On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
Yesterday\'s Meals on Wheels
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On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
\"We\'re #1 in the #2 business.\"
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Sign over a Gynecologist\'s Office:
\"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.\"
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At a Proctologist\'s door
\"To expedite your visit please back in.\"
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On a Plumber\'s truck:
\"We repair what your husband fixed.\"
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On a Plumber\'s truck:
\"Don\'t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..\"
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Pizza Shop Slogan:
\"7 days without pizza makes one weak.\"
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
\"Invite us to your next blowout.\"
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On a Plastic Surgeon\'s Office door:
\"Hello. Can we pick your nose?\"
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At a Towing company:
\"We don\'t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.\"
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On an Electrician\'s truck:
\"Let us remove your shorts.\"
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In a Nonsmoking Area:
\"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.\"
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On a Maternity Room door:
\"Push. Push. Push.\"
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At an Optometrist\'s Office
\"If you don\'t see what you\'re looking for, you\'ve come to the right place.\"
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On a Taxidermist\'s window:
\"We really know our stuff.\"
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In a Podiatrist\'s office:
\"Time wounds all heels.\"
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On a Fence:
\"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.\"
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At a Car Dealership:
\"The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment.\"
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Outside a Muffler Shop:
\"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.\"
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In a Veterinarian\'s waiting room:
\"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!\"
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At the Electric Company:
\"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don\'t, you will be.\"
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In a Restaurant window:
\"Don\'t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.\"
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
\"Drive carefully. We\'ll wait.\"

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At a Propane Filling Station,
\"Thank heaven for little grills.\"