A Diet That WORKS!
Q: I\'ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that\'s it...don\'t
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that\'s like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable products.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating a regular exercise
A: Can\'t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good.
Q: Aren\'t fried foods bad for you?
A: You\'re not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they\'re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be
bad for you?
Q: What\'s the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
It\'s the best \"feel good\" food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: Explain whales to me...
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets. Now go have a cookie...flour is a veggie!