How to deal with a cop .... warning A blatent theft from another forum

[Redneck Repairs]

Alduro’s Guide to Dealing with the Police
1.) When you are pulled over, remember, cops are not like normal people. Be sure to fidget a lot and talk to yourself while saying things like “conspiracy” and “oppression”.
2.) Always make sudden movements then yell out “JUST KIDDING!” at the last second. Cops love that crap.
3.) When the cop first walks up to your window, scream “I KNOW MY RIGHTS!”….it’s a real charming way to start a stop.
4.) For every question the cop asks be sure to reply “None of your bees wax” over and over again.
5.) Call the cop “Ociffer” then giggle to yourself.
6.) High-five yourself every time you hear the cop say the word “sir”.
7.) When the cop asks for your drivers license tell him you are a sovereign citizen and be sure to include something about being the last Mohican, cops get a reward for finding the last of a Native American lineage.
8.) When the cop tells you what you did wrong blurt out “I know you are but what am I?” out of context as absolutely often as possible.
9.) Make sure if you are carrying a concealed handgun that you say “Nice duty weapon” then giggle and say “I carry more firepower than that between my thighs”.
10.) If you are carrying a concealed weapon be sure and let the cop know by yelling “I’VE GOT A GUN!” as he approaches your vehicle.
11.) If it is a K-9 unit, try to stuff as much beef jerky as possible down the front of your pants.
12.) If it is a K-9 unit, make every attempt, even if you have to use force to do so, to pet the dog while explaining what a great animal person you are.
13.) If the cops try to pull you over, stop the car, get out and run as fast as you can to their window. They love the fact that you are so anxious to meet them.

Follow those 13 little steps and I promise, your life will change.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[P95Carry]

I know Alduro from THR and he has written some darned funny stuff - and he is a serving LEO so writes from that perspective too.

This is what we might also call the 13 point guarantee of arrest

[Redneck Repairs]

heck Chris all we need is chiwawa or canned 15 mentioned and its the gunkid code imho LOL

[P95Carry]

Haha - could well be - except our GK didn't pass go and didn't collect $200 - and IS going to jail - done deal

Only other missing item of course is the wheelbarrow!

[Redneck Repairs]

Re read and apply all of the above in the approprate jurisdiction and you can win a weekend vacation with him as a bunkie ... LOL

[David III]

That number 12 would work great! I know how police dogs just love to see force used in front of them. A bonus is getting to see just how big their teeth are.
A bit off topic - I wasn't around during the GK era but I've read about him. Yesterday we were doing some work at the house and I was trying to figure out how to make my wheelbarrow more tactical....

[Wayne]

When an LEO starts to pull me over I hammer it for a couple of miles. I heard that LEO's love to have a car chase to make their night.

As for guns, when they come up (after the chase), I ask them if they want to see the fully auto M-60, loaded, that I have in the trunk.

A HUGE bag of oregano and baking powder, sitting in full view of the dash board is a good way to start up a friendly conversation with your LEO.

Wayne

[dimmak]

from "Meet the Fockers": "I will not stand down, you Sir will stand down!" (Out comes the Taser....)

[Bud White]

Alduro does come up with some funny stuff

[srfl]

"Follow those 13 little steps and I promise, your life will change."
....that is an understatement!

[CombatEffective]

That's funny stuff...

... speaking of police K9s, we had two guys we were chasing run into a wooded area. The locals responded quickly with their tracking K9 and went to work. We set up at various points along the edge of the woods.

One of the locals then came around and stressed to us "if somebody comes running out of those woods DO NOT give chase". :)

[MR D]

There should be a Warning on this Thread!!

any body know how to get root beer outta my keyboard?

funny!

[Old Chief]

Following these 13 rules to live by will earn you a free ride in the back seat of a squad car and an expense paid night (or more) with less than four star accomidations.

[Rock and Glock]

.....clean off keybord.........read responses.........keyboard again......

[Amnesia Wes]

And of course:

If the officer says,
"Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?"

Say:
"Your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

That'll surely win him over.

Wes