Drafting Guys Over 60

This is a discussion on Drafting Guys Over 60 within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the ...

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Thread: Drafting Guys Over 60

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    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Drafting Guys Over 60

    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

    For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..

    An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-#&*$#.

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen any one outrun a bullet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head..

    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

    HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

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    VIP Member Array wmhawth's Avatar
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    Drafting Guys Over 60
    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
    Problem with that is most of us over 60 just won't obey orders anymore.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wmhawth View Post
    Problem with that is most of us over 60 just won't obey orders anymore.
    Unless they commission the menopausal women!

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    VIP Member Array Hiram25's Avatar
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    Oh, yeah. Honey Do List. Get gun, get ammo, get terrorists!
    Hiram25
    You can educate ignorance, you can't fix stupid
    Retired DE Trooper, SA XD40 SC, S&W 2" Airweight
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    Lots of truth to all of the above. Obey orders? Not necessary. Just tell us what the dang job is and it will get done. We've had 30-40 years practice at that. And, we have a lot less to lose so we can do dangerous stuff; what the heck is the worst thing that could happen to me at this point that ain't gonna happen pretty soon anyway?

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    Senior Member Array Chevy-SS's Avatar
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    I love this country, but at 59 years of age, I consider myself much wiser than a typical 18-year old. I will not willingly give my life, nor kill someone else, without a VERY valid reason. Vietnam comes immediately to my mind. I barely escaped the draft in 1969, but even at age 18, I could sense that it was a useless waste of lives. I also consider most of the current fighting a complete waste and I'm gonna guess a LOT of older guys feel as I do.

    Yeah, if we are clearly attacked en masse by some foreign power, then sign me up. But most of the current 'wars' seem to be driven by money and corporate interests, and I want no part in them.
    'Be careful, even in small matters' - Miyamoto Musashi

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    I ran my duty section through fear and intimidation. That would be impossible with old guys.

    Although it does put a twinkle in my eye to think of an all volunteer prior-service unit of seniors. Once I have my kid off to school, I'd be all over that.
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    I'm sitting in one of the recruiter's office (headed down to Texas tomorrow) I read the OP to him we had a good chuckle. There are two youngins (I'm about to be 27 so I can call teens youngins ) headed down to MEPS that fit the description so good it's like you were sitting here with us.

    Thanks for the chuckle
    Nemo Me Impune Lacessit
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    If not me, then who?

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    I agree but I DO need my afternoon nap.

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    VIP Member Array bsnow's Avatar
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    Great humor, and on target with me..
    Blessed be the LORD my strength which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight. PSALM 144:1

    I CLING to my guns and my Bible.

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    There is a reason that the military has traditionally taken younger males, and have the older males in charge of them. Only a part of that is physical, a lot of it is emotional and mental, and has to do with obedience and such.

    I enlisted at 22, and there was and still is a big difference between my attitude, and those of the guys I came in with that are still around.
    Fortes Fortuna Juvat

    Former, USMC 0311, OIF/OEF vet
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    Member Array ldmtulsa's Avatar
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    I'm 64 and would have signed up a couple of hours ago. But, I just finished shoving 2 damn feet of snow from my drive way and realized I probably could not make it.

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    At the ripe old age of 59 and having done my time, I'm still willing to (literally) follow any member of Congress into battle. But I don't see that happening.
    Retired USAF E-8. Remember: You're being watched!
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

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    Distinguished Member Array mr.stuart's Avatar
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    Comedian Steve Harvey mentioned this in one of his acts,can't put it on here though.He basically said if they send grown men and women to a war,it ain't gonna go like they think it will.Anybody not wearing an American uniform would be in trouble.No following orders,no Geneva convention,no asking permission to fire.He said,you take us off the plane on Tuesday,you will put us back on the plane on Friday.
    Pain is the best teacher,but nobody wants to go to his class.


    When the past smothers the present, there is only desperation. When the future absorbs the present, life stands still. In either case a decision must be made because you only live now and you are only what you are now.

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    Well I spent my tour in Vietnam, an I have NO regrets. Duty to one's Country is to respect that Country. I would go again if called upon, no questions. But for those who serve, the rest would be servents. Just yhe ramblings of an old soldier.................
    US ARMY Veteran 1965-1967 Vietnam 1966-1967
    WELCOME HOME TO ALL WHO SERVED, AND FOR THOSE STILL SERVING,
    A BIG THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. FOR THOSE OF YOU DOWN RANGE
    WATCH YOUR 6, AND KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN.
    A PATRIOT BELIEVES IN IT....A VETERAN LIVED IT

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