Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

This is a discussion on Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal ...

Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

  1. #1
    Administrator
    Array QKShooter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Off Of The X
    Posts
    35,055

    Talking Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

    Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?



    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

    OPRAH:
    Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    GEORGE W. BUSH:
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    DONALD RUMSFELD:
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

    ANDERSONCOOPER/CNN:
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY:
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

    JUDGE JUDY:
    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN:
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART:
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.


    DR SEUSS:
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    To die in the rain. Alone.

    JERRY FALWELL:
    Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

    GRANDPA:
    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS:
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON:
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

    ARISTOTLE:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    BILL GATES:
    I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    BILL CLINTON:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

    AL GORE:
    I invented the chicken!

    COLONEL SANDERS:
    Did I miss one?

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    Assistant Administrator
    Array P95Carry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    South West PA
    Posts
    25,482
    Some great ones there QK

    P95Carry - ''Why doesn't the lil' bugger just fly across''!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  4. #3
    Distinguished Member Array randytulsa2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    1,548
    That is TOO funny.

    Made my day.

    Thanks for a belly laugh.

  5. #4
    Member Array MoMike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Desloge, MO
    Posts
    254
    Or was it just to prove to a 'possum that it CAN be done!
    Cape Locum Et Fac Vestigium

  6. #5
    Distinguished Member Array BCurry1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    1,314
    LMAO
    Curry

  7. #6
    Moderator
    Array Rock and Glock's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Colorado at 15,670'
    Posts
    12,119
    Great way to start the day!

  8. #7
    tec
    tec is offline
    Member Array tec's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    77
    Good laugh, thanks

  9. #8
    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Southwest Tennessee
    Posts
    10,482
    I was wondering about that...

  10. #9
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Battle Creek, Mi.
    Posts
    2,285
    I stole it to send to my nephiew n IRAQ
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

  11. #10
    VIP Member
    Array srfl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    6,870
    ....under Pres. GWB: "the chicken crossed the road to live a better life in the United States....as a free-roaming chicken...and under my guest worker program...he will."

    Cluck.
    USAF: Loving Our Obscene Amenities Since 1947

  12. #11
    Member Array Freedz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Western PA
    Posts
    342
    Thats some good stuff there! crazy funny.

  13. #12
    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    North Dakota
    Posts
    1,858

    Heck, I always figured it was...

    Heck, I always figured it was... because my clan was hungry and it knew I was carrying.
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

  14. #13
    Member Array HighVelocity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    TEXAS
    Posts
    248
    Baghdad Bob; "There is no presence of chickens on the roads of Baghdad." It is propaganda.

  15. #14
    Distinguished Member Array dimmak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    TN
    Posts
    1,752
    DR SEUSS:
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    now I know where Don King gets his one liners.... ;o)
    "Ray Nagin is a colossal disappointment" - NRA/ILA Executive Director Chris W. Cox.


    "...be water, my friend."

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. Chicken wings
    By Ram Rod in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: November 15th, 2010, 12:26 PM
  2. Chicken Tenders and OC
    By redstgunnut in forum Open Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: September 30th, 2009, 10:47 AM
  3. Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? (actual scenario)
    By MRPOWER in forum Carry & Defensive Scenarios
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: March 27th, 2009, 12:00 PM
  4. Chicken or Egg???
    By jarhead79 in forum Defensive Carry Holsters & Carry Options
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: October 9th, 2007, 10:59 AM
  5. Cross Country Road Trip
    By MickGIS in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 49
    Last Post: August 27th, 2007, 11:37 AM