one liner

one liner

This is a discussion on one liner within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; After lunch today at Bob's Burgers I was stressing over needing a toothpick......My wife cracks me up with her one liners.......... "You carry a gun ...

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Thread: one liner

  1. #1
    Member Array crankinNM's Avatar
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    one liner

    After lunch today at Bob's Burgers I was stressing over needing a toothpick......My wife cracks me up with her one liners..........

    "You carry a gun everywhere and never use it; you always need a toothpick and won't carry one with you".

    Cracked me up........I used one of those plastic forks.


  2. #2
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    A little advice. Don't use the gun to pick your teeth. :)
    It is surely true that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Nor can you make them grateful for your efforts.

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    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    I buy one of those toothpick containers and carry it in the console of the car.
    I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers ---
    Chief Justice John Roberts : "I don't see how you can read Heller and not take away from it the notion that the Second Amendment...was extremely important to the framers in their view of what liberty meant."

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    Separate vacations.
    Yep, thats what you need.

    That will teach her to wise off.
    If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

    Washington didn't use his freedom of speech to defeat the British, He shot them!

    Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." -- Ernest Benn

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    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    sounds like you need a railed handgun so you can mount a bayonet/toothpicker
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array Stevew's Avatar
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    Needing a toothpick is important, but not urgent. Needing a gun could be important and urgent. Important and urgent gets priority.
    Your wife is right though. Carry a bag of dent a pics in your glove box a tell her she is right, and smart.
    Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around laws. Plato

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array mcp1810's Avatar
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    I got a Swiss army knife for Christmas. I actually used the tooth pick for the first time last night at a burger joint in Austin. Swiss army tooth picks rock!

    Tell her I said if she really loved you she would buy you one so you never have that problem again.
    Infowars- Proving David Hannum right on a daily basis

  8. #8
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    That's what purses are for. How about a basic black manbag?

  9. #9
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    Every time I see individually wrapped toothpicks in a restaurant, I grab a handfull and throw them in the center console of my car and more in a desk drawer at work. Nothing more frustrating than needing a toothpick and not having one. The things we use when "improvising" would make a dentist squirm...

    Cheers!
    One Riot, One Ranger. Long live the Republic of Texas.

    JOIN THE NRA AND DO IT TODAY!!

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