dreamin'

This is a discussion on Kalifornia Dreamin' within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; The new Kalifornia governor has just announced an *agreement whereby English will be the official language of the state, rather than German, which was also ...

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Thread: Kalifornia Dreamin'

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    Bravo3
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    Kalifornia Dreamin\'

    The new Kalifornia governor has just announced an *agreement whereby
    English will be the official language of the state, rather than German,
    which was also considered.

    As part of the negotiations, The Terminator\'s government conceded that
    English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
    phase-in plan that would become known as \"Euro-English\" (or, if nobody
    will be offended, \"Euronics\").

    In the first year, \"s\" will replace the soft \"c\". *Sertainly, this
    will make English easier for sivil servants, many of whom don\'t seem to
    speak it.

    The *hard \"c\" will be dropped in favor of the \"k\". This should klear
    up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter, saving Kalifornia
    taxpayers millions and redusing the defisit. *

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
    troublesome \"ph\" will be replaced with the \"f\". This will make words
    like \'fotograf'20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
    to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
    always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
    horibl mes of the silent \"e\" in the languag is disgrasful and it should
    go away.

    By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing \"th\"
    with \"z\" and \"w\" with \"v\".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary \"o\" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
    \"ou.\"

    And after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
    no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
    oza. *Ze drem of a universal langvich for Kalifornia vil finali kum
    tru.

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