1. So that you can call yourself a "collector" instead of a gun nut.
2. Because the notion of "the right gun for the job" can be interpreted any way you see fit.
3. Because each of your great-great-great-great-grandchildren should have something to remember you by.
4. Because when Armageddon strikes, and you rush to the gun store, and the only box of ammo they have left is 6.5x55mm Swedish, and you have nothing to shoot it out of . . . well, aren't you going to feel pretty darn foolish?
5. Because diversity is our greatest strength.
6. Because you owe it to your fellow gun nuts to make them look reasonable by comparison.
7. Because every gun teaches you something.
8. Because you can.
9. Because every time you buy a gun, you're keeping it out of the hands of a bad person.
10. Because you want to be able to identify with the hero in any action flick.
11. Because Elvis would.
12. Because if time travel is ever perfected, and you can bring all of them back to the Alamo , Davy Crockett, Bill Travis and Jim Bowie are going to think YOU DA MAN!
13. Because one day, when you're famous, every gun you ever owned will be worth a fortune.
14. Because when the government makes a list of every kind of gun you're not allowed to own anymore, you'll have a few that they never even thought of.
15. Because when the cops lay all your stuff out on a sheet, take a picture of it, and publish it in the local paper, you want all the other gun nuts to be envious.
16. Because .50 Action Express autos need love too (and you never know when you're going to be attacked by a vicious herd of feral Volkswagens).
17. Because owning at least one of everything is the only known cure for that woozy feeling you get when you stare into the cases at the gun store.
18. Because the more guns you keep in your safe, the harder it'll be for a crackhead to load it onto a hand truck and cart it out the door.
19. Because your dot-com stocks may crater but you'll always be able to swap a Glock for airfare out of any Third World hellhole on the face of the earth.
20. Because unlike computers, the guns you buy now are not going to be available cheaper and more powerful in six months.
21. Because "number of deadly weapons owned" is an extra credit question on the entrance exam to Valhalla .
22. Because you don't want to be "out of it" when the merits of the Nambu Type 14 are discussed on the History Channel.
23. Because by the time you've worked your way through your collection, one by one, and get back to the beginning, its like shooting something new.
24. Because it pisses off politicians and the eternal do-gooders.