FUNNY: La. declares War on the US!

FUNNY: La. declares War on the US!

This is a discussion on FUNNY: La. declares War on the US! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Louisiana Declares War on the USA . ONLY IN LOUISIANA !!!!!!! President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. "Hello, Mr.President ...

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Thread: FUNNY: La. declares War on the US!

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array varob's Avatar
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    FUNNY: La. declares War on the US!

    Louisiana Declares War on the USA . ONLY IN LOUISIANA !!!!!!!

    President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
    "Hello, Mr.President Obama," in a heavily accented Cajun voice said. "Dis' is Boudreaux, down here at Slim's in Kinder, I am callin' to tell ya'll that we declaring war on ya!"
    "Well Boudreaux," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
    "Rat now," said Boud, "dere's myself, my brother-in-law Thib, my next-door-neighbor Bubba, and a few other gator huntn' buddies. Dat makes eight!"
    Barack paused. "I must tell you Boudreaux that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
    "Wow," said Boudreaux. "call ya back!"
    Sure enough, the next day, Boud called again..
    "Mr Obama, de war is on! We got us some infantry quipment!"
    "And what equipment would that be Boudreaux?" Barack asked.
    "We got us two combines, couple of 4 wheelers, a piroque, and Thib's John Deere.
    President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Boudreaux, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
    "Lord above", said Boud, "be getting back to ya."
    Sure enough, Boudreaux rang again the next day. "President Obama, de war is still on! We got ourselves airborne! Bubba fixed his ultra-lite wit couple of shotguns in de cockpit, and four vets from the VFW signed up!"
    Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Boudreaux that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
    "Oh Lord," said Boud, "Call you back."
    Sure enough, Boudreaux called again the next day. "President Obama! sorry to tell you dat we have called off de war."
    "I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
    Well, sir," said Boudreaux, "we all sat down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to think that there's just no way our wives can make enough gumbo to feed two million prisoners."
    If you are a REALLY FROM LOUISIANA, you won't even need to be told to pass this on. GOD BLESS LOUISIANA
    Don't believe what you hear and only half of what you see!
    -Tony Soprano

  2. #2
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    A large group of terrorist are moving down a road South of Basra, when they hear a voice call out from behind a sand dune, "One Louisiana Cajun soldier is better than ten terrorists."

    The terrorist commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the dune, where upon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes. Then silence.

    The voice once again calls out, "One Louisiana Cajun is better than one hundred terrorists."

    Furious, the terrorist commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune, and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle..... again silence.

    The Cajun voice calls out again, "One Louisiana Cajun is better than one thousand terrorists."

    The enraged terrorist commander musters 1,000 fighters, and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought. Then..... an eerie silence.

    Eventually, one badly wounded terrorist fighter crawls back over the dune, and with his dying words tells his commander,"Don't send any more men. It's a trap. There's two of them."
    Helpful hints on pushing back and strengthening the 2A:

  3. #3
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    Cajun Diet

    Boudreaux was turning 78 and was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
    The doctor said, "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."

    When Boudreaux returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs!

    "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

    Boudreaux nodded... "I'll tell you though, I thought I wuz gonna drop dead on dat 3rd day."

    "From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

    "Hell no, it wuz from all dat damn skippin!"
    Helpful hints on pushing back and strengthening the 2A:

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    Back home in Louisiana!
    I miss home............

    I think I'll make a big ol' pot of gumbo.
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    "Sometimes when you're making gumbo, people just show up.", Leah Chase

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array Hiram25's Avatar
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    Funny! Skip a day!
    You can educate ignorance, you can't fix stupid
    Retired DE Trooper, SA XD40 SC, S&W 2" Airweight
    dukalmighty & Pure Kustom Black Ops Pro "Trooper" Holsters, DE CCDW and LEOSA Permits, Vietnam Vet 68-69 Pleiku

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array Beans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hiram25 View Post
    Funny! Skip a day!
    Do they have blonde Cajuns

  7. #7
    Array msgt/ret's Avatar
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    At least he didn’t tell him to do it for three days running, no telling where he would have wound up.
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by ppkheat View Post
    A large group of terrorist
    Love it. I heard the version where it was Yankees and Confederates at Stone Mountain.

  9. #9
    New Member Array sellisfam's Avatar
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    You sure that this wasn't supposed to be about Texas? They would have only needed the one.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array highvoltage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beans View Post
    Do they have blonde Cajuns
    A blonde was told to lose weight by running. Doctor suggested 5 miles a day, and come back in a week to review the results. A week went by, no blonde. After the second week they decided to search for her. Found her 70 miles from home.

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    +42.893612,-082.710236 , Mi.
    I'm crackin' up!!

    I would rather die with good men than hide with cowards
    If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.
    "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy."

    M&Pc .357SIG, 2340Sigpro .357SIG

  12. #12
    Distinguished Member Array Bubbiesdad's Avatar
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    Boudreaux's sister and her husband were having twins, a boy and a girl. As a gesture to Boudreaux of family togetherness, they decided to let Boudreaux name the children. The brother in law was talking of this to friends at work and was upset about it.
    "Well, what did he name the girl"? asked the co-worker.
    "Deneice", said the bil.
    "That don't sound so bad", said the co-worker, "what did he name the boy"?
    "Denephew", replied the bil.
    Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
    Richard M Nixon
    Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician.
    Jeff Cooper

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